December Frenzy

I thought I had something more to say. Well maybe not. I have been listening to Christmas music all month long. I am sitting in my family room watching the lights on the Christmas tree more than the television and I can't believe Christmas is almost here.

Of course the news on Friday has changed everyone's perspective. The loss of 20 children and the 6 adults in the elementary school is ever present. I haven't allowed news coverage of the event in my house. Internet articles are enough to bring me to tears. Pres Obama's words are enough to get me all over again. Having worked in an elementary school for so long puts more weight in the anguish. I know how I would have acted. I haven't allowed the media onslaught in my home because the media fills us with too much information. Too many details so we feel as if we were in the school that day and we go right along trying to find answers and get the answers and far more information that has not been just devasting to all those people in Connecticut but to those of us who aren't there. I don't want my children to be afraid to go to school and they don't need to feel as if they survived a school shooting either. But I will have conversations with them. I will make sure my children know I love them. My heart aches for 20 families of little ones. and the six adults that sacrificed their lives for all the children and for the suspect's family who have to be equally devastated beyond words.

I don't mean to make light of what has taken place as I continue on:
With that out of system, we have been doing the December events in full force. So many concerts and another opportunity to hang lights for the Christmas party at the church. I said earlier today-They ask me because I have the lights and I know how to hang them.  Har Har...

In writing-- I keep working on it. I am editing and am writing a few other scenes to add and cutting out what isn't important. This is going to take a long time and is quite the brutal process and fills me with doubt about my abilities even though I know this is totally a part of the process.

I hope to have pictures to post next blog. I have a bad habit right now of staying up far too late with my writing endeavors. :( 

Winner!!

So here it is! This is a picture of my fancy new winner t-shirt! Not on me of course, for this pic. By the way, I have come to realize that the dislike of personal pictures is genetic.My mom, aunt, and cousin are all the same way. But if your lucky, you might actually see it on me in person.

Yes, I won NaNoWriMo with tons of time to spare. I was supposed to write 50,000 before the end of the month. I did that by the 15th. I wrote over 66,000 just before midnight on the last day of November.

Usually you work on something fresh but I went NaNo rebel and worked on something I have been writing for over a year. But my November word count was all fresh writing.

Don't judge me right now if I really mess up my choice of words or screw up my punctuation. I am editing and when I am not in novel mode, everything I know or thought I knew turns to mush.

I will tell you I didn't ever pay attention to word count before but I have discovered that I write a lot and quite easliy. Not that it is anything I would want to throw out there for anyone to read at first, but I have loads to say. So much so that as I pondered my "novel" and have looked at word counts on what is considered publishable for a first time writer (that is my goal) I have discovered that I didn't finish one novel. If I was George R R Martin, then I did finish one novel. But I am not.

I tend to write scenes and I have jumped around so much that I didn't know what size of book I was writing. I had to make some decisions. So when I looked at my story and put the pieces all together last night staying up until 3am, I found I have 2 complete novels in the 120,000 word count range. AND I have a quarter of a 3rd novel. This looks like it will span 4-5 books. What did I do? I hope I did something that will sell someday. But that is SCARY for me because I have just admitted to the world that I am doing this. So letting anyone read what I write is wildly nerve wracking.
What has happened through all this is my writing has changed and it has been for the better. But what that means is all that stuff I wrote over the past year now looks like crap that will need a lot of work. Even though I am feeling really great about what I am writing now, it doesn't last long because by the end of the day I think it's crap again. The best way to tell you how I have been these past few days since November ended is-- you know that scene from Tangled where Rapunzel has just left the tower and is exhilarated and hysterical crying over and over? That is me. Yep. That sums it up pretty well. 

The story has dragons in it. It is a very corny cliche way I came up with this idea. I had a weird dream that a castle was attacked by something and this black winged human was trying to lift me up and take me somewhere in the trees. I woke up that morning and wondered how I could make it into a story because it was so vivid. That black winged human is Raven in my story and the main character is Robin. Kelsea was my inspiration for her. But in this crazy weird epic fantasy I am writing, Robin has a dragon for a father and her mother is a dragon healer.  Way too complicated of a story line to give you the whole gist of it. So since I feel like sharing, here is scene in the middle of my first novel.
This has been one of my most favorite scenes to come out of NaNoWriMo.

Robin wants to learn how to use a sword. Robin is sixteen and Geoff is close to her size. This is her first day of training:
 
“Why do you want to do this?” Geoff asked her.

Robin was not sure how to answer him. Was it because she was bored and it looked like fun? It was a little of that. But that was not all there was to it. What she had told the Commander earlier was true.

“I want to protect myself. Someone won’t always be there to help save me. My mother was taken away while I could do nothing but watch. I don’t want to see that happen again and I don’t want to be that vulnerable when my father starts this war.”

