What a Zoo

My special Grandma and Grandpa

2012-01-23T19:48:00.000-07:00

These are the charms my grandma wore on her wrist with profiles of her grandchildren and great grandchildren. My grandma passes away in December. My Aunt Kathy found my charm and the 3 of my girls that she had charms for. The gold one has my name on it and on the back is my birthday. The other 3 are Amber Kelsea and Kylee's. She had 6 kids there were lots of grandkids and even more great grandkids since she lived over 90 years. Aunt Kathy sent the charms to my mom (this grandma was my dad's mom) and my mom gave the charms to Kelsea and this is what she made me. I don't think I even have expressed completely how much this means to me. I wrote what is written below on the day she died not knowing I would recieve this for Christmas. I am not rereading what is below because I don't want to cry tonight. I hope it makes sense and expresses just how much my Grandma June and Grandpa Hub meant to me. The charms and this bracelet made for me by my daughter are probably the greatest treasure I own.

Today is the day my grandma died. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that it took me by surprise. I wish that I had more time with her. I am upset when I think about the circumstances that changed my life so dramatically and took me from having her as an active part of my life. It took until I was an adult to learn what an amazing person she was.

I spent a lot of time at Grandpa and Grandma’s house in Connecticut until I was four and then my mom and dad split up and we moved to Denver. And that was the last time I would see my dad and many of my Connecticut family for almost 30 years.

But Grandpa and Grandma came to see us. They came when I was in second grade with my aunt Amy. I always heard from them on my birthday and at Christmas. Time was passing and contact with my dad was sporadic but I never did see him. Then I graduated from high school, got married and I heard from him less.

Then when I lived in Texas with my husband and young daughter we got a call that grandpa and grandma were going to visit. I couldn’t believe they were coming all that way just to see us. They came and visited and admired me and my family. Grandma didn’t just walk into the room. I swear she glided like a swan. She moved beautifully whenever she moved. I had never seen anything like that in my life. Grandma was a ballet dancer. She wore this beautiful bracelet that tinkled and jingled whenever she walked. When she showed me the beautiful bracelet on her wrist while she extended her graceful hand, I was not prepared for what it really was. It was profiles of boys and girls faces. She showed me there were names on them. Those names were her grandchildren. She told me I was on one and it had my birthday on it as well. I found my charm and my sister’s. I felt love wash over me. They shared with me more things. There was a photo album of their 50th wedding anniversary party. She shared with me the names of my aunts and their husbands and my cousins. There were so many people, I was overwhelmed. There were pictures with my dad and his wife and boys as well. But what was the most significant to me was the picture of the quilt. On it at the top was my dad's name, below that was my name and below that my sister’s and below that my brothers names, who I had never met, all underneath my dad’s name. I don’t know what I thought happened. I guess in my mind I thought I left and didn’t belong to them any more. But with this visit all of a sudden I saw a door was opened. One I thought would be never open to me. It was the door that belonged to my dad’s family, MY family. After nearly 20 years at that time, I had never been forgotten. It meant the world to me.

Then they told me the story of the candy jars. One day before we left Connecticut, I had to have been four. They had candy jars that were lined up by the stairs down to the cellar. I had taken a carpet bag and put all the lids to the candy jars in that carpet bag. Then I had left. They never took those lids out of the bag and put them on the candy jars after all these years. They were waiting for me to come back and put the lids back on the candy jars. All I could see were these candy jars without their lids for years collecting dust waiting for my return before they could be complete again.

For years after that all I could think about was going back so I could put those lids on those candy jars. We lived in Texas a few more years. I had another daughter. Then we moved to Idaho and had more daughters. We were a young family with old cars and challenging circumstances and Connecticut was far away and expensive to try and visit. My grandparents came to visit us again in Idaho. I had to ask if the candy jars were still waiting for me. They told me yes, the candy jars were still waiting for me.

Time passed some more. Grief over my father’s absence in my life intensified as I watched all my daughters build relationships with their own father. My grandparents had explained his quiet introverted nature to me. I tried to find perspective but really, even with all the effort I put into making my family and myself real to him, nothing seem to work. I agonized more and more. The candy jars haunted me. Then news that my Grandfather was suffering from Dementia came. I knew time was getting short and I desired to get there more and more. I decided during the summer of 2003 that I would go. We were waiting for some financial situations to work out. But the decision was getting drawn out further and further and time was getting short. I needed a better vehicle as well so the push came, we bought a van and a few days later I was on the road in a car I wasn’t familiar with yet. I was on the road by myself with my 5 daughters that were 12 years old to 18 months. I was scared to travel alone but I was even more scared to death that my dad would not want me there. I consoled myself that Grandma and Grandpa and all the family would be worth the visit. They had done such a great job keeping in touch with me when he hadn’t.

I got there and grandma was so loving to me. Grandpa had just been put in a home because his alzheimers got really severe. She was in agony over his absence. I came and spent hours talking with her when everyone was gone. I filled the void for her as she tried to adjust to life without his presence. I was trying to cope with the reunion with my dad, trying to understand the conflict he was dealing with and with my flooding emotions of abandonment. I slept in the bedroom that had once been his and laid in bed thinking how wonderful it was now that I could say I had spent the day with my dad. Something so simple that everyone else took for granted was now a part of my life. “I visited with my dad today.” That comment was mine now. My dad hugged me today, yeah, I could say that too. But what was the most poignant, as I cried over the years of grief with my grandma, was that she understood better than anyone. Yes my dad was still alive but I still suffered from his absence in my life and didn’t fully understand if I meant anything to him anymore. She understood me because she lost her mother to hepatitis when she was very young and not long after that her father was murdered so she was abandoned by tragic life circumstances and was raised by her aunt. She knew the pain I felt and the ache I had in my heart for the parent that wasn’t there. Even though I cried and cried, healing was starting to begin. During that trip the visit with my dad was strained. I believe he thought I would come and give him grief over his absence. He tried to explain things to me. I just wanted to build something where there was nothing and not place blame on anyone. But I started to understand, I started to see him, I saw the past, everyone in the family had suffered by my family’s departure. Grandma told me in all the years she had been with my grandpa, she had never seen him cry except for the day that we left. She told me he absolutely adored me. When I looked through her albums and picture frames, She had every picture I ever sent her.

We visited grandpa in the home and grandma told him I was there to visit him. When he answered her I could tell he was remembering the Kim that had been the little girl that put the lids of the candy jars in the carpet bag at 4. He was suffering from his dementia too much to be able to see me, the grown up Kim with 5 daughters to share with him. Back at the house, I never said a word when I was there, but I went to find the candy jars that lined the stairs to the cellar. They weren’t there. I had learned that Grandpa in one of his Alzhiemer’s rages had torn apart the cellar. The family had to put it back together. The candy jars had been moved. I did find them. In a box, on a shelf. But they all had the lids on them. I looked around some more and found the carpet bag somewhere else in the cellar. Of course it was empty. I had waited too long. It was too late.

When I came home back to Idaho, it took me a long time to overcome the mountain of information, the grief, and figure out how everything fit together all over again. Nothing was as I had seen it in my mind. What took place there was wonderful with all the relationships I built with everyone that was my family. I had never cried so much in my life. Everyone shared their story with me about the part they knew before we moved away. And everyone of them was just as broken hearted as my grandparents were when we left. Along with this new perspective came a new kind of grief. Along with this grief came a few more years of my father’s silence. It felt like after all that, nothing had really changed.

A couple years ago, grandpa finally passed away. I was in great turmoil on whether or not I should go to the funeral. My husband insisted. The weather was bad and we almost didn’t make it. We did, but our baggage did not. I was so stressed about everything, the nightmare delays, lost luggage and downpouring rain from Boston, to Providence to little Groton Connecticut. Then the crazy worry I put myself through whether or not I was welcome. We showed up at the funeral home. My aunt never told my dad I was coming but I didn’t know this. So when my brother saw me he ran to get my dad. They were excited to see me. My grandmother embraced me and I was so loved and welcome there again. I was overwhelmed. Grandma struggled with her grief but she did it with her beautiful graceful way. My heart ached for her as she ached for her husband. I stayed for the funeral and had another day to visit. This visit though was a true reunion. My dad kept me at his house even though my aunt amy was eager to have me if he wouldn’t. But there was no hesitation on his part that we would stay with him. My dad talked and talked to us. He talked about many things with his job he just retired from and other random things. We went to dinner at the Olive Garden which is his and my favorite restaurant. He has done photography for years. Mostly nature scenes. He shared his pictures with me and said I could have as many as I wanted. As I was there and my visit was coming to an end I realized something. My grandpa wasn’t able to bring us together in his lifetime but he was able to do it with his death. I saw that my grandpa finally brought us together. That visit was much better than the one before. And on the plane home I cried because I could still hear my dad’s voice in my head. That had never happened to me before and it was a moment I had wished I could capture and keep forever.

This is Amber, Kelsea and baby Kylee. Grandma and Grandpa came to visit us in Idaho.

So now my beautiful dancing grandma has passed away. She is finally with her beloved husband. I never did have enough time with her. The days I have spent with her in my life since I was four probably do not even fill up a calendar month. But the time I have had with her was packed with meaning and mending. Because of her tender heart and efforts on my behalf, I have healed my own heart. I have a relationship with my father. It’s still kind of the same but I have perspective and peace with what it is. It is not perfect and it’s not a happy ending but I am happy with what I do have. Grandma is the best example of how to live with passion in your life. She loved to dance. I never have seen her dance. But when she walked across the room it was like she was dancing. She is also a powerful force, an incredible example showing how to move forward in life after great adversity. How my heart aches now, her funeral is almost 3000 miles away and I won’t be able to be there. But I love her and how I would love to see her remembered by those she treasured. She was my link to the other half of me when my father wasn’t there. But she did wait to leave this earth until that part of her family had mended. Everything she has sent me, and that she has written to me is my treasure. I know that she will always be with me. For the rest of my life all ballerinas I see are visions of her.

Puppy Love

2012-01-17T21:57:00.000-07:00

I know I have posted about these pups before but I really do love these dogs. I didn't think I was dog person or only the kind of dog person that could love Spot a bunch and that was all there was. But these boys are cute and very loving and follow me around the house wherever I go and scratch at my door when I shut them out. The boys are will not be men dogs ever again. I was nervous dropping them off because you sign a form saying you realize that they may have issues with anesthesia and you won't know until it is too late. But they were fine. Dobby loves his toys. In particular he likes these really loud squeaker balls and will relentlessly search for them if they are lost. He has to pick a toy up before you take him out of his pen in the morning. (We have tried sleeping with them but they are pretty bad sleepers with people) We were surprised to find out Yoda weighs a whopping 11 pounds. He is shorter than Dobby and Dobby is just under nine pounds. Yoda can now push Dobby around. It took until just a few weeks ago before Yoda could jump up on the couch.

The love to shred paper towels and toilet papet and tissues. They usually are pretty good about just chewing on their toys but Saturday they got an ink pen. I came home to a bunch of ink on my carpet in my family room and on my new recliner. I was frustrated to put it kindly. I read to use alcohol. It was instantly coming up but it was hard not to spread it around. After an hour and half of dealing with the spots that night I had to stop. I shampooed the carpet the next day and this is what was left on the carpet.

The recliner has two blue dots just smaller than a dime and another few spots but I guess I can live with that.

The puppies are still keepers. I still talk so silly to them and let them hang out with me when I home all day. I call them Yodel, bubba or Dobbers and would not want to be without the silly little pups even if they bark too much.

Aren't they cute? They aren't real impressed.

In case you haven't heard about Spot. For one, she really needs a hair cut. She is a 13 year old Japanese Chin Poodle mix-Japanoodle or Chin a poo. My mom had a Japanese Chin that was a pup from my grandparents Chins and she had poodle. On New Years Eve Spot was born just a half an hour before 12 but we always forget to tell her happy birthday. Good thing she doesn't care. She is going blind right now, even when she doesn't have hair hanging in her face. It's sad because I was there when she was born and I do think she has been a wonderful dog.

Since this is about my pets, this is Sox or Socks. I never really decided how I wanted to spell her name so it is often spelled both ways. She was born in our house on April fools day about 9 years ago. Her mother got mastitis and I had to hand feed her and her 4 other siblings. Spot helped with them as well as mothered them and tending them the way their mother couldn't when she was sick. So I am super attached to her too. She use to like to lay near my feet and touch me with her paw just so she had some sort of contact. She is bigger than the dogs and we think she totally looks like a Maine Coon Cat.

I am done with my pet post. I couldn't imagine living without them. I would have no excuse for talking to myself when I am home alone.

Christmas is over already?

2011-12-26T20:25:00.001-07:00

Every year seems to go by faster and faster than the one before. This one was a blur. Big events and interesting challenges have come our way this year.

Lee Joe did come home. He made it home a good week and a half before Christmas. He had thought there would be more work for him here at home but was told he needed to go file unemployment. Nothing ever goes smoothly around here. At least that has been the case for all of 2011. So he did. He got some days at home, had time to fix his car and work a smidge on mine, then looked into Amber's car and there was some bad news there. When Kelsea overheated Amber's car in October, she drove it too long in that condition and it needs a major repair now or a new engine. Lee Joe was not sure what he was going to do for work. But he made some calls and one of the calls he made had him going to work within hours of the call. From 6pm to 6am. That was two days of work before Christmas. But since he has been working 80 or more hours for months now, he was not ready but went. Then on Thrursday evening they told him they wanted him to head out of town for 3 weeks, Monday after Christmas. Then he was really beside himself. He didn't want to go but after talking to them at length he said he would. So this is the Monday after Christmas and he has left to drive truck to Montana and then to Utah back and forth until they decide to send him home again. That will mean he will miss the 4th birthday for this year-Hannah says he wasn't there for her birthday last year either. And another holiday-unless he manages to be in Utah for New Years and I decide the drive to Utah. We have to see if it will be something I can manage and see if the weather cooperates.

The girls wanted footy pjs. So funny.

As far as Christmas goes, Lee Joe was home. Amber is not, we are trying to figure out how these things work. But it worked well enough. We had Amber and Ryan over in the evening of Christmas Eve. They came back on Christmas Day until they went to his parents house. The girls were so fun Christmas Eve night. All the girls wanted footy pajamas which cracks me up since they all wanted them and they are 18, 15,13 and 9. I don't usually do the Christmas PJ thing, but we did this year. They were so funny.

Kelsea got her Harry Potter movie. Triumph!

Kelsea wanted a few specific things for Christmas, but what made me laugh was that her favorite present was not one she asked for. She got a Harry Potter wand that lights up on the end when you just wave it. She waved it on, off, on, off, on off. Then when she put in it back in the box she opened, closed it, open, close, open, close. Yes the child is ADHD and very easlily entertained. She reminded me of when she was 5. I loved it!

Kylee and Autumn didn't ask for anything this Christmas. I enjoyed all the smiling they did with what they did get. Kylee is easy and happy with everything. She was happiest with a pair of boots she got and an angry birds t-shirt. Autumn is always quite reserved and is always thinking. I remember the Christmas when she was 4 and all she wanted was a carebear. She looked at all the presents and asked which one was the Care Bear and almost everything else didn't matter. This year she was all smiles. Lee Joe even caught her sighing with contentment. She has asked for a camera several times. She didn't ask this year but she did get one. Hannah wanted this magic set something awful. We saw it at Costco and she talked about it for several weeks. She did the same with a Darth Vader alarm clock. This Christmas was a strange one. She got a Lego Star Wars Darth Vader ornament for the tree. She wanted Star Wars stuff, lego stuff and is into angry birds. But she wanted really pretty clothes and nice pea coats like all her sisters have. She also got Star Wars wall stickers. I think we will be painting her room soon. And she loves giraffes. It was a really funny year for her. Her birthday is in a few days so there will be more. But she still enjoys Build a Bear. We did get her a bear before Christmas for her birthday, because the store is way too slammed after Christmas. She did NOT dress the bear in Star Wars stuff. She chose a very sparkly outfit. So she is so quirky and she is turning 10 so things will be changing. I can see the little girl leaving and see a little of the pre-teen setting in. It makes me sad.

Quite the beast! Love it!

Kelsea was in charge of shopping for me. She did a great job. My mom, Lee Joe and Kelsea all got together and got me this fantastic Kitchenaid mixer. But I still need to try it out. I was done with my baking when I got it. I will have to try something soon. I LOVE the show Merlin right now. She got me the 2 seasons that are out on DVD right now. I got a few other things I really wanted. The sweetest thing she did was she made me a bracelet with some charms from my Grandma June. I will take a picture and dedicate a post explaining the significance of the charms. What she did with it is beautiful.

I will post about the importance of these charms.

Lee Joe was so funny this year. He complained when the girls and I got ipods in the past. Now he started to complain that he didn't have one. But the isolation in North Dakota got to him I think. So he really wanted an ipod. He did get one for Christmas this year. We did pretty good when he was opening his other gifts, keeping it from him. But one gift was a charger that plugged in the wall and in the car with a few different adapters you could use for other things. That was the only hint he needed. He started to go after the other present he suspected of going with that charger. That was funny. He did get an ipod touch. We were all trying to get him trained up on it before he left. Some of the aps will be really helpful for him while he is away.

While Lee Joe was home, he got to know the puppies. He can be pretty impatient sometimes. But they are so cute that he was really taken by both of our boys. Speaking of the boys, they will be having a necessary surgery tomorrow. So hopefully they won't be traumatized by the experience. I think Yoda is finally past the trauma from the Parvo and shots experiences. I just hope we don't have start all over again with him. Dobby is just a super cute whiney baby when it comes to pain.

Still here...

2011-12-01T22:30:00.001-07:00

In case you were still wondering if I am still here, yes I am.

Puppies are growing and I enjoy them very much. Except when they decide to run out the front door and take themselves for a jog without a people escort. That happened for the first time today. They are like having toddlers right now. I am always cleaning up after their messes. But they are 100% housetrained now. They are very attached to me.

Lee Joe is in North Dakota-still. He came home the first week in October. He did not make it home for Thanksgiving. For awhile I thought it would just be me and the three youngest and my mom for Thanksgiving. But Kelsea didn't have to work at Tucanos and Amber and Ryan told his family they were having dinner with us because they knew there wasn't going to be many of us here. So we had a nice low key dinner all together with all the favorites. We watched Ryan's family launch rockets which has become their Thanksgiving morning tradition and it was something new and fun for us to watch.

Lee Joe WILL be home just before Christmas. What he does next is still unknown.

Kelsea has moved back home but with school and her 4 jobs and social life she is not home much.

So I continue on as a single parent. I haven't figured out what to cook for the 4 of us. Especially when 2 hardly eat anything so it's like cooking for 2 and half. We can always agree on pizza. But I think that is getting old, cheap totinos pizza, pizza bagels, pizza rolls, papa murphys or pizza hut. And half price happy meals on Tuesdays are great. I think I fed the 4 of us for $6.00 the other night.

