Toughest call

Saturday was a long drawn out day. Dress rehearsal for honor choir first thing, Taxes were to done-we don't so them ourselves but the paperwork trail is enormous, a basketball game that required a clothing change in the car on the way there because it was close timing, then a basketball party that became a 2 hour thing but it was cute. The kids got to make their own pizzas. Then I had a couple hours before we got ready for the concert and went to it. Lee Joe was late like he always is but he was visiting with his Uncle Jared at a basketball game in Nampa. After the concert Amber and her friend wanted to do something nice for the boyfriend since his birthday was Monday. But he was in a mood and didn't want them to do anything. Everyone was encouraging him and then his family and ours left the concert. Then things went sour. I knew he was in a mood and called Amber to see what was up. And then I got mad because I knew he was hurting Amber's feelings which she does not express and told him he needed to treat her better. Little did I know she got hurt before that. It was dumb teenager stuff with a volkswagon bug-his bad mood and persistent friends. But Amber came home in tears and in pain. He saw her get hurt and didn't respond right away. I was angry. I was hormonal too so I always 2nd guess myself and I knew his parents would be angrier. I wanted to call them but didn't. Lee Joe was a little more casual than I was. In the morning though I was still very upset. Then Lee Joe agreed with me in how I viewed things. Amber couldn't get up. She was in pain. I am sure depressed. She did come to church eventually. She came home and went back to bed. I debated on calling, then going to his ward to talk to his dad/bishop. I didn't. I came home and talked to my sister and my mother-in-law before I was able to make the call. It was hard to tell parents I respect of an otherwise usually very good young man, what their son did to my daughter. She was in disbelief, but so upset at her son as I knew she would be. I was near tears by the end of the call. He did get in a heap of trouble but it opened more doors of communication for him with his parents and an awareness that he needs some help. I know he is not prepared for graduating and then being sent off to BYU immediately after he graduates for the summer. I remember my senior year with my mom moving away the minute I graduated looming over my shoulders and I was very unstable during that time and I understand that. But I want my daughter to come home in the same condition that she left my house, while under his care. So he came over and was very apologetic to me and to Amber. I told him it is time for him to get some counseling and some help and he says he will. Where did Amber get her tender heart I wonder?

I get into this uncharted territory of being a parent, you hope to never find yourself there. I am trying to teach my daughter how to put herself above those she cares for. I am not the best example. To see your daughter hurt physically and emotionally that way is heart breaking. For my strong steadfast oldest daughter, to see her weakness in her caring for someone at her expense yet knowing this boy can come around- but should she hang on...... OK it is late and I am hormonal I will admit yet again but some of these parts of parenthood you will never be totally prepared for. You are never quite sure if you are doing the right thing. And sometimes you have to let your child follow the path they choose and they will have to learn things their way in their time.