It is late but yet I must speak

I must"speak" since no one is here. This is not a "here is a day in my life" update but more contemplative on a personal thing. I have exercised 3 times in the past two weeks. Not a great track record but if you can count mowing the lawn in 98 degree heat that seemed to take hours and left me drenched in sweat we can add another day to that quota. So we all envy Janika's ability to drop weight but she has admitted that is due to hyperthyroidism that helps contribute to her ability to drop weight easily. She is also just one of THOSE people. My mom and my sister have always been light weights. They are 2 of THOSE people too. But not so for me. I have always had a muscular build. My sister has said she was jealous of me because my body changes a lot(so she says) with not so much effort. I think my body's problem is-being female it is a problem, if I were male I would be envied-is I build muscle very easily. Lee Joe somewhat envies me. I am overweight and yet there is a lot of muscle in there. I have thought that even though I don't want to be muscle bound at all I could probably do very well as a female bodybuilder-I would still have along way to go to be one, but I would look pretty buff without any performance enhacing supplements of any kind. When I have been working out with weights, the ones I have are 10 pounders and I can lift them fine and I get pretty fatigued at the end of a set-and that is at the END of the set. I guess it would be like 3-5 pounds for most women. I have been using these weights off and on for some time now as my weight has also gone up this past year due to stress and how I react to it. But I noticed even with my not very frequent exercising is that I am getting a body builder look to my upper back. Hmm, maybe if I don't want to look like that I should invest in some lighter weights. But maybe secretly I do. I will never be skinny even if I lost all the extra weight I have. So I might as well look strong. I can pull the trampoline across the lawn without any help and it is a piece of cake for me. But I could be using my weight to my advantage in that one. I look at my oldest two daughters. They are not fragile either. I joke and say we are just descendants of Amazon women. In June Amber had 4 weeks of PE 3 hours a day. She toned up and trimmed down a little. She looked really good and still has broad shoulders and really muscular legs. People who see Kelsea's abs are so jealous because at 15 she has six pack abs. Ok, even I am jealous. Once upon a time I had great abs too. I could do 50 situps in a minute in high school. But now I call my abs my 5 baby trophy. As much as I am proud of my 5 babies I am not that proud of that trophy. We will see what happens. I will keep working on working out and we will see if I lose weight, stay the same or maybe I will just look like one of the female gladiators when I get done.

I am trying to announce I am really setting forth on putting in an effort to make a change for the better for myself. I already have been, but here is THE announcement so that means I had better make good on it. My goal is not really in pounds as it is a size since muscle weighs more that fat. I would be happy as a skinny size 12. Not a stretchy pants 12, but a real size 12.

I must face the music and post this picture of myself with my skinny sister. I can say I have lost a smidgen of weight since May when this picture was taken.