I don't like driving to seminary. I am NOT a morning person. I never have been. I don't even like breakfast. I will stop griping now because you don't need to hear me go on and on about it. Because I really could. I don't like the cold right now either. But I was reminded after I subbed on a really cold windy day this week that I really like being home again. At least not working in the cold all the time this winter. But the kids at the school are so sweet. When I come back, they ask me where I have been and why I am not there everyday. They tell me they miss me. I get tons of hugs and they all love to say hi to me. That makes my day everytime.

I have a new obsession right now. I absolutely LOVE the show Merlin. It is filmed in the UK. It was on NBC here a few years ago and we loved it then. Netflix has had it. I finally got around to watching it. There are 3 seasons of it on Netflix right now and the 4th is airing in the UK right now. It is recreated/retelling of a young Merlin and young King Arthur. It is a very well done TV show that plays more like a movie. I can't get enough of it. I usually don't watch things over and over but I have started rewatching the episodes again.

At the moment besides getting ready for Christmas things are quiet-I say that but there is no dad, no extra drivers, driving to seminary and school, there is choir and honor choir for Hannah, jazz band for Kylee and basketball, and regular band for Autumn-things are boring. My motto is boring is a good thing. I am all for boring. We had a our share of car breakdowns in Nampa-two weeks in a row. yeah, and a bunch of other super stressful stuff I can't share here. But things are what they are and after all the tough things I think I have learned how to shrug it all off. I worry less. Or maybe I found some great supplements to help me out. I don't know. But I think I still think the driving to seminary is the thorn in my side right now.

I really love to write. (Can you tell when I blog?) You would think I would have more time now to do that. Well, I am getting in the way of that and I am very frustrated about it. I am getting wound up enough that I am about to get really motivated. Once Christmas is finally taken care of, and the dogs stop messing up the house, I have clean clothes to wear, the kitchen counter is cleaned up, and.... and........ This is where the Nike logo means so much-- Just do it!!!!

Puppy Recovery

2011-09-19T00:50:00.000-06:00

We are happily in now in the fun part of puppyhood and the work of raising them to be well adjusted dogs has begun.

Dobby sleeps in the funniest positions and is either in contact with brother or with one of us. Yoda is very tolerant of Dobby's restlessness. I have slept with Dobby. And wakeup with him too. He is constantly moving and cuddling. Yoda is more aloof but does not like to be alone.

It's hard to get pictures of the boys at play. They turn out like this.

I think this is Yoda the weekend after Parvo. Yoda and Dobby have been putting on healthy weight. Yoda is very picky with his food and stopped eating. I was worried and found some dog food for finicky chihuahuas and it was a hit. But it was blended with the other two dog foods I have for them. Yoda loves to sit in the sun, if the flies leave him alone. He had a day where he didn't want to be outside and the flies landing on him freaked him out so we went backwards in the housetraining. For some reason the flies are ridiculous right now. But they are doing pretty well on the housetraining for being as young as they are.

Dobby is a fun loving super affectionate puppy. He can't wait to say hi to everybody. He has learned to fetch and picking up on training quite well. He knows sit. He is learning what outside means. He has learned stay, come and leave it. He is sharp. Yoda is much more stubborn. He takes a bit more time to learn as well. He loves little bits of hot dog. So he has also learned sit, stay, come and leave it. He probably will either take longer to learn fetch or he just won't be interested.
Kelsea did this Dobby but oh my gosh, he is so funny and cute. Dobby lives up to his name. The vets office has agreed. My pups were the talk of the vets. They said they were amazed at Yoda's recovery. I took them to get what we are calling their first round of shots. We are skeptical of the quality of the shots they got (or if they really got them) from the people we bought them from. I took Dobby, Yoda, Spot and Sox the cat all together to the vaccination clinic. We were there for over 2 hours but the puppies looked good and the vet tech that helped us said he heard about our puppies. Dobby handled his shot fine. I have had some issues with Yoda panicking when things happen too fast for him. But the shot brought back bad memories. He cried like he was getting hurt for a long time even after the shot was over. Then they trimmed the pups nails. The vet got one to close to the quick. And he freaked out again. So Saturday Yoda had some moments where he sounded like he was severely injured when I picked him up. It has taken some work to get him to calm down. He has become quite fearful. But he was better today. Spot doesn't mind playing with Yoda but wants her space from Dobby. She is trying desperately to act the part of puppy. But it is fun to see our 12 year old dog act like she is much younger. The cat hates the whole idea of there being puppies in the house. But she is starting to come around. She is bigger than all of them so she can be the queen if she wants to. I have had success crate training them and they have a wonderful night time routine. We can put them to bed in a pen around 9 and they stay asleep until at least 7:30 before they need to go out. I came to a conclusion last night. The reason we got puppies must be because I have a little snoopy card thing on my vision board that says "Happiness is a Warm Puppy" Now if only the rest of the things on my vision board would come true.

Other than that, this week has been a rough one. One of our neighbors two houses down passed away. I made a trip to Payette and back and now my car is fussing at me. I had a bunch of other pieces of bad news. I also miss my kids that aren't here. Hannah and I are spending an awful lot of time alone together. Which also means my household help doesn't really exist either. You would think being home I would have lots of time to take care of things but not with puppies around. But there is some potentially good news we got today. We will have to see if it happens. Lee Joe might be able to start working on a job in Burley over the winter. That is 2 and half hours from us. Much better than the 16 hours from home that he is now. One way or another we are hoping he will be back closer to home soon.

Puppies and Parvo

2011-09-03T22:28:00.004-06:00

I would like it if I could have events in my life just happen like they do for most people. I would like to say "We got puppies! Let the training begin." But things aren't that easy around here. As the course of the past few months-look back years-no that never happens. One way to look at it is Heavenly Father must really love me because he pays a lot of attention to me by giving me lots of character building experiences. But I would like it if he ignored me for awhile and paid attention to someone else. Then another thought I had was I must have been selected to save these puppies because maybe someone else wouldn't have.

Here is how it happened. In a previous post I shared how we had to put Buddy to sleep at the beginning of August. Our rescue dog that we had for 12 years, lived a long dog life with us. We still have Spot who is 12. Hannah said before we put him to sleep that we needed to get a puppy because that is the best way to get over the loss of your dog. I wasn't ready for that at all. But over the course of the month I found myself pet looking, just looking. Telling myself they are hard work and it was nice being down to one cat and one dog, 3 guinea pigs and several fish tanks. I did pretty good talking myself out of it. I was thinking kitten. But the kids weren't for that but they are easier I think.

The kids started school and I don't know what was up with the cat and the dog but since I am not working, they followed me all day. I was in my room, they were there. I go to the kitchen, they follow me there. Spot seemed depressed. So I was in conflict now. Then Kelsea came to visit and says out of the blue she wanted a puppy. And there I was pet looking again. Then there were some Chihuaha/Dachsunds that showed up. And there was another small dog but that one didn't pan out. So Kelsea had pictures texted to us and they were super cute. So we went to meet some puppies in Caldwell. We were offered two for a good deal. We were told they had their shots but needed round two on Sept 1st. But we brought home one. Kelsea liked the super active one. I was looking at the calm one thinking how much easier it would be to handle a calm one. But we left with Kelsea's choice and he was adorable. I almost wanted to turn around and go back for the other one. But we didn't. So the first puppy Kelsea named Dobby after the house elf in Harry Potter.

Dobby is a bouncy happy little guy. Full of energy. But Kelsea felt bad that I didn't get the other dog. She and my mom got together and Kelsea came home the next night with Yoda. Dobby was having some issues being alone. He seemed a little depressed that night until Kelsea walked in with his brother and he got real excited.

Yoda is really reserved and shy but what we soon found out was that he was getting sick. They ate a bunch of food that night before bed. Sometimes when puppies start eating new food they can get diarrhea. So I wasn't sure if that was what was wrong and if that was why Yoda threw up twice that night. Yoda the next day was looking for love and wanted to be held. I am not sure why but I was worried all day that something more was wrong. I talked to a couple of vets offices to get their input. It was either adjusting to new food and stress or they mentioned Parvo and I had read about it already and didn't want it to be that. They told me how expensive it could be to treat that and we should give the dog back. The people we got him from would not be able to take care of him, I knew. I was hoping it was stress. But that next night he started throwing up at 3 and didn't stop. He looked bad. I called the vet as soon as they opened. I brought the dogs. They didn't want the dogs to come out of the car. They tested Yoda and he was strong positive for Parvo. I had hoped so badly it wasn't that. The said he would be best to be treated in the vet hospital and they told me it could be $800 or more for just him. Who can do that? They brought up putting him to sleep. I really couldn't do that this close to when we lost Buddy. It was tearing my heart out what to do. (I am a ridiculous animal lover as well as thinking of my kids broken hearts as well as my own) The vet tech said he looked bad. With Parvo it's only a 50/50 chance they give you and Yoda was in bad shape. They gave me another option and that was giving the pups fluids under their skin. I would come in the morning and they would give them meds and fluids and there was no way to know how long it would take. The dogs needed to be quarantined in my house. Everything blanket or towel they touched would need to be bleached. The house would need to be bleached. Where they had pooped would have to be fenced off until the dogs got their shots. We would have to be extra careful entering and exiting that space where they were quarantined. The dogs couldn't be with each other either. Needless to say, after the three rough nights I had with seminary driving at 6am each day I was already exhausted but I did everything I was told. I didn't think Yoda improved much that day but I had to take him back that afternoon before they closed to get him and another antinausea shot. Then they found out they could give him a stronger antibiotic than the one they gave him that morning so they gave him that. The vet tech said she thought he looked better. So that gave me a boost. I had been in tears over the heartbreak of how serious it was and I wanted them to make it because it was already hard to ease the pain from Buddy. Dobby had been getting sick but he was caught super early so he felt like he was being tortured by having to be locked up in a room alone all day. Kelsea came home that night. She spent hours alone with Dobby and slept him that night. They were quarantined in her room. All Yoda did was sleep. The next day, more fluids under the dogs skin around their necks. Yoda did not throw up. That night I was told to try offering a little water to him and if that stayed down after several times he could have a little food. I tried to offer him water and he wanted more at first and then later I had to dropper him some water because he wouldn't take it. Then I tried to offer him food. He wouldn't take it either so I mixed it with some water and droppered that into his mouth. If he didn't take some food soon it wouldn't be good for him either but it needed to stay down. I made the mistake of leaving water in his pen that night so he had too much and threw up. I was upset over my mistake and hoped it wasn't a setback. But Dobby was not needing to go back to the vet because he was doing great but he didn't have the all clear to be released from quarantine. That was hardest for him. Day number 3 I only bring in Yoda. I don't think he is doing much better but he pooped all over his carrier on the way to the vet. She thought it didn't look too bad. She said she was amazed at Yoda how he was recovering and they were happy to see he was improving and that they didn't expect to see that but they knew I was doing everything they asked. So he needed to eat food and not throw up and stop having diarrhea and he wouldn't need to come back.

Yoda in quarantine on Day 3.

I couldn't get him to eat the food they gave me. He just sat where I put him on the counter and he wasn't interested at all so I kept giving him dropperfulls determined to help him get better. My third time that day feeding him, he left where I put him on the blanket on the counter in the kitchen. He was looking for something. He went to the bowl where I had the puppy food he had eaten the first night at our house. It was in water soaking for Dobby. He wanted that food. I gave him some and he ate it on his own! Every half hour I offered him more and more. I left Kelsea with Hannah and the puppies so I could run to Costco that afternoon. Kelsea texted me and told me that Yoda was barking! I nearly started to cry in the store. He was looking for attention finally! So we kept doing what we were doing. That night he kept getting better but he hadn't pooped yet and that would tell us if he needed to go back to the vet. This morning-Day 4 all indications is that he had recovered from Parvo and didn't need to go back. Today we have finally gotten to know out little guys. They have been played with, crate trained, some house training and loved a bunch. Yoda is little more dachsund looking. He is shorter than Dobby. Yoda still tires easily but also still has a very reserved. cautious and shy nature about him. But he loves to sit in your lap or cuddle on under your chin or on your shoulder. Dobby doesn't look like chihuahua or dachsund. He looks a little like a miniature beagle only brown and white. Dobby plays fetch and tug of war, and can squeak his squeaker toy and is quite the entertainer. He sleeps in the funniest positions and loves to snuggle up to people when he sleeps. Now we get to find out what Chiweenies are all about. But I never want to deal with Parvo ever again.

Sidenote-I totally offended the cat with our new additions and Spot is totally put out by her tiny little yard right now outside the pet door. Yesterday she wanted to play with Dobby. Today she is not sure what she thinks.

Reception pics

2011-08-13T01:24:00.006-06:00

These are Devanie's reception pictures. Read the post below this one that tells about all this.

Guest book with toss bouquet. Part of my gazebo with the picture on it. The gift table with the paper flowers behind it.

I had a display table. Ryan made this fantastic lego Twin Falls temple. The goblets with lemon, gel beads and lights inside. My computer crashed so I couldn't lable the stuff I put here but I brought Amber's first white dress. One of the great flower arrangments. The wavy frames have pictures of Amber and Ryan on the day they got engaged.

All of us at the arbor with the lamposts. I never got to watch the slide show Ryan's mom made. The center of the gym with park benches and lamp post in the center. You can see the ceiling.

Not sure why these two pictures are so much smaller.

The dessert table. And the small square centerpieces with lemons inside. All the yellow tables had these and the gray tables had the larger flower arrangements.

To see more pictures that the photographer took of Amber and Ryan go to:

http://www.katejenningsphotography.blogspot.com/

Keeping a promise..Wedding

2011-08-13T00:05:00.005-06:00

I promised a couple posts back that the next post would be happy but I broke the promise with the post before this. So here is the promised happy post. Blogger is barely pulling these pictures up and it is taking forever. So I can't post as many pictures as I would like to. It will take hours.

Amber and Ryan finally had their big day. Well they were super happy. I was bit of a basket case at times. Amber, Kelsea and I went to Twin Falls Thursday night and had a nice time together. Lee Joe had to wait for Kylee and Autumn to get home from girls camp and he came Friday along with everyone else. I enjoyed my two oldest girls hanging out together. We laughed at Kelsea's goofiness. And they were the silly sisters they have always been together. Amber put her dress on and we tried to figure out how they bustled her dress. I think the gal forgot to finish it or something. We watched youtube videos on how to bustle a dress but Amber's dress only had stuff on one side. So it wasn't going to work. Kelsea did Amber's hair and make-up the next morning and then we all went to the Twin Falls temple. You know, our family always makes for great drama. Lee Joe's recommend had expired. He didn't realize that until he was headed home. So as soon as he got back he had to chase people down to get his stuff taken care of. He almost had to drive in the mountains up to girls camp but lucked out because one of the people we needed came home from camp early. So that bit of stress was set aside. But at the temple we were waiting for Lee Joe's mom and dad and uncle to show up. They finally got there and we found out his mom and dad ran out of gas on the way there. But they had past their exit by 20 miles and were headed back when it happened. Lee Joe's uncle had gas on his truck and was coming the direction they were headed so they were lucky. The Other uncle we were waiting for didn't make it. His wife brought him the wrong pants since he had been working so he didn't come in. We were all there for the temple ceremony finally. I didn't have family but I had my great friend Mindy who came to be my person and support. I can tell you, I may not have expressed it well enough but her presence meant so much and helped me cope. What was wonderful was how happy both Amber and Ryan were the whole time. I don't think I have ever seen my daughter so happy.

I love these people. I have gained a son. He has called me mom a few times and it sure makes me smile.

Our friends are starting a new flower business together. This was beautiful. When I saw it, they had pretty beads and things on the flowers and it just added to the fantastic look of her bouquet. The flowers had been sent to wrong place and they got the flowers later than they had hoped. But you couldn't tell with how it turned out that they had been rushed.

So I had hoped to have all these great reception pictures. I failed, my sister in law succeeded a bit more than I did. A great friend from our ward was a huge help. They kept reassuring me all was well and calmed me down. There was tulle hanging from a circle at the center of the gym ceiling with icicle lights. There were lamposts and park benches and tulle hanging from the walls. There were lemons in some of the flower arrangements and in other decor. We stood in front of a beautiful arbor that had lights around it. I reused our gazebo corners. I spray painted them black and hung tulle in the back of them and had some pictures hanging from the front of them. The biggest job was getting the creases out of 64 chair covers and the thing that went wrong was that the AC stopped working in the gym. We had to open the overflow doors to get cool air from the chapel to circulate in the gym. I had three wonderful friends show up and manage the food and lemonade bar. I suppose with how hard it was for me and my poor little brain to cope, it all went well. The gym looked as I had imagined it would. I loved that the most. There was high praise for the reception. Before we had it close to being set up, I was given compliments. One lady asked if a wedding planner was setting it up and I said no. She said her son took pictures for a bridal magazine and she thought it looked wonderful. I had another lady say she had hired a wedding planner for her daughters wedding and she liked what we did. Another friend said later that she had been to many receptions and ours was by far the best she had been to. One of the friends that was helping with the food said when she saw it that it almost brought tears to her eyes and gave her chills. She thought it was beautiful. Ryan's grandma use to plan receptions and she gave the reception high praise. She may have been part of the reason I was in overdrive over it all. I am so glad it was well recieved. I am so glad it's over. I hope I don't have to do another one anytime soon. No, I don't want to be a wedding planner. I have just said that I wish I was a happy party planner. I would be nice if I could enjoy it more. But really, a week later, I just need more sleep. I am still trying to put 280 yards of tulle away and half of the 64 chair covers are waiting to get through the wash. Now where I am going to store all this stuff? I have 4 more daughters to marry off. But I am counting on a nice long stretch between weddings.

I quit

2011-08-11T23:56:00.003-06:00

First of all, I quit trying to post a picture of Buddy for one. It wouldn't post so sorry for the boring word blogs with no pictures and it would have been even sadder to see. I picked up his ashes today. They are in the family where he was trained to stay. I do OK and then I feel sad again and the room is not the same. (update-posting the picture finally worked, editing this post here would make this post not work)
I am grieving still, for everything it seems. I know I am not alone but I feel very alone right now. Life is really beating me up all at once. It' so funny, I am bewildered by my sad emotions and then I review it all and the list gets longer and longer and I reminding myself that there are a lot of good reasons to be sad right now so I try to let myself feel sad instead of trying to put it away.

I quit my job. I needed too. It was for so many reasons. I love kids, I love quotes from kids, I love teasing them too. I work with some really fantastic people. But it was time. I need to take care of me. Because nobody else will do it for me. I still don't feel well and it all comes back to stress. According to doctors, I am allergic to everything that's green and have something going on in the vertebrae in my neck and ridiculous migraines but other than that nothing else they can find. So it's stress and most illnesses are triggered by that anyway. I am sad about leaving and so relieved at the same time. I don't want to play frogger with cars anymore and stand out in the rain and snow all winter long. But I did tell them I would sub. So I won't be gone forever.

