Save me!

Someone save me from my life!! I read an article about finding joy yesterday I thought it all sounded good and then my day didn't stop at the end of the day I was frustrated. I did something for me again. I had a massage. I have been getting nasty headaches at the back of my neck that painrelievers don't relieve so I was hoping to help that. I visited the tanning salon and had a bad encounter with a different tanning bed I look more like a tomato in places and my behind was in much pain. Kind of funny really, but ouchy. Hannah had her during the day dance class since we are too busy for an evening one right now. Kylee and Autumn started choir so they left for school early and then I had call from Kylee afterschool that basketball was starting. Means trip back to the school in an hour and half. Then I had a call from new visiting teaching companion and we scheduled that. I had been on a note route So now I guess I am not and we sceduled visits-caused me some more anxiety. Then I got a call from my new visiting teachers to schedule appointments in the evenings- I don't like evening appointments because we are too busy! but I scheduled one anyways. We had a lousy dinner so I could leave to Amber's back to school night. I was there awhile with Amber because I couldn't get her home. And then after that I was trying to find lotion to relieve my butt of its flaming on fire feeling. I guess what fueled the frustration was probably the lack of sleep from Hannah waking up at 3:30 with a tummy ache and then throwing up about 5. But she was well enough to go to school when she got up and was fine the rest of the day. She had a bunch of congestion I guess. But she is home today with a sore throat. I have mountains of things to do and I don't like it!! I am blogging in avoidance and the worst thing to have happen right now is my STINKING dishwasher is broken!!! ANd it won't be until this weekend before we get the part! I really hate dishes. I would rather do laundry all day than one load of dishes. But I bought a bunch of paper plates and bowls and cups to buffer the need for dishes.

I forgot to recap the weekend- It was Wade's mission farewell. Darren and Carrie had an Open House on Saturday. We went to that. Just before we got there we found out Grandma Lay was in town. So we saw her and Grandma Leavitt and Kim and Gwen and Andy. Then on Sunday we went to our Sacrament and then their Sacrament to hear Wade speak. He is going to Phoenix Arizona. And then we went to Darren and Carrie's again for dinner and saw Sheila too, and Jared and Michelle and 3 of their 4. I don't know where my camera was so I am sorry-there are no pictures. Grandma Lay stayed with us for the weekend and we did dishes until midnight Saturday.

The rest of this week continues to be busy. I don't like lots of busy. I need to learn how to stop fighting the busy and learn to go with the flow but it hasn't happened yet.
I am still adjusting to the baby being in school and running back and forth all day-this is our week for seminary driving too. Lee Joe is doing that thank goodness. Lee Joe is doing his own business, that is stressful, But he has lots of work right now and we are dealing with our crisis still but that is improving but there are still good days and bad days with that and I plug along and act like all is well to the kids and the rest of the world and that can be tough. But the better days are now outnumbering the bad ones. I suppose that is why the weight of keeping up with the kids, their school and every other distraction is taking its toll. We are working on getting Amber her license and when that happens there will be a little bit of relief but new worries for mom. If it was just a 30 year crisis, I have been going through that since Hannah was 18 months. I have had 2 years of counseling and my big advice from the counselor is to find things that I want to do to take care of me. It is time and has been time for me to take care of me. Now more than ever. I am finally doing things other than going to the store by self. That is about as much me time as I have ever had and I am not a social person to count Relief Society stuff as me time. Doing the stuff I have has taken a lot of courage. I am standing up for my needs and doing some of my wants and finding value in myself and that is probably why the crisis I have been having didn't ruin me completely. Because it could have. So I am going to try find joy like the article said. I will figure it out. I am trying to remind myself how fast this year will fly by. Not that I want it to, but it will. Oh and Kylee's birthday is in a week and mine is in 11 days.