“That is a very honest answer. I can understand that. I will tell you something while we are here alone but when we go out there things will be different. None of them want you there. But they never wanted me here either. You need to work harder than any of them will ever have to work, to prove yourself. They will be mean, I will be mean too. But you have to take it, get back up and prove that you really belong. Don’t play princess with any of us. You will earn no respect for being something special. I had to earn my place. That is what you have to do. It won’t be easy and it will hurt. But don’t be a girl and cry about it.” Geoff looked her in the eye. “Remember, when we go back out there, I am not going to be a nice guy. Whatever you do, don’t cry.” He picked up a helmet and put it on her head. Then he handed her padded gloves.
 
“You better put your hair up in that helmet, someone might try to cut if off. It won’t be me, but you never know how far they will go. You still want to go through with this?”

Robin’s chest tightened and she wasn’t sure anymore but her head nodded. She had no idea how she agreed with him but as she crossed the field she tried to suppress the terror and replace it with feeling numb. All eyes watched as she approached, she wanted to walk straight to the lair instead. But her feet took her to the field. As soon as Robin and Geoff were at the end of the line of men training with swords, Geoff took hold of her shoulders to turn her body to face his.

“Just block me.” That was Robin’s only warning as Geoff made his first overhead strike. Instinctively Robin blocked his sword, surprised by his strength, she nearly fell back. Remembering what the Commander had done to the trainee who had locked his knees, she bent hers and was able to hold his sword up with her own until he released that hold and he went right into an up-swing. She jumped back instead of blocking his sword. He lunged forward and elbowed her square in the chest. He knocked the wind out of her as she fell back on the ground. Robin clutched at her chest as she gasped for air.

“You left yourself unprotected. Never do that because next time it could be a sword.” He held his hand out to help her up. She struggled to breath. The stern look he gave her reminded her of what he had told her in the armory. She took his hand, she was upright again but she hurt like mad.
 
The men next to her watched her reaction. It had brought tears to her eyes but she sniffed, pressed her lips together as she held her sword with both hands to ready herself for the next blow. If anything, his painful reminder made sure she would never forget to protect herself.

Then Geoff was relentless with swing after swing, he hammered Robin. He was not easy on her at all. Her ears rang with every clash of their swords as her arms started to shake with every block she made. He elbowed her any time she let guard down. Robin found herself on the ground more times than she could count.

Then when Robin blocked one of his down-swings, he kicked her in the gut once she blocked him. On the ground again, she moaned as she rolled over onto her knees. Folded over with grass in her face as Robin held her stomach with one hand, still holding the sword with her other, she didn’t think she could go on. Robin wondered where the Commander had been and if Geoff was even being fair at all. She stayed scrunched over as she struggled to keep tears from falling. The fact that she was nearly crying and she was trying her best not to, made her furious. Unable to get up, still folded over on the ground, Robin successfully fought back the tears, bottled up her anger as her mind raced to what she needed to do next. Robin couldn’t deny that Geoff had bested her all day long and she knew she was done but she did not want to go out beaten. A Dragon shadow passed over her as she pushed herself up to her knees. That convinced her to try one more time. Geoff and the men around her were taunting her but she couldn’t hear a word they said. She had tuned them out long ago. Robin needed to let him know she was done, her way.

“Geoff, what have you done to her?” Captain Liam asked as he stood over Robin. She held her hand up for him to stop as she struggled to stand on her feet then staggered towards Geoff as she prepared herself for another go.
 
She took her time to get ready.

“Robin, I think you are done for the day,” Liam said.

“No,” Robin said, barely able to speak while she settled her feet into the ground with her insides in a painful knot. She waited. She knew what Geoff would do next. A side-swing was what she needed. He did just what she thought he would do. A swing to her right side, the clang as their swords clashed made her ear ring, as she blocked him effectively then because she had placed her feet readily, as she pushed his sword away she side-swept his leg with one of hers. Catching him off guard, he fell hard on his back.

“Now I am done. I will be back tomorrow.” Robin took her helmet off, bit the finger of one of her gloves to remove it from her hand so she could offer it to Geoff.
 
Geoff rolled over on his hands and knees not wanting her help. As Robin walked past him to the lair, he glanced up at her and she thought she saw the slightest hint of a smile on his face. Even if she only imagined the subdued smile on his face, she felt taller than she ever had, proud of herself as she strode painfully, with every muscle in her body screaming and complaining, to the lair. In spite of every wickedly painful step she took, what she was able to do to Geoff in the end, was all worth it. Above Robin, her father glided over her, with a smile of triumph on her face, she watched as he landed in the lair. She couldn’t wait to tell him about her day.