Wedding post to come. I just need to be able to post pictures. Amber was beautiful.

I'm sorry, I am sad. This is super sad.

2011-08-07T17:17:00.006-06:00

I posted last summer that I thought our dog might not be with us much longer. He did make it another year. Our dog Buddy became part of our family 12 years ago. We rescued him from the pound. He's 13 or 14 years old and a rather large dog. The past six months he has been in decline. July 4th he must have had a stroke or something. He never pees in the house but he did that day and couldn't get up for 24 hours. I wasn't sure what to do but when he has been bad it will usually pass. It took until later the next day though before he got up. Talking with Lee Joe, he wanted to wait until he was home before we did anything unless he went on his own naturally. I wasn't sure he could make it that long. But Buddy rebounded enough and we dealt with his issues. Then almost as soon as Lee Joe came home, the dog was unable to get up without a lot of help. He wouldn't even eat or drink, until we gave it to him.
We have had a short time with Lee Joe this week. Kylee and Autumn were at camp until Amber's wedding (a happier post to come) so we didn't want to do it until the girls were all home and we didn't want to do it before the wedding. So it was today. Lee Joe goes to North Dakota tomorrow. It was hanging over us while we prepared for the wedding. After much debate on how to deal with this we figured out what we do, we told the girls it was time. It was hard for us all. The two youngest have never known what it was like to not have Buddy around. Hannah wants him to live forever and everything to live forever. She has also had the hardest time with Lee Joe's absence. She has cried off and on all week as we have tried to prepare her for what needed to be done. Lee Joe struggled with admitting it was time. But I couldn't take care of it on my own. He finally admitted Buddy's quality of life was gone. I finally figured out what the dogs biggest problem is. I suspected it was the case, but he was suffering from dog dementia.

Be warned, the rest of this is the painful story of our goodbye.

We have no van so getting him to the vet was a dilemma but Amber's Eclipse has a hatchback. So we put his bed there and Lee Joe and I lifted the seventy pound dog into the back and he settled comfortably. The youngest three sat around him and Kelsea rode with her dad and the dog in the front and I followed in the car with our other dog Spot. I felt she should be there. They have always been together she needed to be there too. Amber left on her honeymoon but she knew what we had to do. We had talked to vet ahead of time. Lee Joe didn't like him being in a sterile room scared so I had talked to the vet about how to handle it. Buddy had walked around outside some. Lee Joe put his bed in the grass and Buddy laid down there. We are all crying. The three youngest made bouquets of flowers from Amber's wedding for him. So he was outside on his bed with flowers all around him and we were all in tears. Quite a sight for everyone that saw us there. They got him ready outside. We had then we had to wait for the vet to take care of poor cat that came that was badly injured. So we had more time to pet him and cry some more. Finally he was able to come out. He explained what we were about to see happen and needless to say, when it did happen it was hard. They let us have our time with him and then once they got ready to bring him inside we even had the one of the vet techs in tears. I am not sure if that family lost their cat or if they had watched us outside but they were crying too when they came out the doors. I really wish he could have gone on his own, that we didn't have to make that decision for him. Man, it hurts.

I will share the sad about the wedding so I don't have to post it with all the happy and good parts of it. I am sad when I realize that when I talk about MY family and MY genepool that could share in the event is my husband and my children, then my mom came to the reception and my niece and that was all the family I had. I am sad that my daughter is going to depend on someone else now. I have always realized how much my children mean to me and now I will have to share her with her husband and his family now. She has removed herself from me quite a but through the planning process of her wedding. I already miss her. I am sad that the photographer didn't get pictures of even Lee Joe's family that came to Amber's wedding. She was too wrapped up in getting pictures of Ryan's family. I am sad that my husband is leaving tomorrow morning and I haven't had any time with him to just be with him without all the chaos. I miss Kelsea too since she is living with my mom and am sad that the photographer took away her moment to give her sister her bouquet at the temple and broke her heart. I probably feel all the event emotional letdown combined with several significant losses in my life all at once and it feels unbearable right this minute. Not to mention the monster migraine that I can't find relief from and my inability to sleep for the past few days. So I will end this tale of misery. The next post will be happy. I promise.

Stressing out.

2011-07-24T15:18:00.002-06:00

I remember my wedding was stressful. But it was more because there were more details to make decisions about that really didn't matter to me. My mother in law drug me around telling me all the things I needed to decide. I didn't care that much about what cups and napkins and plates we had but I picked some out. I didn't need fancy invitations, but I picked one out. I would have loved to have done the things we can do now with invitations. Lee Joe and I didn't have engagement pictures and having a reception in the backyard of the house I lived in at the time was fine with me. I also didn't need anything fancy to stand behind me when we had pictures taken at the reception. I liked the pictures at the temple just fine. My mom took care of ordering the cake. She was really disappointed with how it turned out but I remember the cake was really good. I never dreamed about when I got married or what I wanted that to be like. I am not sure why. I just always played house and had lots of "kids" with all our various dolls. I always had to have a boy doll at least. Well I didn't get a boy baby in real life. I did get married. I was fine with all of that. My sister was the same when she married her husband on our anniversary. She was way more low key than even I was. They went to the court house and was married by the justice of the peace. My family was there and mom was there and then we went to Olive Garden and it was done.
So here I am now putting on quite the production number. There is a grandma on his side that had put on receptions for years. But I am in charge of the big grand party-the reception. I have big plans that have engineering things to hang from the ceiling and trying to transform a gym to look like something else. Like a tent in a park under the stars. So far all the funny little things I have worried about have been perfect. Chair covers to fit the church chairs. I am renting table cloths from a friend that are exactly what I needed and she has the right amount. I had to dye two dresses for my girls and they turned out to be just right with the white ribbon staying white. It is all coming together. Now I am just starting to worry about the stuff I have no control over. "What if no one shows up?" I know His family will and I know a couple members of our families are coming to the wedding. The shower Kelsea is throwing for Amber is worrying me even more. I am telling myself all is fine. It's hard to calm myself down. ( Just in case you didn't know- I seriously have a bunch of anxiety disorders. I am not even kidding. Social anxiety is the worst one. If I had list of other anxiety disorders I could tell you the rest. )

Here is something good to come of this. So Amber had a boy on a mission she was waiting- for sort of. I have been friends with his mom. There were so many things that happened before he left on his mission that really there was a big unknown as to where those two really were. They were told to break-up and they did. They were told not to communicate at times and they stopped and everything they were told to do, they did. It was not by me. So when Amber met Ryan and things started to progress I wondered where things would go. The boy on the mission's mom started to catch what was happening and then I found out she really did want Amber to be there when her son came home and she had plans. They were wedding plans. I was floored. I see this mom regularly where I work. When the engagement did happen, the mom was devastated. She was aware of what was going on, we had talked about where it was headed but she was angry and hurt and was upset at Amber and at me. Everyone started to hear how upset she was at Amber. I kept hearing stories of how this was carrying on. I was distressed. I was happy for my daughter but this was difficult. My boss said when I told him how upset she was "Consider that a compliment." I was taken aback wondering what he meant and then I thought about it some more and it made sense. I had more decisions to make on how to handle this. I would give her so much power if I let all her carrying on get to me. I thought about conversations to have and things to say because I was worried what people would think. But the feedback I got was positive from everyone. Then I realized that people knew me well enough and knew Amber well enough that there would be no harm done in the end. That was hard to sit back and wait it out. Whenever I saw my angry friend, I did my best to be as kind as I am and not let it consume me-it still did all the time but there was much less effect if I hadn't had the better perspective. That was my decision, to let her part play out and I would have a daughter that is getting married to the person she was meant to marry.
Since school is out we have had several weeks now to have some space from this friend. Last night I knew I would see her again at a big bar b q. I was so worried about going, not sure of where she was with this whole thing. She did get an invitation to the wedding. We have looked past the slights knowing(hoping) that it would pass. I didn't know when it would. So I calmed myself down, went to the thing with Amber and Ryan and the first person that greeted us was her. And she offered me hug! She shook Ryan's hand happy to meet him and she came and talked to me several times with interest of our wedding planning. It is such a relief! The one thing I am so glad about as difficult as this was, was that I didn't compromise myself . I know she didn't handle the engagement news well and as the principal told me "take it as a compliment." I stayed kind and I do not have any regrets on how I handled any of this. I just hope I can be as wise in the future. There are still four more daughters to marry off.
And geez people- I know you are out are there reading my stuff, even if I don't know you, you can comment.

Summer Fun

2011-07-17T23:09:00.005-06:00

I have been trying to make sure the girls get to have a summer in between the all the running for wedding stuff. The wedding has taken over my life and there isn't much time left. But a few weeks ago we had coupons to go to Wahooz so the three youngest and I had a great time.

We came home and this is what the kids looked like after miniature golf.

One of the girls put these googly eyes over their eyes when we got home. We had a great laugh over it.

I had my first nightmare over the wedding reception. I dreamt that people started coming and I didn't have everything set up, then I realized I wasn't dressed, Kelsea and Kylee's dresses were still white and hadn't been dyed yet. I didn't know where Amber and Ryan were and there was a strange Christmas themed musical number for the ring ceremony. It was strange and one of those dreams where you wake up with a ton of anxiety and then you are super relieved that it wasn't real. But the anxiety still lingers. Of course I have anxiety of this over some duration at least a few times every day.

I wish I was a happy party planner. I think it will all be fine and will try to remember that whatever doesn't go well, well that is just a given for weddings. I won't sweat it but I would like to make sure I did the best job I could.

Empty Nest

2011-06-26T22:20:00.005-06:00

In this picture is a nest in my lilac tree. Just below the dead lilac flower you can the beak and head of the baby bird.

We discovered the nest in the lilac outside my bedroom window weeks ago. We though maybe the babies had already been raised and left. But it has been so cool so far this summer that we were excited to find 3 babies. We watched the ma and pa bird take turns feeding them from our window. It was quite a site. Last Saturday I woke up to the most incredible noise. They would call for there parents and then they would squabble with each other and then a parent would show up with a worm and they would all freak out. There was the strong bird that sat on top of it's siblings, the reason for the squabbling. Then it was on the edge of the nest flapping it's wings getting ready to fly. One time he fell out of the nest but didn't fall far and got himself up in the nest. So in my mind because he was the dominate bully bird I called him a he. The other two were girls. Just because that's what I decided. They were squabbling and Hannah came out and thought something happened and it was funny watching them all get still and quiet until a parent came back. That night we had a rainstorm and we watched them in the rain. The next morning it was way to quiet. They were gone, sort of. I listened for the parents, they didn't come. But I heard one of them call nearby. I knew one was close to flying but I wasn't sure about the other two. We hunted outside after church. I found one on the patio. He wasn't flying from me but running. I tried to get it to back towards the nest. It flew up to the broken gazebo. That was the he bird. I hoped he might fly back to the nest and shocked me when he flew to the neighbors house. We have had to watch the cat by the way. She has brought in more fledglings than we have cared to have to rescue. So we found bird number two in the garden. But she couldn't fly but she could run from us. We found bird number three stuck between two boards in the garden calling for it's parents. We didn't think it was ready to go yet. So once it was pulled out it was put in it's nest and so was number 2. Number 2 called on the from the branches. Bird 3 was in the nest and bird one had sat on the peak of the neighbors house and then was gone. Later they were both out of the nest. The parents never came back. I couldn't find 2 but three was on the ground calling. I thought she was up higher. I might have stepped on her, I am not sure but she already wasn't mobile enough anyway. We put her in a container hoping to take her to the rescue place in the morning. I heard bird two outside Amber's window in the front. This is where I found her.

We let this one be. And soon it was gone.

But within hours of putting this one in the bucket, when checked on, it was on it's side close to death. Lee Joe tried to help but there wasn't anything left to do. It was the weak one. It was the one in the bottom of the nest and I guess when they decide they are to leave they all leave at once ready or not. Nature took it's course-science calls it natural selection. The little thing died in my hand wrapped in washrag. That was the only thing left to do. I learned something when I was looking up what to do. Many times birds do leave the nest before they can fly and spend a few days on the ground. That explains why the cat brings so many in. Also why these three did what they did. I didn't know that before. I love the internet for learning things like that.

I have contemplated this empty nest thing. Last summer was overwhelming. I had 6 girls coming and going trying to moniter and keep on the right track and make summer memories with that we couldn't do the summer before. Making sure they got along. This summer is dramatically different. I thought the changes were coming in August. Amber getting married and Kelsea going to college. But it's all happening now. Lee Joe is in North Dakota until the wedding in August. Amber went on a trip with Ryan's family to Yellowstone and South Dakota for a week. She is always gone when she has been home. She is always busy and gone and somewhat grumpy. She starts a new job that will be full time the rest of the summer doing research at BSU. Not very many under grads get in so it is great she got that job but she doesn't know if she has to sacrifice marching band to do it. I will be sad if that happens.
Kelsea moved in with her grandma so she has someone there with her. Kelsea is feeling the "I am 18 and I want freedom." And she is not going to Uof I by the way but going to CWI (new community college) instead to get some classes out of the way and make her decision of what to do when she is ready. Good news she wants to stay close to home but she doesn't want to be home. For those two, they don't want to do anything family like. But I get up every morning and see her empty bed and her room still has almost everything in it. But I am feeling the loss and the pain of my little birds leaving me and unlike the robins, I am not shoving them out and running away. But at the same time I am ready for them to be independent (they don't want to do a thing around here anymore). I guess it's worse because I am without a spouse as well. The younger three want new rooms and are itching for them to go.
So I am learning what that empty nest thing is all about. I have enjoyed my kids so much that it is painful that it is happening. I feel like we have missed out on some important family time since the past two summers have been financially painful there have been no trips. But at the same time certain things get easier and so with that I am finding it easier to let go. I am doing less laundry. Food is lasting longer as well. We fit in a 5 passenger car now. All this means is that a new chapter in my life is about to begin.

Wedding anyone?

2011-06-16T22:47:00.002-06:00

I have thrown nice parties but always at the cost of my mental health. I need to plan the party of all parties-Amber's reception. It is difficult for to come up with ideas and when I come with good ones, Amber shoots them down. I persist a little and then she likes my ideas later-after the grief of having to start over again and then really I don't have to. Coming up with a menu is painful for me. I don't mind the decorating but I need a co-operative couple to work with me there.

I have dresses for the girls. Amber's colors are yellow and gray. I looked at every reasonably priced store around us around Easter to try and find Yellow dresses. Yellow is hard to find and when you find it the material is weird, the cut is wrong or it's too casually summer. Or it has no straps or little straps. But there were all these fantastic white summer dresses. SO many that would be perfect. So I found two perfect white dresses for Kelsea and Kylee. I need to try dying them (scarey) I will try it on other white cotton first. I found yellow dresses for the younger girls made out of the same type cotton fabric. They were perfect.

Me-not so much luck. I don't like short skirts. I look absolutely dreadful in yellow. I found a dress I hate, but will work and fits, today. It looks very 'mother of the bride'. It was less than twenty dollars. It is my "when all else fails" dress. Hopefully I will find something in July when the winter stuff comes out. Something with a long skirt and in gray. I really don't want pictures in that dress but it is the best I can find. Maybe if I can lose twenty pounds in 2 months I will look much better. But I think I have to actually try to achieve that and I haven't started trying hard enough yet. I am stress eater and am doing plenty of that.

Pictures

2011-06-09T23:04:00.004-06:00

To summarize with Pictures

This one is getting married. They are so cute. We are so happy. And stressed. Wedding in August.

This one made it to State for tennis. She played mixed doubles. She didn't place. But she was given the title of Miss Tennis for the senior class.

Then she graduated!! She is headed for the University of Idaho. It's up in Northern Idaho in case you didn't know. I still haven't been there. She leaves in August, the week after Amber.

This one is waiting to get her Perfect Attendance award at her assembly. Her youngest sister earned that award too and then they missed the second to last day of school for Grandma Leavitt's funeral. :(

But they got to keep their award.

This one earned a 3 sport award and a hardest working reader award. She has worked hard. I was pretty worn out myself watching her. She made it to city in track and then went right into volleyball to finish the year.

This was the beginning of our last Hurrah. Taking a spontaneous trip to Utah to go to Lagoon. The last time we were all together as a family on a family trip. It later became the last time we would travel in our van.

I will sincerely miss road trips all together in one car. My favorite memories are traveling all together listening to them act goofy and entertain each other in between the squabbles.

But we did make it to Lagoon without the van. Hannah was "So flippin excited!!" She adores her cousin Sierra.

I am trying to get over my aversion to taking pictures of myself. I am sure my kids would like to remember me someday. Now, Lee Joe has officially left for North Dakota to work like a crazy man. He will be back next week but will be busy and back again for the wedding in August. We are about to celebrate 21 years together but it is looking more like we will just have to remember it has been that long because we won't be together to celebrate it.

And since this has become a blog of changes and departures. Here is the goodbye to our van. I can't say it was always loyal- dumping the transmission twice with terrible timing and in the middle of nowhere both times. I can't say it was dependable either since it pick and chose when it would let it's left blinker work, which was mostly not. Only one window rolled down and the headlights only worked on bright, but that's OK because nobody could tell they were on bright because they were so dim. But we had many great memories travelling across the country in it. It was great for bringing home bikes and stuff for the house. It was the car I picked and enjoyed driving after years of cars I disliked very much. I am sad it has a new home now with a man who will bring her back to life but not in my care.

We has just been talking that with the coming changes that we could downsize to a car. It came a little sooner than we expected. We had to frantically find a car in less than a week. We found it. Now I need to take a picture of what I am driving now. It's a 5 passenger car. I did get to pick this car. So it's not too bad. I have a 2002 Mazda 626. Picture coming soon.

So come August, Lee Joe will come home long enough to see his daughter marry-we will gain a son.

She will move out, he will leave again. The next week I take Kelsea to college. Our family of seven will be a family of 4 for awhile. I had a feeling I could loose both of those girls at the same time. The time has come. I am prepared. We have one bathroom we share for showering, believe me we are all ready. The 3 youngest will all have their own room. I will have a 9th, 8th and 4th grader with 2 in college and a son in law. It has all happened way too fast.

What happened?

2011-05-31T19:01:00.002-06:00

I do like to blog. You probably thought I gave up. But this time of year is so busy there is no time for anything. This is the first evening I have had without something on it in weeks. I am feeling exhaustion. Life has been nuts with good news and some super stress moments. The stress moments seem to last weeks. You wondered where I went and well, so did I. So I will organize my thoughts and I will probably get back on this blog thing next week because, well, here is this weeks run down-My van lost it's transmission for the second time since we have owned it. We were having our last family Hurrah to Lagoon. We have not been anywhere in literally years to have fun together and almost came to a halt this weekend. We were past Twin Falls going to Utah when there was no warning, no noise it just stopped going 75 miles an hour. At 10:45 our family of seven was on the side of the road. Pondering what to do and feeling this might be the beginning of a long and miserable night,we called the closest family member that lives around Twin Falls. Jared figured it all out "You are doing what? GOing to Lagoon with the family and you will be coming home when? tomorrow night? Here, I will bring you my Durango and you guys can go to Lagoon and do you have towing on your insurance? My friend here can figure this out." By midnight we were loading up in a Durango with all our stuff and on the road to Lagoon. Jared stayed to get our van off the freeway and we would worry about it later. We were exhausted after our long night. But a quote from Hannah on her way to the entrance. "I am SO FLIPPIN EXCITED!!" The nine year old with no fear road roller coaster after roller coaster. She rode the rocket launcher with all her sisters but did not like the Samurai. I did enjoy the fun moments how my five girls entertain each other in the car and keep us laughing on the way there before the breakdown and then it all resumed again once we were on the road. Devanie takes great care of us as well when we stay at her house. We love visits there. Now we are trying to take care of the van problem. We could enter into car ownership. With just the 3 girls at home this next year and the other two doing their own thing. But it means an end to the time I treasure, which we have not had enough of, and that is time in the car with all my children at once.
Sadly Lee Joe's grandma passed away last week. She was one special lady. She will be missed. Her funeral is this week. We are trying to figure out how to get me a car, sell 3 vehicles we own to help that cause, figure out how the two jr high girls will take 3 finals so they can miss a day of school and if it's possible to get the recent grad to her tennis party-she made it to state and missed her last day of school and the senior celebration because of it. As well as we need to get Lee Joe ready to go to North Dakota for five months. He is suppose to leave Saturday. I am done with work at the end of this week. So this week is super stressful. It will work out I am sure. It always does. But I was already exhausted before all this took place. Next week I will probably be sleeping all week to recover. Some people thrive under pressure. I do not function well in high stress mode. I am just telling you what happened since Friday. There is so much more to share and tons of pictures.

Power

2011-04-15T23:20:00.002-06:00

This is on my mind today. I am trying to put my thoughts into words to share. I am struggling to say how I feel. I am dealing with a situation where someone I know is mad at me for reasons only they can justify. I didn't do anything. I have been upset and distressed until I realize I give this person too much power in my life. Especially since there isn't anything I did. So when I thought about it and realized I could choose whether to give her the power to upset me. Or I could choose to take that power back to myself and know there was no wrong doing done by me and let them have their unhappiness, it brought me so much peace and I settled down. But I have had to tell myself that a few times to find that peace again because there has been several days of minor drama. People only have the power in our lives that we give them. I can let this person upset me because they are unhappy or I can choose let them be unhappy and I can move on because their unhappiness is not my problem to fix. That led me to also realize that I need to feel my feelings more sometimes rather than trying to feel everyone elses. I know that is what makes me the person that I am with a tender heart and full of empathy. Why I save mice and fledling birds and mother 500+ kids everyday. But sometimes I have to let myself feel what I feel. I don't need to justify my feelings or answer to anyone how I feel. And that self is happy right now while this other person is not. Needless to say, we don't need these kind of people to take our energy from us. They don't need to waste our time consuming our thoughts. Because letting it go brings so much peace. There is a lot of personal power in that. What I feel is so big and I still don't feel the hugeness of what I am trying to say is coming out right here. I guess my blog readers will have to come out and tell me if you get what I am trying to say. I will leave it at that since in my last mouse blog, I was going to wait to blog more and my next blog will shed some light on what is going on.

Mousecapades

2011-04-15T22:34:00.003-06:00

I don't what it is with us. I am telling you that we have some ridiculous mouse stories. I have lots of news to share other than this. But this is good. I must share. We have a cat. She is the coolest cat ever-Until she brings creatures home and lets them loose in our home. Our home is home enough to enough creatures. She has brought in so many fledgling birds that after the 3rd that I had to take to the bird rescue place, I thought I should start giving them monetary donations since we keep them busy. It's one thing to take a bird in a box to the bird rescue place way down to the middle of nowhere. That is the easy part. But that bird didn't just jump in the box because we asked it to. Socks likes to find mice. She brings them in as playthings then gets bored and lets them go. They aren't dead yet! It is a family effort with cool whip bowls as we try to capture the scurrying little things that we didn't invite in the house. But there was one that met it's death by the accidental stomping under Amber's shoe. She taught that mouse a lesson about crawling up human legs. Oh wait, it won't remember because it died instantly. Then there was the cute baby mouse that was too cute and little that it was captured and put into a hamster cage as a pet for time until it died from some sort of health issue. So now you know how silly we are with uninvited creatures into our home, I will tell you my current story. Lee Joe is in his Semi these days more than our cars. As a result we have two cars that get him home. Our KIA is spending a lot of lonely days that has become weeks out in Grand View. But where he parks it is in a fenced area in the middle of a field. The car wasn't that lonely when he got home a few weeks ago. He found several mice. As he was chasing the mice out of his car he found a nest, with 4 babies. This is the man that takes some of the mice brought home by our cat and kills them by means I will not share. I will keep this blog G rated. So yes, this manly man found 4 uninvited baby mice with their uninvited mama in his car. Mama was hiding under the car somewhere and since he couldn't get her and reunite her with her babies and put them elsewhere, they came home with him in the car. Then he let mama find her way back to her babies and then he got the hamster cage we had and put them inside. He brought them inside to rest on our fireplace covered by his jacket. I was surprised to hear we had new visitors. Because he covered them with his coat I also kind of forgot they were there. I had checked on them once. But then I was cleaning house over spring break and I took the jacket off and I look at the cage and the plastic lid has a hole in it. 'Was that there before?' I ask myself. I don't know. Did she chew her way out? I hope not. It wasn't even an hour later when Hannah says "Mom, I think there's a mouse under the stove or it's a dust bunny. I can't tell." She's looking trying to figure it out. I just resign myself. Oh yes, mouse has escaped but I know she wants to find her babies and I don't want to hunt under the stove for her. Then I am near the front door and I see something move out from under the stove but it looks like part of a leaf is sitting on the floor in front of the stove. I just keep going along wishing Lee Joe was there to catch his mouse. Grumbling at what I am going to need to do to get mama to her babies. But I am not going to do it now either. Fifteen minutes later Autumn comes up the stairs and says " Mom! There's a mouse?" "Where?" "Under the bookshelf." OK, now it's time to catch this mouse. We hunt for bowls and I call all the girls I have home to come help me. We have a piece of posterboard, A handle to my swiffer and a couple of girls with bowl in their hands to try to catch her. Back and forth and she goes under the shelf, under the fish tank. So I try to pull the bookshelf out. I am hoping she doesn't totally run off. But a picture frame fell off and landed on the floor right where she was. We didn't know if it hit her. But she was beside it. She was probably deaf now because it was crazy loud. She was OK and not a super fast mouse. I think it took ten more minutes and we caught her. She was reunited with her babies and we put a larger variety of food in there. After that scare I think she realized she was safe and there were no more escapes. She is cute. Not a house mouse. I looked her up and she was a deer mouse. And then I read that they can give you a terrible illness. And I couldn't wait for her release. I couldn't change her nest bedding but it got REALLY smelly. So I was ready for their release. Everyone where I work thinks we are crazy. But the deer mice were released back into the wild last weekend. Lee Joe dug a hole and had a piece of wood to cover the hole for protection. He said he tried to slide them carefully out the cage but the mama kept trying to run back in. But they were stocked with seed in their new home and they are not in mine any more. So here is my blog on our silly mice drama. I will let this sit a couple days or at least till tomorrow before I share the really fantastic and drama filled news I am so excited to share. Many of you already know but I have to really "Talk" about here then just blurb on Facebook about it.

HA!!

2011-03-07T14:30:00.003-07:00

So you would think that since I have a new laptop that I would really get with it on posting a blog. I guess no such luck. I have yet to take a picture of my new little friend. I love my laptop. It is white with flowers. Super girly, which I have never really been. I can get it out of my system real quick with any one of my 5 girls. But anyways my next post will have pictures of the laptop on it.

I have a couple of quotes of the week for last week. So there are some kindergarteners I have been working on trying to get them to stop tackling and mauling each other on the playground. One little boy I have talked to over and over. The minute he hit the grass he tackled the boy that was closest to him. So I asked him "Why did you do that, we have talked about this over and over." very remorsefully he says "I lost my mind for a minute." That was a good one. Then a few minutes later there are more kindergarteners playing tag. Tag is fine but the rules are they need to play somewhere else other than on the equipment. I know, what a kill joy I have to be. So I ask them "Guys, where are you suppose to play tag?" Someone is "it" so I know it's tag but they tell me "We aren't playing tag. We are playing tomatoes." I see. "If you are playing a game where someone is it, you have to play it over there." Kids are funny. It's not tag if you just call it some other name. But someone is always "it" and the "it" is trying to make someone else "it". A bunch of the grades try this one. I have heard lots of new kinds of names for tag. But tomatoes, OK..... :) It really makes me laugh.

Kid updates--Kylee is playing basketball right now. She is on varsity but man there are some excellent players on her team. We were super happy for her the other day she made a 3 point shot and they were her first points of the season. Her team is amazing. They have beat every team they have played by at least 15 points or more. They just dominate. This is the last week and next week is tournament. Kylee had her honor band concert this weekend. Everybody went but me. I have this yucky bronchitis/pneumonia thing going on. It hit me hard and fast this time. Or maybe I just knew what I needed to do since I just had this crud in August, the first week of school. Either way, blah. Big news for Kylee-she can take drivers ed the beginning of April. "WHAT!!" Oh yeah. But when I look at the next school year I realize I lose my helpers. Both Amber and Kelsea may be gone.
Kelsea went to Portland with Orchestra this last weekend. She is about to get super busy. She just started tennis. There are two out of town trips with Tennis and then she is going to U of I for one of their Vandal weekend thingys. Kelsea got in to U of I. I am not sure if I mentioned that. She will be headed north when she goes to school. I am not sure how I feel about her being to far. Amber was a super easy adjustment going to BSU. Kelsea will be so far. Well, she wants to go and we will see if she likes it. She could always change her mind if she wants. Nothing is set in stone. Good life experience for her. She graduates in May-of my goodness. We need to get her senior pictures done. She will be 18 in just a few days. So I realize two of my birdies could fly away from the nest this year at about the same time.
Amber is looking at internships for the summer. Did I mentioned she just turned 20? I feel old. But she is still home right now. It is just weird. Autumn keeps telling her to move out. She wants her own room really bad. Amber is real involved in Band. She is in Kappa Kappa Psi fraternity. It's a band thing. She has been traveling a lot for that. She tried to get VP I think in the fraternity but she didn't get it so now she wants to try for treasurer and she wants to try our for drum major. She is getting ambitious. She has new boyfriend. He is a very nice young man with a lot in common with Amber. He is a return missionary and in his junior year at BSU. There is so much more cool stuff about him. We will see where this goes.
Autumn has changed a lot. My favorite saying about her lately is "She is so jr high." She is outgoing more than she has ever been, silly and sometimes just persistently annoying. But it is the age. She will be 13 the week after Kelsea's birthday. She is most excited to get onto Facebook and she WANTS HER OWN ROOM! She can't wait for her sisters to move out.
Hannah is her funny self. She has come up with comics with her friends and little parodies to songs. I should just start recording her. It's hilarious. She has several songs she has made up about bacon.
Lee Joe has been doing some over the road truck driving lately. That's better than being laid-off like he was for 2 and half weeks in Feb. But the good news about that is-unemployment. We can get that now. Couldn't get that when work dried up with his business. So things weren't too bad.
About my health, I am going to save that for another blog day. I have made some discoveries and have had some frustrations. Not many answers and have helped myself more than any doctor has helped me yet. I will leave it there for today.
As far as things in my house, keeping the attitude positive. I am ready for good things to come our way. They already are.

Just cause I am blogger happy...

2011-02-09T19:51:00.004-07:00

My last blogs have had a lot to do with some of these special people. It's time I just shared some pictures I took before Christmas. I hope I get many more opportunities to take pictures of all 5 together for years to come.

Finally-Some cute quotes

2011-02-09T18:55:00.004-07:00

I love funny quotes from kids. I haven't had very many here lately. But I have had 2 in two days. I have posted them on Facebook so they are repeats.

Amber had her birthday. The day after I tell a little first grade boy that knows her well that "Amber turned 20 yesterday. Isn't she so old?" He thinks and then in amazement he says "She's older that Harry Potter!!" He turns a little away from me and I hear "One two three." Really quiet and then he says "She's 3 years older than Harry Potter because he is 17." Harry Potter just came out of nowhere. I laughed about that one for awhile.

This morning Hannah was getting out of the car at the school and she says. "I know what my e-mail address is going to be when I get one." I say "What is that?" "It's going to be mold- capital E E cheese. Spelled chez." There was a pause. "@ Yahoo.com" I am glad she has that all figured out. But I am not sure that I would want to be known as MoldEEchez. What a goofy kid she is.

Brain issues and birthdays

2011-02-07T19:14:00.004-07:00

I really wanted my last post to be special and then I reread it at a decent time of day and went "Oh my gosh, I sound like an idiot." So I cleaned up that last post and few other things on my blog. My brain has issues sometimes.
Today is my oldest daughters birthday. It could be that my reall issue with my editing skills is that I am getting old. Because I AM almost 40 and My daughter did just turn 20!!! TWENTY!! I don't have 4 teenagers anymore. I am the mom of an adult, 3 teenagers and a way too smart 9 year old.

Amber is still my steadfast daughter. 2nd year at BSU. She still loves music, and is fun a quirky. I think she might be driving home with the first car she just bought herself. I think it's a Mitsubishi Eclipse. I don't know much in my old age do I? She's a great kid and we are lucky we have her. We are hoping that with her major in Materials Science Engineering and her minor in Biomedical engineering that if we don't succeed greatly in life that she will take great care of us.
I wanted to do a blog about my youngest when she turned 9 but it seems so after the fact to sit and find some reason to talk up my kid, but hey, it's my blog and a another one of those kids of mine that I am darn proud of. Yes, she is amazingly quirky. I asked her what kind of cake she wanted. She wanted flowers and butterflies on it. But if you asked her what she got, she got Lego Star Wars for the Wii and for the DSi and has played it more than any other game she has. She got a couple of Star Wars figures, a BSU football and a soccer ball-but it was from Justice so that was super cute and girly. She loves to be on the computer. She did beg me to start a blog. When she writes it has so much of her personality in it, it just makes you laugh. She is really sensitive and quite easygoing. But she is notorious for leaving a trail where ever she goes. She has a very short attention span with some things and is very easily distraction. Her most amazing accomplishment the other day was that she beat her dad at Chess. He was pretty surprised by it. She has a really high IQ. She has been learning the piano easily. She would love to play drums. She has been drawn to drums since she was 2. She has some skills at memorizing that blows me away. She is a fun kid and she is growing up way too fast.

For me, I have loved having my kids around. I love them when they are 8 and younger. I love all the little kid things you can do with them. And we have for the first time grown out of those things. And even more so because of Hannah's accelerated pace. But I enjoy those little moments where she picks up something with Strawberry Shortcake on it which has been a favorite of hers for a long time. I love taking her to build a bear. But with the last visit, it is a little less magical because she is self -conscious about looking silly. A big sign that she is feeling much more grown-up and a lot less carefree.
I suppose that means that with my oldest turning 20 that it is time to look forward to grandbabies. But I am in no hurry.

Memories of Grandma and the mall

2011-02-06T22:07:00.003-07:00

YouTube - Buckingham Square Mall Tribute Trailer

You might wonder why I have posted a YouTube link on my blog. I wish I could figure out how to put this on so you don't have to click this link and you could just watch this on my blog. But I was pretty upset here recently to find out in 2007 this mall was torn down. This mall is the reason I love malls. It sounds silly but I will tell you why. Looking at the video, the mall had not changed much from when it opened in 1971 that could be good reason why it didn't survive. Here is my nostalgia from my childhood.

I think it was in about 1976 that my mom, baby sister and I moved to my grandma's house in Aurora Colorado. My mom and had dad had divorced and this was mom's fresh start. The start was bumpy to say the least with two little girls and very little skills to go on. So it was a difficult time for mom. As she was getting on her feet and for the 6 years of the time we spent in Denver we were Buckingham Square almost as often as we were at my grandma's house. My Grandma worked in the Pant and Top shop. In the YouTube video it was in the last shot before the end. It was the store on the left next to the marble wall where Joslins was. We would go to see Grandma at work, or we would go with Grandma to work sometimes. I remember sitting in the back of the store and we would watch a little black and white television. We seem to spend endless amounts of time there, I was allowed when I was somewhat older to walk the mall on my own. I was about 5 when we moved there, so could you imagine these days letting your kids roam the mall at about 7? I was well behaved and very responsible. Outside Grandma's store there was a puppet show several times a year. I was at the mall so long some times that I got to watch several of his shows in one day. I was never allowed to go far when I was little.
My grandma and grandpa loved to take us out to eat and it was always at this mall. Number one on the list of places to go was Furrs cafeteria. We ate there so many times and grandma thought is was hilarious that Melissa and I would always get Macaroni and Cheese. Melissa would get jello for dessert and I would go between the pumpkin pie or the custard pie. But we never did vary from those choices much. Sometimes we would eat at the restaurant by Wal-greens and not very often we would go to the top floor of Joslins to the little restaurant they had there.
When I was left on my own with my sister I would walk through Wal-greens and look at the toys. Then I think there was a lingerie shop we would go into but we would ignore the lingerie and look at the dolls they had. I thought they were beautiful dolls with big hoop skirts and fancy hair. Many of them had music boxes on the bottom and the dolls would spin. I wanted one of these beautiful dolls so badly. I loved to go Baskin Robbins to get my very favorite Grape sherbet ice cream. I have yet to find a Baskin Robbins today that carries that ice cream. There was a burger place close to Grandma's store that I liked to go to. I remember eating in there. I was scared very easily when I was little and there was this big happy face that had this tongue that came out and licked it's lips. I remember it would happen every so often and it made a noise when it was about to start. I would run out of the restaurant when it would start and then I knew I had a few minutes before it started again. Eventually I got over my complete fear and just had a little anxiety but a total fascination with the happy face with the mechanical tongue. That place was there a long time but I think it became a pizza place later. Or maybe it had been the other way around. Either way that creepy smiley face stayed. I saw the Fox and the Hound for the first time at the movie theatre there and I think that was the first movie I went to by myself.
My mom had a couple of jobs at that mall too. She worked at Montgomery Ward for a time and then she worked in the office another time on weekends. So we did spend a lot of time there still.

The mall smelled like chlorine because of all the fountains and when I came back and visited years later some of them were filled in with plants. But what was always there was the bridge. When we were little we would beg to go down to the bridge and run right back and we would beg for coins to throw in the fountain around the bridge. Many, many wishes were made in the fountains in that mall. But the bridge was the best. We were the most entertained by that bridge.

I loved visiting all the malls in Denver during holidays. They had the cutest animatronic displays. I just loved all the moving creatures and I loved watching them more than I ever wanted to visit with Santa. Buckingham Square had a train always at Christmas and we had to ride that every year. I hated balloons after my mom accidentally popped one of mine in the mall. I love Swedish fish because I use to get them from the little candy store thing they had in the middle of Sears. So everytime we went in the Sears entrance to the mall I had to have some. I got my most favorite pair of shoes ever at the Hush Puppy shoe store and that was the best shoe store ever because you could climb up to this special carpeted area to look at shoes and watch their fish. I liked to play in that store more than I probably should have. I don't remember anyone ever saying an unkind thing to me.
The time we spent in Denver were challenging for my mom. We spent a lot of time with my grandparents and they did their best to make sure we were well taken care of. Because of the hours spent at Buckingham Square mall and another favorite mall of mine Cinderella City( that mall is also gone), I do enjoy the mall very much. It always makes me think of my grandma.
Right now I live 5 minutes away from the mall here. Everytime a store shuts down I feel sad and I mourn that store like the death of a friend. I don't have to spend money there but there is something retail does to me that brings me contentment in some silly way. I am sad that Mervyns is gone the most. I miss the Disney Store and the Marketplace gifts and several other stores I have liked very much. My grandma passed away a few years ago and to know that Buckingham square was gone and that I could never go back and revisit many hours of where much of my childhood was spent, made me very sad. It's not like I had plans to go back but I have lived in so many different places it was one constant, like grandma's house. When we vistied Denver a visit to grandma's wasn't complete unless we went there, to Buckingham Square.

Girls and Boys

2011-02-01T21:01:00.003-07:00

This is a funny story. I told a smidgen of it in my last post. My second daughter is somewhat impulsive. Over Christmas break Amber and Kelsea were driving on the freeway to do something I asked them to do. They happen to pass a van that was full of teenage boys. But Kelsea tells Amber to slow down so they can drive beside the van. Amber thinks it's funny. She does. Kelsea gives out her number to the car load of boys. Yes-I am shaking my head at my daughter-REALLY? So she starts texting the boys. They are from Nyssa Oregon and they are in town to watch the Humanitarian bowl. She keeps talking to the one that wants to get to know her. They both Have Facebook. She sees that he is REALLy into hunting. He even said he felt sorry for her because she lived in the city and she asked why and he said because you can't hunt or drive dirt bikes here. So she really doesn't mind not doing those things. So they get to know each other. He really likes her. She starts to get a little overwhelmed with how much he likes her. But he is LDS. He is 16. He is planning on going on mission and he is already talking a little about marriage. Yes dear, what do you expect when you give your number out to strangers on the freeway? So he really wants to meet her in person. He wants her to come out for his birthday. No. He tries to get his dad to bring him into town on a day they are off from school. Dad doesn't wake him up and leaves him behind. Then he wants Kelsea to go to his school dance. We aren't sure. I don't know. Then they talk some more. He doesn't really like to dance and neither does she. So they plan a date to the movie instead. In Nyssa. So we do let her go and they have a nice time. It was his first date but it was fun. Kelsea was nervous driving on the country roads out there. A conversation they had she said she was scared with how dark the roads were and if she was going to hit something. He tells her "you just hit it." Kelsea says "I can't hit it." "You have to just hit it." "But I can't" Yes we have raised some city girls. She says he is cute and tall. He is shy and funny. So she seems to think he is very nice. So I guess all strangers on the freeway aren't scary stalkers. Or maybe we just don't know it yet. :)

Life and such and such

2011-01-24T17:02:00.004-07:00

I tried when it come to blog posts. There has been so much and things I don't want to blog about yet. Other things I should blog about.
I made a comment the other day about feeling like a mother from a Jane Austen book. I hear about Amber's dating prospects. "Yes, that boy is suitable, But be careful with that one. DOn't lead him on if you really aren't interested. The other one you are waiting for, he shouldn't be talking about when he comes home already, he has only been gone 6 months. Lots of things can change." The world of Amber's future prospects interest me. And then there was the moment she had with Kellen Moore-the quarterback, Heisman candidate from the BSU football team. SHe spent a few minutes with him alone in an elevator. Amber!! You didn't say ANYTHING? Don't you realize the potential of even a date with that boy? She says he was not that good looking in person. I tell her "If it was your sister she would have had his number!" But that's all fun and silliness.
Amber did take a picture of him with her second encounter. Look! She was THAT close.

Then with Kelsea, Almost 18. One boy she had some conflicts with months ago. "Don't do anything with him." The missionary in Arizona-"When did you last write that boy?" And the boy she gave her number to on the freeway, he is totally in love with her even though she has never seen him in person, younger than her and talking about his mission. She's a little overwhelmed with the attention and he is talking about marriage. He lives in Nyssa Oregon. "That is why we don't give our phone numbers to strangers on the freeway." And then she was at dinner at PF Changs with her grandma and low and behold, who is sitting at the table next to hers and she has no clue. She texts me 'Kellen Moore is sitting right next to me' 'Did you say hi?' "No he's with a date.' 'How about making eye contact' 'He's too into his date and he just left.' Another opportunity slipped away. Geez these girls.
Then one that is a little too young has a boyfriend. EGADS!!! How come we can't lock them up until we are ready to let them go?

We have the Blue and Orange going on but Kelsea doesn't want to go that path. She has to make her own way. She has been accepted to University of Idaho. In Boise you get scowled at for being a Vandal. But the black and orange school has it's loyal followers. Someone told me I need to get a flag that says "This house is divided." Hannah made what I thought were rivalry brownies with blue and orange on one side and black and yellow sprinkles on the other. She said they were get along brownies. She is so funny. Just for the record, the blue and orange ones disappeared first.

The past few days I have had electrical shocks put through both my arms, blood drawn, x-rayed my hands and feet and will be getting an MRI on Thursday. I get to wear braces on both my hands at night. I feel like I ready to start boxing when I go to bed. I feel old and frustrated. I am not even 40. But I will hopefully have answers soon. But the direction they are headed now makes me worry a little. Could be a different diagnoses. We will see.
I am reading books by Wayne Dyer and the Secret's the Power both at the same time. The both said the same thing when I was reading last night. I have to make a serious attitude adjustment in my perspective of everything. It's doesn't come easy for me because of my crazy ability to worry about all things out of my control. Blech. I am working on it.

I know I have said this before but the soundtrack from "How to Train Your Dragon" Is the best ever!! I know that was random but that is what is blasting from Amber's room at the moment.

Train Ride

2011-01-09T19:53:00.003-07:00

Before Christmas Lee Joe and I got invited to ride a train for his friends Company Christmas party. Lee Joe only worked for him a few times this year but they are good friends. The only hang up we had about going was that Lee Joe was working in Utah. Because his company party was on Saturday, his company rented a car so they could come back for the weekend. Well, Lee Joe had to really push to get everything together so they could leave in time for us to get to Horseshoe Bend where the train is. So they left around one in the afternoon because one of the guys they work with that got the car dinked around for over an hour after he got the car before he showed to get the guys on the way home. Well, my husband upon occasion has a lead foot. So I was getting updates over the course of the afternoon on how close they were to getting home and wasn't looking good from every report. But he kept saying we will still try to get there. So he got his own car in Grand View and was 45 minutes away somewhere around six. In the meantime I had Christmas shopping to do and the dogs needed food so I was at Target waiting to meet him there so we go the rest of the way from Boise to Horseshoe Bend which typically is another 30 or 40 something minutes from there. We kept thinking, I don't think we are going to make it, but we might. And then I get a call that he got stopped coming into Boise. I was keeping pretty relaxed about the whole thing with no expectations until that moment thinking "Crap, what's that going to cost?" I am kind of wound up and know I need to check out. I am pretty sure we need to make some other plans for dinner and maybe we should just write off the train. Minutes later he's laughing when he calls me back saying the cop let him off. "Man you are the luckiest man, how did you manage that?"
He says, "He asked me why I was speeding and I told him that I was trying to catch a train. He said I should have left earlier and I told him that I left Utah at 1 this afternoon. It only took him 3 minutes to check my stuff and he let me off on a warning!" You have to know my husband to know that this is the best luck in THE WORLD because cops love to stop him and give him tickets and it has been really hard work on his part to avoid that affliction in his life. So he was off again but we are really writing off this train trip. He picks me up and he is driving not too much over the speed limit but we are driving through mountains now. I am not relaxed about this thing anymore and ready to give up on the whole idea of making it. It just doesn't look good.
The secretary from his friends company calls Lee Joe and he tells her where we are. So they start talking to the staff on the train. "It leaves a seven, it doesn't wait for anyone." We are so not going to make it. It is 7, she calls us back. We know we are almost there. About 5 after 7 and we can see the lights of the town. She calls us again. "They are waiting not much longer." We are on the main street and try to turn too soon and we figure out where to go while he's on the phone. It is like 10 after 7. He pulls up next to a straw bale where they have marked for parking, not really a parking spot where we should park. We jump out to run to the train and go the wrong way. We can see the party we are about to join in the windows and they are pointing for us to go the other way and we jump up the steps and board the train onto a dining car. It's full of people staring at us as we make our way back to our dining car. Mortified! That is what I am. Way strung out now from the turns on the road to get there with my husbands driving and maybe not making it and now all the people watching our arrival. The train starts going before we sit down. We hear that there were 350 people on the train that we just held up.
It was a nice experience. But it was dark so we couldn't see much outside. They had taken our salad and water when they didn't know that it was for us we were still coming. The dinner was Ok. Some of it was a little cold. Our fault I guess for holding up dinner too. Haha... They had Santa and Mrs. Claus visited our car and a lady with a guitar came and sang Christmas songs with a bunch of construction guys and their wives and girlfriends. So you can imagine how uncooperative some of them were. But it was a fun night. Lee Joe in the white elephant gift exchange won a free eyebrow and upper lip wax. But in the end we used it to get the 2 youngest girls haircut. I have pictures I will add when I get on the other computer to share. I just thought it was an experience to share. Really this is a typical day being married to my husband. Just so you know.

It's coming....But for now

2011-01-08T21:46:00.003-07:00

So I do have some great things to talk about. Some fun and crazy things I can elaborate on. So I will be hopefully getting to those stories soon and will be posting pictures again.

The Lupus junk has me all over the place. I think I am fine maybe in the morning and most of the day and think I am getting better only to get knocked for a loop later. But I finally have appointments with both a neurologist (that I have been seeing for my migraines) and the rheumatologist here soon. Needless to say I am learning some important things about my body. When I am tired the pain and the fatigue get crazy bad. When I take extra time to recover from feeling tired I have several better days before it gets me again. I am taking a ton of supplements that I have researched. Not a ton but quite a bit and when I take them I feel somewhat better. I know how to do transcedental meditation. I don't practice it the way I was taught how to use it but my body loves it when I come home from work and need a boost to get throught the rest of the night. Sometimes it doesn't help enough but I know I need that 20 minutes of rest and at the end of the 20 minutes my body says it's done before I look at the clock again. So extreme self care is the key. But not easy to do with my crazy house. I was interested to see what happened over Christmas vacation. The first week I was struggling. But it got better the closer to Christmas I got. Then the next week was so much better. By the end of the week I started really cleaning and purging my house. It felt so good and I had so much stamina that has been lacking for some time now. I only missed church because Hannah was dealing with food poisoning. That is where I fooled myself early this week thinking I was doing better. I had some really bad evenings and then when it was rough early in the day I picked up and had a great night. Here I am this Saturday. I only managed to have a good half a day. That was only in the morning. ugh.
I don't look forward to what drugs the rheumatologist might suggest. From what I have read it might be a rough road to getting better.
In the meantime I have some less whiney blogs in store. I need a Christmas update and I need to recap the adventures of catching a train.

I apologize

2011-01-05T22:41:00.002-07:00

I like blogging. I like to see other people's blogs. But I haven't been good at keeping up with mine lately. I will blog more. But I am way past my bedtime. But I really have so much to say, I am also trying not to complain so much. Result of that-not a lot of blogging. Or it could just be that I am a mother of five with a hubby who is out of town way more than we thought he would be with this job-Jobs are wonderful things!-while I work full-time and cope with an illness that is made worse by my job. I forgive myself. But I do like to blog-I like it more when I have found my sense of humor though. And the kids at school aren't giving me much to write about this year. Geez..Yeah, I am getting chatty like I get when I am tired.

Wasn't it just December?

2010-12-15T21:31:00.002-07:00

I mean seriously, I say this every year and every year I am amazed just the same. It was JUST December like last week and now it's the middle of December AGAIN. I am never ready for Christmas anymore. Because it gets here too fast. I would like to bake, but I haven't had a chance to think about it. I have presents to put under the tree but they aren't wrapped yet. I guess I could do that now. But I am blogging instead.
In December comes the illness, Kelsea's hacking cough coming and going and then coming again. Poor kid, every year she's coughing during her orchestra concerts. I guess it's a good thing she doesn't sing or play a wind instrument. Tonight I am hoping Hannah doesn't miss her concert tomorrow. I didn't see the dress rehearsal today and she is feeling sick tonight that might wind up landing her at home tomorrow. A few years ago she had chicken pox during the time she was to dance in a little recital. But I recall last Christmas I had a nasty cold. I had a horrible cough and completely lost my voice. This year so far I am just dealing with waves of pain and fatigue that comes and goes. I am learning to just let things happen.
Every year now, the tree becomes a thing. I am ready for an artificial tree because of the headache. Lee Joe has the right attitude that it does make for some memories. This years was almost out of "Christmas vacation." We about had a Griswold tree. Lee Joe has a friend that got a bunch of trees to sell here. But he was selling them in Emmett. Lee Joe is out of town all the time right now. I didn't want to, or I didn't even have the time to drive to Emmett to get a tree. So he asked the friend to bring us a tree. He did. I was happy. But it had to sit for a few days before we put it up. Hannah said it was too small. It was laying on it's side in front and I said we had to wait until we saw it standing up to decide. Lee Joe put the tree up while we were gone and he said it was too small. We came home and looked at it and thought-yep, kind of small for all the ornaments we have to put on the tree. So he talked to his friend, he decided to help him deliver trees as well. So when he met up with his friend, he put the biggest tree he could find in the truck. He brought it home. It was too tall and beastly heavy. I said it was too big. All the girls said it was too big. He said he would make it work. He trimmed up the bottom, and it just fit in the house once in it's stand but it looked like someone hacked off the top of the tree or that it was in the ceiling. Our angel wouldn't fit on the top of the tree at all. So Lee Joe went out and found a star. I actually like it a lot. He trimmed up the top and the long branches that looked like the tree had been topped and it looks quite nice. But man, the arguing about tree size and then where to put the beastly thing. My goodness. It was so late getting it up. I guess it wasn't that late. It was last weekend, but it didn't feel like Christmas yet without the tree. I still don't know where the roof of my stable is for my nativity. That is this Christmas memory I guess. I will post pictures of the tree here next time. These are the memories from 2010 so far.

Snow, Snow and more snow.

2010-12-03T20:36:00.002-07:00

I loved snow as a kid. There is nothing better than a that perfect temperature where you can build things and play in all day, as long as it is fun to build things.
But as an adult I have a different perspective. I like it when I am in the house, with my favorite things in the kitchen. And having the perfect snow day so I am not required to drive in it at all. Wednesday was that day. We got a snow day. I got to stay home from home work because it was a snow day and hang out inside while the kids played and played in the snow in the yard all day long. Then we walked to Jack in the Box because of my lack of soda and it was a fun sort of walk we don't get very often because we never get anywhere like the 8-10 inches we got overnight. Boise does not know how to plow snow. They know how to throw de-icer out on busy streets and that's it. But the kids built a snow cave and a little sled hill in the front yard. Our gazebo collapsed from the weight of the snow. I heard of about 2 or 3 more friends had the same thing happen. I remember one winter in Kansas growing up where we had several snow days from a blizzard we had. There were 10 foot drifts in places. One was in our backyard and we did nothing for days but dig snow caves. That was the most memorable winter ever. I loved it when you are a kid and you get a little cold but it's too much fun. Then the winters in Alaska where we would ice skate or sled for hours after school.
So going back to work/school on Thursday was not fun. When the temperature got warm enough to rain on all that beautiful snow. The kids were able to make snow men all day as it sprinkled on us all. It was like walking on a snow cone how the snow was melting. And then, I am all for not throwing snowballs at school but you can't keep a kid from picking snow up from the ground. I mean really. They were able to make giant snowballs and snowmen but they had to leave the snow on the ground and then not climb on any snow thing they had made. Fine, just keep the kids inside- what's the point.
Then having 8 inches of snow try to melt in the course of a day. Oh man, what a mess. Try to walk on it for several hours telling kids to leave the snow alone. Then try to navigate kids across a busy street with enormous puddles and piles of slush. I think a rain downpour is easier to deal with.
I liked Wednesday..... Very Very much. I do appreciate that we really don't get weather like this here all winter long. Just enough for you to say "Ok I am done." and then it is done. I wish I still had that attitude of the happy fun that snow use to bring.

November already?

2010-11-23T20:54:00.002-07:00

I can't believe it is November already. We are in the week of Thanksgiving. I don't mind the money I lost this year for the 3 extra days off this week. I really don't mind since the weather is awful and super freezing cold.

Just so you know, I haven't posted any of this on Facebook. I haven't posted very much on Facebook anyway, I haven't been feeling the greatest. It started with a sore elbow from push-ups in the spring that got a little better then got super bad. Along with that I felt like I had the flu all the time with muscle aches all over. Some super crazy tired where I am in a store and I don't feel I have the energy to get out of the store and take myself home. So I did go to the doctor. He did blood work and wanted me to come back for more blood work. So far it has possibly come back positive for Lupus. So those of you that know my family-my mom has had it for long time. For those of you that don't know what it is-it is an autoimmune disease. I have had a good attitude about it some days and other days it is frustrating to do next to nothing and feel like you ran a marathon. What is really frustrating is the next step is to see a rhuematologist and they are taking their time looking at my referral and then they are making appointments for March right now. Hmm... But I know if I take really good care of myself I can get better. But trying to figure out how to that with the 5 girls in the house still and a husband that is always out of town working (yes that is still a blessing) and my working full time with a job that could be making my symptoms worse ( sun can cause a person with Lupus feel worse) but I need the job for the insurance. Loads of fun. I will try not to complain. I will just state that I do have some challenges ahead of me.

The three ring circus

2010-10-19T13:02:00.002-06:00

Just so you know, it's a 3 ring circus here right now. I think it was a zoo over the weekend but this week is definately a circus. Tally on drs appts--5 for 3 people this week. 2 down-3 more to go. I took today off and am really suppose to be getting a bunch of financial crap togother but it's SCARY!! but I will do it and I have an hour left. I shouldn't be here.
Autumn has 3 tennis matches and tournament this week. I might make one. I missed watching her yesterday. I have a husband driving from Montana all week and I just laugh because that is typical of weeks like these. It is out of our hands and the way it is that I get to become a super woman but really by the end of the week I am a frazzled SUPER big mess. But to everyone else I guess I look fine. Concert tonight for Kelsea -missed Kylee's last volleyball game. Amber might be down for the week after today. The cyst she had last fall/winter came back and I have to tell you it is one of the worst things I have ever witnessed someone suffering through and she gets to do it again. Poor kid and not great timing with marching band. By the way I so enjoy watching the BSU marching band! Yep, just love it.
We now know Kelsea is allergic to all trees, grass and weeds, some mold and dustmites. Somewhat allergic to dogs. But she is NOT allergic to cats. I loved how the doctor put it. "You got an A on your allergy test today." I took pictures of her back on my phone. I can't really put it on here but she was red and irritated all across her back. Just imagine that.
Somehow I am working full-time (fine, not today) with a spouse who's away, managing my house of 5 hormonal girls and I guess I am still alive, you will have to ask me 20 questions yourself to find out how 'all there' I am. Because I don't think I will even know. Back at it... where are all those darn papers????

Still here

2010-10-08T23:40:00.002-06:00

I wish everyone would blog more. I would probably blog more if everyone else would. I think people must be rediscovering their lives more anyways because they don't seem to be on Facebook much either. Or they are doing what I am doing, watching everyone else but pretty much speechless on the status updates because everything else you could say seem so much less important than it once seemed.

Life is nuts like it always is this time of year. Kids are in school sports-8th grade volleyball and 7th grade tennis. Kylee made Jazz band. I am excited over that for her but they are a very small group this year. Kelsea quit color guard. I was kind of disappointed over that. But it's not about me. Amber is in full swing with band at BSU. Kelsea is still in Chamber orchestra, Kylee plays trombone and Autumn is playing flute. Hannah is Hannah at the moment. Her teacher is keeping her plenty busy with homework. We will see what she may do this year. But I am really hitting burnout with sports. I enjoy the music so much more. It is so much more enjoyable and relaxing watching a performance rather than the stress of competition. I am way too anxiety prone.
We had some birthdays. Kylee turned 14. She wanted a phone really bad and since most people don't have house phones anymore, and she needs one while babysitting, it was the thing to do. She got a phone. It is handy.
I had my birthday and got a Kodak mini camcorder. I am still trying to get it figured out. Right now I am waiting for a video I made today to download on Facebook. It has taken an hour already for a 10 minute video. I am still figuring it out.
Kelsea went to homecoming with a good friend of hers. She went with a big group with kids she is comfortable with and she had a really good time. I was happy for her that this one went well. We have had a rough time with her too. She can't text on her phone right now.
I thought I had something more to go on about. Besides the fact that we had big bunch of Kylee's rowdy friends over for a party. They had a good time. I guess I am getting more experienced with this teenage party thing. I gave them food and went away downstairs while they did party things. Much less structure than the young kid parties.
If it wasn't taking so long for Facebook to get a video, I would post one here but it will have to wait I guess. Watching Amber this year in band is a total blast. They are loud, and fun and really good. She is thinking about trying out for drum major next year. She is taking crazy hard classes, working at the jr high tutoring. She is busy all the time. There are some internships and scholarships she is looking at. Lee Joe and I keep telling her to try for the ones at NASA and she is thinking about it. Wouldn't that be cool?
I saw Autumn do the coolest thing the other day. I knew she was fascinated with sign language a few years ago and she got a bunch of sign language books for Christmas. I wasn't sure how much she really used them. A friend of mine was signing to her daughter the other day. She was signing to her to tease her I think and her daughter just looked at her like she was nuts because she doesn't know sign language. Autumn started translating everything my friend was saying. I looked at her in shock. My 12 year old can translate sign language. I love that I can discover something new about her like that. WOW!
I guess since my stuff is still slllooooooowly downloading, I will have to post pictures of all these events later. Because it's late.

Favorite memory

2010-09-17T20:39:00.002-06:00

I have a favorite memory when it comes to my job. It's something that happened last year and it literally gave me chills. I probably shared it when it happened but I need to share again.

There is a family that has adopted all their kids from Korea and Vietnam. I guess I assumed that when you are adopted from there you are an American. One day this mom came and brought a little American flag for us to take to her son in class. I was curious as to why it was so important for him to have this flag. When I gave it to his teacher, the other teacher that taught his grade was there too. I lingered as they asked why he would be given an American flag by his mother, What did it mean? Kids are so funny. For a minute he said he didn't know and then it occurred to him. He said that he was adopted but he still wasn't a US citizen yet. The flag his mom sent him meant now he was. He was smiling ear to ear as he explained this to us. And we were all so touched. He is the best young man. He just left to attend another school. I will miss him. But that memory will last with me forever.

senior picture

2010-09-09T20:36:00.001-06:00

Kelseas first senior picture! Isn't it great?!

BSU!! & Life

2010-09-09T19:42:00.003-06:00

So I am learning new skills. Like how to post youtube videos to my blog. There you have it, some fun BSU band stuff. Amber's first performance day at BSU. You can see her in the one on the bottom as they are marching to where they did the flash mob. I find it exciting and fun and especially after BSU football's first game of the season. It looks like another exciting year. If BSU gets to go to a bowl game, Amber will so get to to go. Lee Joe is just dying to go to the BSU vs Oregon State game. That will be Amber's first football game performance.

She has started her sophomore year. She is looking into internships in the summer for the next two summers. She has been contemplating Colorado for some reason. I am not to sure the nature of what those are. She is thinking about the INL here in Eastern Idaho. Because Barbara Morgan being an Idaho teacher. They offer some internships at NASA. That would be exciting if she could do that. She just found out about this crazy great scholarship opportunity with them so it would be so exciting to see what happens if she tries for that.

We are down one person in the house. We had gained one in May and Justice Emilee went to BYU-Idaho this past weekend. It made for an interesting summer with the female hormone factor upped up another notch. Drama-but not the worst. Her last week before she left was bumpy with a fresh root canal as the last preparations for going were taking place. She got her driving part of her license done and now she needs to get the written part out of the way. We tried to get there before she went but she was so sick and miserable and then the envelope was lost when she was ready to try and go. It wasn't found until after 6 on Friday. We shopped, she packed and we loaded up the van minus one seat and a couple of girls and took the 3 youngest and her to Rexburg. We stopped at Craters of the Moon on the way. It was CRAZY windy but not hot. We climbed through a cave and some of us had issues with the part where you could hear bats. But we climbed through to the end. Then we had to climb up and through the lava rock to get back to the trail on the way back. We got to Rexburg and got her moved in early Monday. She is so social so she is in social paradise there right now. Pretty funny.

I am back at work. Exhausted like always. Lee Joe is gone just as much as he was with his other job. The pay is better. But life here is still like I am a single parent and so tired I am quite detatched from the kids and now I feel like my kids are falling apart. Kelsea is a serious challenge at the moment. Then last night Kylee was at football game, then she was home for few minutes before she went to babysit for awhile. When she got home I was so exhausted that I went to bed before I really talked to her. I find out on Facebook today because of her status that some mom of a boyfriend she had kept calling her terrible names and were telling the kids that she knew horrible things about Kylee that were unbelievable coming from a mom. I had to ask her several times "The mom said that? She said that?" and then flipped my daughter off as she drove away. Oh my goodness!! I am a terrible awful mother!! No I'm not, that woman is. But that is how I feel. Just awful. How come I wasn't better about talking to her. Kylee is quiet about things like that. It's heartbreaking. I would have been contacting everyone at the school I could think of had I known about it last night. But this is a mom of a kid that now attends another school. I will be knocking down doors tomorrow for sure. I think she will be getting a cell phone a little sooner rather than later.
That is where it hits me. My kids are not being cared for up to the standards that I have set for them. Yes, life happens. But I really need to be there for them the way I really like and want to be there for them. And working doesn't do that for them even though I am there for other people's kids all day long. Hopefully soon I will be in a position to make some decisions and make some choices that I want to make not the ones that I have to just to get by.

Boise State University Flash Mob - Spirit Day 2010

2010-09-09T19:42:00.000-06:00

Boise State Rally for game against Virginia Tech

2010-09-09T19:37:00.000-06:00

Pictures

2010-08-22T14:08:00.003-06:00

Kylee and Autumn had a church activity where they got pictures taken in our favorite picture taking park. Anna had a friend come and take these pictures. Anna took some too but I haven't seen all of hers yet but theones I have seen were really good too.

Kelsea is getting her senior pictures done on September 11th. We will see if that changes. We are going to get hers done downtown and we will see what else happens with those.

I am back to work tomorrow. Not excited at all. I am having memory issues remembering kids names I have usually known well. And the busy is starting to happen already. I still can't get Kylee and Autumn home long enough to get them ready for school. Oh well. So Maybe I will keep up with my blog, maybe not. I will try.

Summer's end

2010-08-19T23:33:00.002-06:00

All good things come to an end. Our leisurely summer is rapidly wrapping up. I am glad that we had no activities or obligations to meet. That is surely picking up already and school hasn't officially started yet. The past two weeks have been getting kids "registered" they are already in classes. You just get to pay lots of fees. $76 total for the jr high girls and a whopping $107 for Kelsea and we still have to sign her up for an online class for $50 dollars. YUCK!!
So here are this years stats-Amber is a sophomore at BSU. She is in the Blue Thunder Marching Band. They have had band camp all week. She is excited. BSU was ranked #3 in Sports Illustrated for top football teams so it is a really cool year for Amber to get to be a part of that. Maybe we will actually go watch a BSU football game in person!
Kelsea is a senior. We are trying to get senior pictures lined out and her schedule is killer. We can't even get seminary in her schedule even with her zero hour class and online Econ. She wants to go to BSU. She might be doing color guard but at the moment she is sitting on the fence. She is captain this year and that will look really good going into college but like I said her class load is huge and even more so for her. Tough mom moment in what to do. I still don't know the best advice. She is working at the mall to make it even more of a challenge and determined to keep the job.
Kylee is in 8th grade. That means volleyball started this week. She was disappointed she made jv but then both her sisters did too in 8th grade. It has made this last week that was suppose to full of last hurrahs fall totally flat. You can't do much when practice is running from 1-3 everyday. She will be in band and hopes to do jazz band this year.
Autumn is in what will be the glorious 7th grade. She is excited and not at all nervous. Kylee is worried Autumn will embarrass her. Those two actually get along the best out of the girls so it's weird to see the beginning of strife. But we went through the same thing with Amber and Kelsea but Amber had good reason to be worried. Autumn will be able to play tennis in late September and she is going to be in band also playing flute. Autumn's schedule is just like Kylee's was last year with the same teachers. Autumn has been babysitting with Kylee this week and that has furthered my dliemma of a last week of fun. Getting their school stuff for them has been difficult as well. Geez, this kids with jobs and lives of their own!! :)
Hannah will be in the third grade this year. There has been a reall sassiness I noticed here lately that I usually don't see until a few years later on. I am not really sure what this year will bring with her. She is not offered anything extra-curricular at school yet which is helpful. This is the first time I will only have one kid in elementary school since Amber's first two years at school. That was a long time ago.
Lee Joe started his new job. The first week had us a little nervous. He went up to Montana and back and then they didn't have work for him the rest of Weds and Thurs when at first he was suppose to go back from the orgional plan. They gave him work on Friday and then the beginning of this week everything that was suppose to line up and keep everyone busy all hit at the same time so he is going to be working hard through Saturday this week with the Montana trips and then the job he was hired for starts Monday and we will see what kind of busy that brings. He will only have one day off a week. The job he has had with Simplot has had him gone just as much.
I didn't get as motivated as I hoped. I notice that I accomplish more when I am secure in how "life" is going. This summer has been better than the last but still challenging. When things look up I get motivated and either super clean things or finish unfinished things. I have almost finished the bathroom completely. All that is left is to put something in the border I put on the wall but it will be fine if I don't do it either so I pretty proud of that. It has taken years to finish it to where I had to completely repaint the upper half of the walls. But it's trimmed out and the trim is painted and above to shower has new beadboard that is also painted. I replaced the shower curtain so it's updated. I just need to get to the kitchen that might be working on 3 years unfinished and I have decided to paint the walls in there yellow now instead of the blue they have been.
It's late, I am rambling. I finally know where my husband is at midnight. Still about an hour away from coming home from work. He is such a hard worker and I love him for that. Thank goodness he has a job.

I wish I had something more to say, I think it's too late for me to find my sense of humor. I will find it again. I am sure once I start back at work and have some crazy drama I will find it again to share. Oh, my next blog will be the story of the mystery plant.

Crazy sleeper

2010-08-06T21:02:00.002-06:00

This is a random post but it needs to be noted that.....Hannah is crazy and terrible sleeper. When she is sleeping with her mother who happens to be a very light and sensitive sleeper it makes for a really super bad night's sleep.
Hannah slept with me two nights ago. Lee Joe has been gone most of the week with work while Kylee Autumn and Kelsea are gone on a church trip. She moves all night long. She pulls the covers, almost scratches up my legs with her long toenails, and she sits up and looks at you like she's drunk and gives the goofiest smile you have ever seen in your life before she laid back down to sleep some more. Rough night. She seemed rested though.
Night two-last night. I tell Hannah she can't sleep in the bed with me. But she can bring in her princess air mattress thingy she has. That is the most noisey air mattress EVER!!! Every time she moved it squeaked and scrunched. THEN she was talking a lot in her sleep. There were only 3 of us at home last night. That meant Spot slept with me too. She was piece of cake compared to Hannah.
Thank goodness everyone is home tonight. I would rather fuss at Lee Joe to roll over because he is snoring than put up with another 2 nights like that.
I feel bad because I do just love that little girl so much. I have never really minded sleeping with my kids but this is kid is restless.

Lee Joe starts his new job- for real-- On Tuesday. YAY!!

This Summer so far....

2010-08-04T18:55:00.013-06:00

Last summer was a really rough one. I can truthfully say we went nowhere. We stayed close to home. We lived off my paycheck which was sad and the kids went to the pool only a handful of times if that. The recession hit this house hard and it took a long time to get better. I can tell you I was seriously ready for this one. Even just going to the pool is good news. This summer is quite an adjustment with kids growing up. Everyone is coming a going at all hours of the day. We have one more member in our household-Justice Emilee. A lot going on always. While we work around Amber's summer school schedule and her college friends, Kelsea and Justice bonding and sometimes not and both girls are working at the mall, Kylee has a consistent babysitting job, Autumn is just getting started in babysitting, and Lee Joe's wacky schedule with his job-yes we are happy with the paycheck even if it comes with cow poop covered clothes and we never know what his schedule is until the day before-I am not farmer material by the way... This is what we have done-
*Went to Nevada for a several reunions at once
*Cut 10 inches off Autumn's hair and hi-lighted it. Now she looks like Melissa!

*Let Kylee hi-light her hair for the first time.

*visited 3 pools in Boise
*Gone to Roaring Springs with the 3 youngest.
*3 oldest went to Roaring Springs later
*tie dyed shirts
*Went to Cascade Lake on a day trip
*Went to Shaffers Butte for a shorter day trip
*Been to some cheap movies on Tuesdays
*Hannah and Autumn did the reading thing at the library and got a bunch of free stuff
*Amber, Justice, Kelsea and I all won gift certificates to sunglass hut. That is MY favorite hi-light of summer.
*Sewed and prepped 3 girls to go to Wyoming for their Faith Quest Trek. 3 days in pioneer clothes pulling handcarts and walking for miles. Remembering those who risked and lost their lives.
*Went on the paddle boats at Julia Davis park. I have wanted to do that for years and now it's out of my system.
*Took the 2 youngest to the zoo.
*Picture taking just for fun.
*Almost finished the bathroom. Not quite there yet.
*Learning or teaching self sufficientcy (made up word or just misspelled?) Mother fixed van-last blog and took apart and fixed the dishwasher.
*Teaching the girls how to love unconditionally. They do it easily. I am very proud of them all.

Especially when we tie-dyed. There was no fighting.

.
This is what I still want to do but now time is getting short-
#catch up on photo albums that are more than 8 years behind now.
#Finish unfinished house projects. I am almost there!! I just need to finish it already.
#Use the free vouchers for Discovery center, ice skating, free meals out
#Spend some time at the mall because I like that place even if I don't buy anything.
#Clean the garage.
#have a yard sale.
#Go to Lagoon. Or just visit Utah again. But I don't know if this is happening this summer.
#Get all the kids pictures taken at JCPenney's
#Get haircuts. This one is the most ridiculous for me. It's not that hard to schedule a hair appointment is it? That's why my hair is always so long.

There is probably more. We have been waiting all summer for Lee Joe's new job to start. It's a better job with no cow poop involved, just moving hazardous material. More like contaminated dirt and they get to wear something over their clothes when they are near it. It was suppose to start June 1, then the end of June, then the beginning of July, then middle July, Now it's next week. But last notice he gave we found out on Friday that Monday was a no go. Contract work and hazardous material moving-lot of hang-ups. But Simplot still has kept him going they like him so if this doesn't work out they know he's good. Hoping for good news to pull through.

Car Fixing Superwoman!

2010-07-30T23:55:00.002-06:00

You would think that I would blog more with more time at home. I don't think there is much to comment on I guess. Then there is an occasional day like this. When I have something to say, well it can be a lot more than you bargained for.

I should explain this latest quote from me "If people would tell me the stuff they don't remember, my day would have been a whole lot easier." I had one of those days the other day. I haven't had one in awhile. I can say I didn't really miss having one of those days. I thought all was fine. I was playing zoo tycoon with Hannah that morning a little bit. I guess I took over because she told me "It's not as much fun watching you play it for so long." I took a hint. But she went to a friends house and I played it a little more. Then I was about to take Autumn to the doctor for the umpteenth time for her toe. But this doctor was giving us an option over loosing her whole toenail so we were following up before the big Wyoming camp and walk trek she is going on next week. That would be bad to deal with the infected toenail during that. So we get in the car to go. I go down my street to go the no stoplight way to the doctor's office. I just past the church and I turn. There is water in the gutter and now as soon as I turn the power steering is gone. FLASHBACK!! Two summers ago, Lee Joe was in southern california, I loose my power steering and here a clunk on the busiest road in town. I lost my tensioner pulley. This time, I am familiar with the loss of power steering CRAP!! I pull into the parking lot and lift the hood to see and the belt is there but not moving. That means I need to get the car home before it overheats (know this from past experience) I get the car home and have to take the little car, the Neon. I have driven it twice maybe 3 times. It has no AC and it's a stick. I can do this, it's gonna be a hundred degrees by the way. But we have to get to the doctor. I get there just barely late. But I can't get the keys out of the ignition. I call Amber "I guess my key works the best." There is a blanket in the back and I cover the steering wheel. It looks like I don't want a hot steering wheel but I really just don't want someone driving off with a hot car. I mean like stolen. Doctor tortures Autumn with stuffing a cotton ball under her toenail but it is helping. I tell Lee Joe about the van. He remembers that he took the splash guard off the van to fix the water pump a few weeks ago. The water I went through probably made the belt slip off. He is not going to be home until the next day. I tell him I can't get the keys out of the car. Hmm, that's weird he says. I wonder why. Then I have another appointment right after that. Chiropractor. Glad to be there after the past 2 hours. I got there on time. Phew. But my shoulders are up to my ears by now.
3 stops later and still can't get the keys out of the flippin car. I finally get home, I go in the house and I tell Kelsea that I can't get the keys out of the car. She says there is a button you have to push to get them out. YOU ARE KIDDING ME!! I talked to Amber and Lee Joe and they don't tell me this????
I have helped Lee Joe get the belt on the van a few times before. I know how to do it. I really want my van back. I look online for how to get the belt on. There are like 7 different wheels it goes around. And then you have to move the tensioner pulley to get it back on. I know this but I don't know how it goes around each of the wheels. On the internet it says to look on the fan cover in the van. I am pretty sure that in vans that haven't been repaired in the past that it is there. But no picture on my van. Guess what? I have manual sitting 3 feet away from me. So I find my picture. I hunt for a 15 mm wrench. I will not be using proper tool names here. I just know how to use them. I find some rubber gloves. I hate grease under my nails. So I get the belt put where it needs to go except for the last pulley. The wrench isn't quite long enough to get the leverage I need and to get the blasted belt on. SO I try the jack handle. Not enough. I use another wrench in end of the wrench and see if I can get it to stay so I can move it. I am scared to death of it moving or slipping off and loosing a finger. I freak out about stuff like that. I try and I try and I try to get that belt on that pulley. It's not working. Hannah is dropped off at home and I go talk to the mom. I have grease literally up both arms past my elbows. Amber comes home with dinner. I am fixing a car and not cooking people!! It is about a hundred degrees now. I am shaking from heat and so I eat and wait about an hour. Everyone leaves the house except Hannah. So I recall something I read in the manual and I think I will try putting the belt on a different pulley. So I set it up, I move the tensioner and I slip the belt on like it was nothing. Not even 3 minutes and I had the freaking thing on! YEAH!! What the crap?!!! I could have had this done hours ago if I KNEW that!! There is nobody home to pat me on the back. I call Lee Joe to let him know I fixed the car and wondered if he knew how easy it was to put it on the other pulley. He knows, he learned later that it was easier to do it that way. And oh yeah! you have to push that button in to get the keys out of the other car. GRRRRR.. But you know what? I fixed my car myself and I didn't need any help. You really need some muscle to move that tensioner pulley. Good thing I have that. But I don't want to be responsible for car repairs in the future. So this is a one time celebration.

What's up?

2010-07-03T23:41:00.002-06:00

I guess there is something to blog about finally. I will just start with, I don't think I have ever really won anything really great before. Nothing all that significant really. Maybe a candle holder once, I don't know. But Amber became a "fan" of the Boise factory outlets and she told me about a little contest thingy where if you comment on a status you might win a gift certificate to Sunglass hut. Amber, another Kim and I all commented and we all 3 won $100 gift certificate! I have spent less than $15 on most of my pairs of sunglasses. I wear sunglasses whenever I go outside so I really use them. I have never cared about brand of glasses. Just so I don't look like a total dork. I would never consider spending even $50 on sunglasses. But it was fun to go and shop for brand name sunglasses just because you could. In the end I found a pair of Ray Bans that I REALLY liked and they were $99. Most everything else was around 119 or 150. I got them and then they were 6 dollars over my gift card. I can handle that. So now I feel super silly wanting to find some silly excuse to wear them. Amber got herself a pair of really cute Vogue sunglasses and hers happened to be on sale so she go back and spend $15 more. I like them and can't wait to enter another contest. Amber also won a pedicure. We will have to pay attention and there will be more fun for us.

We went to Nevada to catch up with Lee Joe's long lost relatives. We spent time at Lake Lahontan on the first full day we were there and then we managed to get to Tahoe and spent some time there and had pictures at Molly's new house that was just a wonderful house that she has worked so hard for. I got to catch up a little with a high school friend I had not seen in 20 years. That was great. My 20 year high school reunion will be in August so I might be able to catch up with more people then.

I left late that night. It is about 7 hours of driving to get home. I had the other licensed teens with me. Amber drove some and then I did. FYI-the rabbits are breeding like... rabbits out there. I had seen 3 going to Nevada-hit one bunny :( I had a close encounter with an antelope. On the way back there were 7 we didn't hit any. Getting back to this really cool experience, I like to listen to my ipod while traveling and when everyone is asleep I put on my big headphones as I drive. We love movie soundtracks. We have all 3 Pirates of the Caribbean soundtracks on my ipod. We just got the soundtrack to "How to train your dragon" (I LOVED that movie by the way) So anywho.. I was listening to that as I drove in the rolling mountains around Jordan Valley. They roll up and down and around. Nothing way to curvy or any real treacherous drops on the side. But the road isn't that smooth so it kind of feels bouncy at times. But when you are listening to music that goes to the part in the movie where the boy is flying with his dragon, it's pretty cool. What was absolutely breathtaking was rolling down and up and around and coming around a corner and you are listening to the flying music and then all of a sudden you see the valley covered in lights and the sun is starting to glow over the top of the distant mountain range on the other side of the valley. With the music and how beautiful it was, it did take my breath away. It was real life with a soundtrack. You couldn't even take a picture or recapture the moment. Everyone was asleep so it was only my moment. But it was so cool.

The rest of my life-Recovering from not working by getting next to nothing done. Took kids to the dentist two days in a row. Used the kids free roaring springs tickets so I took the 3 youngest. Starting our public pool visits. Favorite part of summer! Kelsea has a job at Justice. We have another teenage girl in the house! 6 girls. Kylee is babysitting a lot. Kids are finding ways to earn money and it's actually difficult to plan things with all the girls because someone is always coming or going.

By the way, I appreciate the comments left on my blogs. I haven't been that good at responding, but happy summer! And the dog is still with us. He has his good days and bad days. We will see how he handles the 4th. He doesn't handle the fireworks well at all but I think his hearing is going because he hasn't reacted to the fireworks much today as he has in the past.

Dogs

2010-06-13T17:51:00.003-06:00

Some people are animal lovers. And some just aren't. I was raised with animals and can't imagine them not being a part of my life. One animal doesn't ever seem to be enough for us. We have always tried to keep animals as long as we can. We have had to loose a few cats though that had some issues. But my mom has a dog that came from my grandparents dogs. They gave Melissa the dog and mom inherited the dog down the road. She had a poodle and then her dogs gave us Spot. Her dog has been around a long time. She had to put him down here recently. Man he lived a very long doggy life. I think he had to be about 15 or 16 maybe. He was a pretty and good little dog. Our Spot is getting up there. She is 11 now but still quite frisky. But our other dog Buddy who is possibly Great Dane and lab or golden retriever is probably about 12 or 13. That is very old for the size dog that he is. We have had him 11 years. He is quite elderly now. I have had a few times where I stop and watch his breathing to see if he is still with us. We are watching him decline rapidly now. He has been struggling with his back hips off and on for years. Not a terrible struggle, just work for him. His hips have never been super strong. But now he has had some days with great weakness in his legs and he has had a few potty issues which he never has. So this could be his last summer with us. He has lost weight and his back legs don't look good. That is pretty sad for me even though I have never been a big (I mean by large) dog lover. He is a very good dog we rescued from the pound in Nampa. He has had a long and happy life with us. He has played with puppies and put up with kittens he would have rather have nowhere near him, but he was kind. Kids could crawl all over him and he would just lay there and let them. He barely chased after tennis balls but he chased the neighbors cat until the fence was bent in and could care less about the cat anymore. If you have seen Morley( Marley?) and Me. Well that movie got me because the end of movie is where we are. And coping with the kids when he goes will be the hardest part of all. But that's a part of life's lessons isn't it? Then you realize then how much of a gift that pet was in your life. The kids still mourn the cat that had to be put to sleep years ago. So Buddy is still here right now and hopefully he will die peacefully here. I don't know. He is about 70 -100 pounds. Maybe I won't think about those details quite yet. We will remind the kids to appreciate every time they let him out and in from now on. Because it might not be for much longer.

The best news!

2010-06-01T21:47:00.003-06:00

I guess the very best part of my job is the 3 month vacation that starts in 3 days. YAY! I am worse than the kids counting down.

We just redid our bathroom and it looks much nicer and like a real bathroom with real baseboards and EVERYTHING! If you have been to my house-the lower half of the walls did not change. The upper half got a fresh coat of shade of green I love and the border is purple. We put beadboard above the shower and put in a new shower curtain and I had to get a new toilet seat mainly because I broke the other one while painting.

Things are winding down a little. Thank goodness. I keep saying that and the wind down is slow. We went to the movies 2 nights in a row. We saw Diary of a Wimpy Kid last night and we saw Percy Jackson and the lightning Thief tonight. Kylee and Kelsea saw The Last Song. Hannah studied Greece and mythology quite thouroughly so I thought she would really like it. We were late and it scared her badly at first. She started crying and we had to step out. Then she stepped out when she thought it was too intense but she knew all the gods and the creatures in the movie she was interested and she knew the part that has to do with the Lotus flower. It was still interesting to her but still too intense. I don't even know what she knows about it all.

Kelsea has had a lot of nasty girl drama with a TP job gone mad with food smeared all over the car she drives. It was saran wrapped too. We know who did it, she denied it of course. I called the police and they said I had to go throught the SRO at the school. They listened to the kids and in the end said "We just made sure they know how the school stands on these things and they aren't going to have contact with each other anymore." I am seriously peeved. It is a long story I won't go into here. I tell you, Texting and Facebook ups the whole scenario into another level of craziness.

Autumn has a toe that is crazy infected that we have been to the doctor for at least a half dozen times. It gets better and then gets worse. Poor kid.

We have another teenager in our house for the summer. Kelsea is sharing her room with her and it's like one big slumber party.

Lee Joe has a new job. He was suppose to start today but there was a delay so he may not start until the end of June. It should be better and we will know his schedule daily instead of him having to call daily to find his next days schedule. But a job is a wonderful thing.

I haven't blogged in so long and it's like I have lost interest or there isn't anything new fantastic or profound to really blog about or it's stuff that really shouldn't be put out on the web for all to read.

Anyways-3 more mornings of early rising for me! I wish it was warm enough to feel like summer is really here.

Great quote

2010-05-05T22:06:00.003-06:00

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning how to dance in the rain."

I just saw this quote and came after the most stormy weekend you could imagine. I have to work on the dancing. I haven't quite mastered it yet. I am still falling in the puddles.

I guess a good indication of a bumpy weekend is when your oldest daughter on Friday has her starter go out. Mindful of the blessings here-She was in walking distance to the school, even closer than if she was at home. Requirement for the use of my car was lunch brought to the school for me. Wonderful daughter did that. When trying to pick her sisters and me up after school, she left her jacket behind in class and was uncomfortable going to get in while other students were testing-Mindful blessing-very attentive friend noticed right away, jacket rescued. Then Amber further helps out by taking Autumn to get a gift for a friend at the dollar store, somewhere along the way, finds a nail and it likes my tire. Amber is at home when she discovers the flat. We have a flat and there is this usually huge-but somewhat scaled down concert that Autumn and Kylee need to be at in like 15 minutes of getting this flat tire. Mindful blessing- People we know drive by the house and turn around and offer to help. They are going to the same place and I can bring dad once tire is changed. I get help, we are perfectly on time. Dad is not as on time-mindful blessing-Cell phone! I call him when girls perform so he can sort of hear it but doesn't miss it completely. Next!
Saturday we know have two cars to fix and a few places to be. Mindful blessing-Hubby is so resourceful. He manages to get tire replaced for free-I guess Amber drove a little with the super flat tire and they won't just fix it. Then he gets starter from junkyard so instead of 120 dollars it is $20 and he fixed it! But one more car starts to act up but he is milking it along for now. Kelsea's door got caught in the wind last week and dented another girl's car. They decide to file a claim and I am surprised by the insurance company telling us about the claim. I find out I need to resubmit EVERYTHING we sent in for a home loan modification thing we started in November. DO you think I have any clue where any of that is? Two kids are sick all weekend. And a grandma is very unhappy with Kelsea over the outcome with prom. Oh dear. hmm... There are some mindful blessings... I took Monday off to find my paperwork and also found the top of my desk and calmed down a bunch. I was super stressed all weekend. Hannah had to stay home on Monday-another good reason to be off. We have never filed a claim in 5 years of having our insurance so our insurance won't go up when they pay out the $200 to two dents and we were only responsible for one. All is well. The Grandma thing.. No sharing details there, just hoping prom will soon become a distant memory for all involved. But Kelsea got the sportsmanship award at the tournament she was invoved in on Saturday. She was voted on by coaches so that is quite an honor for her. Loan thing-haven't figured that one out yet. But Lee Joe has a great lead on a great job and he interviews for it tomorrow.

As for kiddos-Amber is going to be a member of the Blue Thunder Marching band at BSU next year. We are so excited for that! She is taking summer school classes and is doing great.
Kelsea is having her struggles this year. Some with friends, some with dates, some with classes and she is learning some difficult yet character building lessons with life. She is playing Tennis and winning some and losing some and is nursing an injured a sore shoulder as we speak. It's a little more than sore. Maybe it's related to too much texting? That's what I think I will tell her.
Kylee is thriving in 7th grade. Tremendously social and testing some boundaries. She has been busy with Honor Band, piano, dance, and now is playing Volleyball and made varsity. She is proud of herself. That just started.
Autumn is in a whirlwind of craziness that is calming down. She did track for the first time, has loved it. She took someone's place on a relay team and they went all the way to the city track meet and took 6th. She has discovered she enjoys running a lot and helps her feel good and cope well-even when her toenails are very infected. The poor kid had one more side of her toenail removed again. It's been an interesting time for her. A lot of growing up going on. I am watching her finish up elementary school and I can tell she is getting ready for jr high.
Hannah started piano this month. She really likes it. She is doing dance as well. She told her dad to stop gaping again tonight. We start laughing and she says "what?" She really has no clue. She is very interesting.

As for me-I have lost a few inches and few pounds with exercise only. Some people are starting to notice. I can't wait for school to get out and I really hope we can do something this summer. But I still don't like all these teenage hormones in my house.

That is more than anyone ever wanted to know I am sure. The puddles are big and I am getting wet but am trying to learn to get through the storm with grace....and sanity...all in one piece because sometimes it feels like I am loosing my mind....

But not today.

Spring madness

2010-04-25T00:48:00.002-06:00

I will admit I am a little strung out. I will also admit that at times, it takes next to nothing to make me that way. I did find it humorous earlier this week that I said "oh, tonight is not too bad. We just have track, piano and tennis." How is having 3 things after work not too bad? I suppose it is because all those things got done by 5:30 and I had an evening to myself, but not really. I went to the fabric store to buy fabric so I could modify Kelsea's dress for prom.

So I dread spring now. It is busier no matter how you try to manage it, than December. Everything always looks manageable until everything decides it is time to wind it with huge production numbers. That is how you know the end it near because of the flurry, the tornado, the fireworks of the finale to finally send it off and put it to rest until next year. And everyone wants to do it all at the same time. The District track meet will happen on the same day as the elementary honor band tour that requires a chold to be dropped off and picked up during the parents work day. OK.

It is hard to say no to the things the kids do when they get done with that track meet and you were so reluctant to add another thing and your daughter says "that was so much fun! I just loved that!" even though she came in 3rd in the shotput and there were only 3 girls and she didn't place at all in the 60. And she is running with the most persistent infected toenail and then continues to run when they cut part of it off. All right fine, join track.

I asked Kelsea over and over about Prom. It wasn't her fault no one from her school asked her. And then the kid who did found a way to ask her even though he didn't go to her school. Then he asks her on the Sunday before prom. On top of the already busy week we get him permission to attend. I have to alter a dress she already has but am too exhausted all week to work on it. Then there is the flower she needs for him. She is too busy to do that. Miracles did happen this week. She had dress she felt more modest in. Friends did her hair. I was parting with my car because the dress was so big and he doesn't have his license yet. I tried to get all my shopping done during the day-I usually wait until late Saturday to that. In the middle of my grocery shopping I get a call from Kylee saying that the guy was waiting for me to pick up the flower I ordered for her the night before. I forgot to tell Kelsea to pick it up and it left my mind completely. They closed at 1-it was 1:30. I try to figure out what to do. Amber is volunteering at the Jazz festival downtown, Kelsea is on her day date at Wahooz in Meridian and Lee Joe is working. It's me. I am it. I have a cart with lots of groceries. What do i do? I left it. I told the checker I would be back. Drive the way with the shortest stoplights, right past my house, to the florist. I feel so bad and liek such an idiot. He says "usually it's the dad's that do that." I am just the most frazzled mom at the moment. I don't ever forget things like that. I drop the flower off at home and go back to my cart. I get done shopping, I don't even want to put gas in the car and I need to be home and get things put up and my house clean. Kelsea texts me in the middle of her getting her hair done. "did you get me a bra?" CRAP!!! Nope, nope.. another thing forgotten. It is close to when she needs to get dressed. I go to Burlington coat factory and hope that this is the day that store will have what I need when I need it. You never know there. They do! Fastest shopping trip EVER! good. It getting later. kelsea isn't back. Her date shows up. We are waiting. She has a tremendous amount of hair. It's not just long but very thick. 3 hours later-and it's beautiful- she comes home and we throw her clothes on. We get her to the park on time for pictues. Everyone is already there but just got there.
We got great pictures this time. And then the date became a disaster.

Lee Joe is right about something with me. I am way to empathetic to point that I think I can be pathetic. When my kids struggle I feel everything right with them. They are upset-I feel the same pain. I feel the pain of the other kid involved as well. Then my other daughter is in another kind of heartbreak pain. I am feeling the pain of two kids at once and have to work really hard to separate myself from them. ugh. It was a rough night after all that work to try and make it special. The pictures make it look good though. We will imagine it that way.

I have quote of the week. Little girls comes up to me. This is the one that almost named me Mrs. Dorito. She was sad. "the kids don't believe me." She shakes her head. "don't believe what?" "well Lilly does but the rest don't" "What is it?" "they don't believe me that I am a werewolf. My sister saw me when I was sleeping that I am werewolf. They won't believe it." "I see" I say. "Well I think that is something you should be kind of quiet about and just tell your really good friends, cause that is kind of a scary thing to be don't you think." "Yeah. You want to hear me howl?" What a quirky girl.

Just so you know

2010-04-08T22:01:00.002-06:00

So today was nuts and I didn't have time for migraine but that is what I got. Could be because I had no fun the past 2 days.
I colonoscopy. For a recap. Everyone said the prep stuff-probably like 2 gallons of nasty, was nasty. Once I disguised it with Crystal light it was somewhat drinkable but I only drank a little more than hapf of it before I just felt like I had the flu-achy and my face was flushing and chills. I had some sinus crud going on to make it lovely and couldn't take anything. So my colonoscopy was 1 the next day. I thought I didn't do the prep right. I was worried I messed it up. Everyone told me though that I wouldn't remember anything. I mean everyone I talked to said that. They drugged me but it must not have been enough and I remember EVERYTHING. It was painful. Reminded me of having kids at one point. Yep, hurt like that. I saw what my insides look like and I remember EVERYTHING!! The results were, I guess, not bad. Healthy except for some internal hemmorids. Like anyone wants to really know that but at least I know. Not much I can do about that though.
And it's Spring. Spring gets as nuts as December. Not fun at all.

Kelsea is still having some friend drama but that is calming down a little.
Amber has changed her minor to Biomedical engineering. Her major is material something engineering. I can't remember it all. And she decided to try out for the Blue Thunder Marching Band. She is excited and I am for her too. They are so much fun.
My 3 youngest are keeping my free taxi service running. I am ready for summer vacation. I think it is 8 weeks away. Could be 7 but I need to look it up to be sure. No funny anecdotes today. I am too drugged I think.

What's up? Spring Break is over!

2010-04-03T14:25:00.002-06:00

Yep I am sad and am in a frumpy mood. That could be because the weather all week-the week of Spring break has been the worst. Rainy snowy and gloomy. I should be running out the door right now jumping up and down and rejoicing because it did clear up magically and it isn't too freezing out there. But I am putting off easter egg dying, finding Easter baskets, making beinyas because of the movie Princess and the Frog. Hannah will not give up on this today so I better get busy. In a minute.

A rundown of what we have done--
Lets see-there were 2 birthdays in one week this year and that week was the CRAZIEST one we have had in some time. Autumn got to participate in an All State choir that only comes to our part of Idaho like every 7 years. That was out in Nampa. That required transportion to a little town I never go to but maybe once every few years any more. So we took 5 girls out to an evening practice and then there was a concert the next day at 4. Who really makes a concert for kids at 4 in Nampa with a majority of the kids from Boise? I left work early with Hannah to go see it. And the man that directed them was an internationally known children's choir conductor of some sort. I will just believe what they say. But it was a very good concert. Then we had a sleep over with 11 and 12 year olds that weekend for Autumn. Needless to say after that week I was hammered.

Things don't want to let up. I am sure it's my own fault. I will take responsibility for the inability to say no. Now Autumn is doing track. Kelsea is doing tennis. I don't have to attend everything with her but I do like to show up. I am not telling you all the other things that were already going on. There are boyfriends for couple of girls-and some breaking up with boyfriends. One of the breaking up with boyfriends was because one certain girly can't be exclusive. That's ok with me. Then it came back to hurt her when a girlfriend became very jealous over a boy and is now doing things to intentionally hurt my kiddo who was her best friend. Yucky! That's so not good and I am not sure what to do with it. I am wondering how much of what they are doing is really like cyber-bullying to an extent and whether or not these other girls have decided to stop their obnoxious mean behavior or if it continuing on. Fun with teenagers in this day and age. You want to feel like a fish out of water? I feel like my days in high school is now ancient history and I am a little lost now in how to parent my teenagers. Well I am a better parent to younger kids and this whole teenager thing does make me want to crawl under a rock until it's over. But that would be a very long time.

So other than my grumbling about busy kids, working full-time, always feeling like I am buried with everything that needs to be done, the hard working hubby that is never home now-a-days when we are(but it is job and we are SOOO thankful for it even if isn't the one we would want forever)the teenage hormones, did I mention the misery of teenage girls? Yep, grumpfest. I need a vacation! Away from everything and everyone. Spring Break doesn't count! I am home all week with the kids and too worn out to be any fun, too overwhelmed to do anything but try to catch up on chores and pile reduction and I didn't really accomplish anything.

So I know that even though working is neccessary at this time. I am not happy with my job. But I am happy for the time off I get and the insurance. But I so much still want and need to be at home. I am writing something right now and it consumes my thoughts but my life in general eats up the time I want to spend working on it.

Another good thing-I have been forcing time for exercise. I have to make it happen and it happens at like 9 or later at night. But the good news is-even though I haven't lost much weight, I have lost about 2 inches all over. YAY! I have been doing lots of cardio and yoga both. But I am also trying to get the anxiety and depression relief from it and it's not helping that much yet. I guess I would be a lot worse off if I wasn't doing it.

There needs to be more good news. We got our first actual decent tax return in several years. I finally got a stove. A flat top stove with 4! yes 4 working burners!! No more family members trying to burn my house down. wink wink--haha....

I need to dig up some more good news. hmmmm.... I guess I will have to think about it for awhile. Oh, Autumn doesn't know this yet. But some people from her little Y-ball basketball team set up something super cool today. But in a recap- I probably didn't post much about how her team won in their 6th grade basketball tournament. The last game they were down by 3 and someone made a basket and a free throw in the last seconds in the game to tie it and they went into overtime and won! One of the parents drives a limo so in between games he drove the girls from the team in it around and then to the team party. That day was awesome for her. So tonight they are going to an Idaho Stampede game. That's our local basketball team. I forget which league they are considered but not quite NBA. The girls will be called down at the beginning of the game as 6th grade y-ball stampede champions and then they will get to do the tunnel when everyone comes out. Then afterwards they are going to get to have their jerseys signed by the players on the team. So that should be exciting. Maybe if I ever decide to post pictures again, you will get to see it. But of course it hasn't happened just yet! Ha!

Anyway, not the most uplifting post. I would have posted sooner but this gloomy mood of mine has been pretty persistent. I better go make those beinyas and see how they are. On my new stove!

Blog again

2010-03-27T22:21:00.000-06:00

Time to blog but will do it later. :)

Life in general

2010-03-05T21:17:00.002-07:00

I tell you-we are grateful for a job. The kind that has a paycheck attached to it. Lee Joe's job might not be perfect-or really far from it but it is one and it was hard to come by, so we are very thankful. Even if we never know what he is doing or where he is going until the day before and he is gone overnight or most evenings and since I am working and the kids are in school, we see him not too often. Like last night-he said he might be home by midnight and I woke up at 3am wide awake with no husband and where he parks the truck and loads the truck has no cell phone coverage so he can't tell me where he is. Remember in December-totaled car? So I was awake for 2 hours figuring he was tired and sleeping but now I was not. Once I did fall asleep at 5 am he was finally able to call me. Haha--go figure. Oh yeah-when he moves cows, he comes home soooooo smelly. BUT It is A JOB!!!! I just needed to get it off my chest and now I will continue to be thankful for every dollar and every free potato! Yep, those Simplot potatoes!

This week was a rough one. Had a little health issue. On antibiotics, a liquid diet for almost 2 days, a contrast CT scan the next to rule out appendicitis and some other things. Ruled all those things out and now on the path to a colonoscopy--yay fun....I missed 2 days of work. But I am feeling a little better. But the colonoscopy is in a couple of weeks.

As far as kids-- I can't remember if I reported on Amber doing well her first semester. She is on the Dean's list. Pretty proud of that. She is tutoring more at the jr high and earning a pretty good pay check until the end of the year. She is quite the trooper. The boyfriend got his mission call to Lithiuania and they promptly "broke-up" but they will wait and see how things are for the 2 of them when he comes home.
Kelsea in Spanish-"talks to much and not in spanish" I am still laughing about that one as I tell her to knock it off. She has big interest in psychology now but that teacher is "hot" so that is interesting to her too. Boys are interested in her and they like to leave random things on the doorstep. She got a "Dear John" movie poster last night. We don't know why or who or what reason. Then she wished the boys will just go away. But one that REALLY likes her and is so cutely shy and left her the cutest basket ever for valentines day and he gave her penguin with a scarf that he knitted himself! KNITTED HIMSELF!! Anyways, he is about to go on a mission to Arizona.

Kylee is consumed by the jr high realm. She is doing well. But is so quiet and mysterious right now. Autumn is getting enrolled and prepped for her journey to that all consuming place full of hormones and silliness. Blech. I didn't sign the contract for this part. If I bury my head will all go away? Will it pass painlessly that way? I wish.

Hannah is her smarty pants sassy self. Telling me things like "my name is Hyperbole!" Making her own mother feel like a uneducated ding-a-ling as I ask "Do you know what that means?" "It's an exAGER-A-tion" I look it up to find out how to spell and see if she was right. Yep she was. And since she is eight and I have enjoyed most of my children very much before the age of eight-well I am in parental mourning and know that the next little creatures I will get my hands on will be grandkids.

And I really want to mention the passing of one special lady. Her name was Linda Blakeslee. She was the sweetest woman. I enjoyed when she taught lessons at church so very much. I knew where ever she taught, whoever was learning from her was being taught well. She worked at Wal-Mart for awhile in the fabric department and I would visit with her there whenever I ran into her when she was working. That was quite often. She had a round of cancer 4 years ago and she beat it. 2 years ago she lost her son when he commited suicide and left behind his 2 year old son. She was always bringing the grandson to church after that, even before that but it was different afterward. I had so much respect and love for her and admired her for the woman she was and the example in perserverance and her smile warmed your heart. The cancer came back and it was terminal. She lived longer than expected and she passed away last week. It is such a sad thing to see someone so beautiful inside and out leave this world. But I know she doesn't suffer anymore and has peace. She had the chance to plan her funeral. Her husband shared some of those details. But I revelled in the fact that I knew the same beautiful person that her husband, son and grandchildren described. She lived her life well with such warmth to all those she touched. Again, beautiful. And yet in the end she was so afraid she wasn't worthy enough. Enoch never felt worthy, Neither did Nephi. All who knew her just would know that she was. I felt it a special priviledge to have her touch my life. Even as she planned her funeral and told her husband he only had 20 minutes to talk and he set an alarm clock on the podium to keep his word, I think she had enough time to plan one more thing. The day of her funeral was the most beautiful warm spring like day we have had. It was like she was worried for the in-laws and the elderly people that attended, that they might get a chill so the day should be warm and it should be sunny so everyone would feel comfort and happy it felt like spring so they would not be so sad. I am pretty sure she finished planning those details even after she left this earth and now she can rest. She is missed and loved by many and I am so thankful I could have called someone like her a friend.

AHHH!!!

2010-03-04T20:18:00.002-07:00

Do you ever feel like your house exploded? Or how about the paper coming out of sort of paper creating volcano, you just wish you could find out where it was coming from. Or the mountain building earth shattering creation of laundry that creates whole mountain ranges. How about the ever reproducing dirty dishes? Waves of stuff just about everywhere. Oh, what an epiphany! Is that what the celestial kingdom will be like just more blissful?

Mom moments

2010-01-24T00:09:00.003-07:00

This morning my oldest daughters had themselves a spat. "MOM!!!" you know that tone they use, the tattling one. They still have it down at 16. "Mom!!! Amber made my toothbrush fall in the toilet and she won't take it out!" huh? "She threw a shirt at me and it made my toothbrush fall in the toilet and now she won't pick it up!" So who's fault is it really? And I can't determine who should fish it out of the toilet. Great way to start the day. Thankfully dad intervened but I am happily in the dark about who got to pull it out of the toilet.

Fun at Chuck E Cheese today. Really you ask? Now really it is just throw tokens at a bunch of super happy and excited super cute 7-10 year olds. I informed my brood that they were coming to help. I didn't mind that they didn't show up with me but I did start to mind after every invited child showed up and all my help was no where to be found. After they finally arrived, the begging for their own tokens started. My help was lost when it came to the pizza. Off, all playing Skee ball together after I had most of the invited children at the table. Then the post birthday girl (she did have her birthday in December, mid January allowed plenty of Christmas recovery time before throwing the birthday party) was last to be found and brought to the table. We were ready to do cupcakes, twice I had to ask my "help" to return to the table. I sent kids packing with more tokens after presents were opened. My biggest "helpers" sat at the table texting. The dad was lost in a virtual reality kind of game. Kylee kept feeding the game tokens. I wondered several times if he had left but he was still there. It was still a fun day and a super easy party. I was able to come home to messy house. I put a small dent in the mess. I would have put a bigger dent in it but someone on Facebook-not me- accidentally clicked on something that downloaded one of those horrible viruses on the computer. I am always the one though that gets to try and recover the computer even though I am really not all that computer gifted. I have spent my entire evening trying to fix it and I think I have finally accomplished that now that it is midnight and I am blogging as I have it scanned one last time. AVG couldn't find it. But I found something that finally found a ton of crap on my computer. It is Malwarebytes anti-malware. I could download it for free and it really has worked. I found it through a CNET recommendation. Oh yes, I sound so smart but not really. We will see. I am pretty sure so far that it did the trick.

I have been reflecting on one special revelation from this past week. There are times I don't like my job-the one that pays me. But sometimes I need to reflect on those special moments. There are a couple of girls that lost their mom when the little one was pretty young. Dad is doing a great job. They walk to school most days and when they run a little late they run most of the way. They always share stuff with me before they cross the street. Their dad was gone for the weekend and just came back that evening he gave the girls some souvenirs from his trip before they had to go to school. They were SO excited to show me what he gave them. Another dad with 2 girls saw this. When he came back across the street he commented something about the girls and how "some kids just really are an open book" comment. But I told him that they had lost their mom. That they are like that with me. But I didn't know what else to say. That dad's face just fell and it was like he was instantly sad and reflected on his own girls. He thought about how hard it would be to not have a mom to their hair. I can see that there is a little void in their life and they sure do like to share stuff with me. The youngest hugged my leg when I went into her classroom the other day. I am not their mom but I get little opportunities to share happy little girl things with them. Maybe in the end it is not the paycheck I should be there for. It is just to have an opportunity to be something positive in over 500 kids lives. Okay, there are some days some kids might not like me in the end. Some days I don't like all of them. There have been some really rough days. No wonder the Savior loved little kids so much. There is nothing better than to be loved by a kid.

Even when an 18 year old and a 16 year old are bantering over who's fault it is that there is a toothbrush in the toilet, there is nothing better than to have that title of mom and to feel mommy-ish to all those you come in contact with. At the end of the day it is still okay to the shut the door and tell them to go away. Darn it-moms get tired!!

I just wanted to share a snippet of my mommyhood. I would call it super human feats of amazingness but every mom fills those shoes so it really is just quite ordinary.

Should I post something new?

2010-01-11T19:33:00.003-07:00

I think some of the bloggers in the bloggin world have called it quits. But I noticed the interest in Facebook is waning as well but I think it is because they keep changing it and gets harder and harder to see what you want.

So anyways, Christmas was nice, once I could talk and stop coughing up a lung. It was still very nice and we were very blessed.

Lee Joe's job is working out fine for now. Jobs and paychecks and wonderful things to have. And knowing when the paycheck will show up is great too.

We almost have the settlement on the car. We are getting far more than I expected. We may have our next car lined up.

Hannah turned 8. She was baptized the Saturday after her birthday. Devanie came and helped make her baptism super special. Besides the fact that she came with cousins in tow. But she brought the most beautiful dress and accessories for Hannah to wear with it. She was so very excited from like Christmas until the 3rd of January. She got her ears pierced on her birthday. That is when my girls have been able to make the choice to get their ears pierced.

Kelsea is still fighting illnesses as well. She got her blood drawn today. She is on some strong anitibiotics. We are hoping to kick whatever is trying to nail her once again.

Amber and Kelsea are in the process of changing rooms. It is a decision they made together and they are doing the work together. I am not involved. They are funny-when Kelsea is feeling well. Kelsea just makes hilarious comments about everything and Amber laughs her head off the whole time. If you have seen her profile pictures on Facebook-well it is like that all the time. Some boys came over during Christmas break and she was mortified over our old family picture from about 5 or 6 years ago. She is not embarrassed over wearing green mud on her face for all her friends to see?

Amber has finished her first semester in college with 3.8 GPA!!! She was taking calculus, chemistry and intro to engineering. WOW!! She blows me away. She has a job tutoring at the jr high. So she is doing well.

Kylee and Autumn are doing very well. They are healthy at the moment, playing instruments like their bog sisters and having pre-teen and just turned teen spats. PMS is becoming a consistent visitor around here. I can do without that.

Like always, I need to post lots of pictures. So much has happened in December alone. Wow!

Lee Joe's turn to be sick. He just came home running a fever. He has the flu. Of course he thinks he might faint. I need to go put him to bed, poor guy.

Christmas-It's here too fast!

2009-12-23T23:07:00.002-07:00

I have liked baking at times. I don't like the mess I have in the end. I realize I depend a lot on labels on items for my baking-

Rice Krispie treats-usually on the box- Not this year. Had to Google it
Muddy Buddies-On the Rice CHex box at Christmas time.
Fudge-Favorite recipe ever is on the marshmallow creme container. It's easy and almost always yummy.
Toffee cookiesLove cookies made with Toffee bits that you can find at Wal-mart. I use the recipe on the package and they are a big hit.
Sugar cookies-I was ready to give up on those until I found a recipe that calls for you to use Cream Cheese. I found that recipe at Kraft.com. They are my favorite now and they are easy, you don't need to chill and they stay soft after you bake them.
I have a chocolate chip cookie a friend gave me. I might have to share that one later.

I have been terribly sick. Could be the great outdoors that did me in this year. I usually get some form of larygitis with a cold this time of year. Never have I lost my voice permanently for days. It was gone for 3 days. It is still struggling to come back for 3 days since. I have the worst cough so I am pretty sure I have a wonderful bout of bronchitis. It's been hard to get things done this week because I have felt so bad. Today is the best day and I started with some kitchen stuff. I have made only the rice kripie treats and muddy buddies.

We have been touched by the genorosity of others like never before. Someone we know came by the house on Thursday, the day after the red car was totaled, and gave us a $500 dollar gift card to the mall. I have never been so overwhelmed in my life. We have also received gift cards to Winco too. I have never been more grateful for the love of others.

Lee Joe started his new job last week. We are thankful he has a job. He drives 50 minutes to work. The weather has been awful and he is driving cattle trucks all over. Hard job. Hard work and long hours. It was on his way home, his first week, 3rd day when he lost control of the car went off the road. He was checking the tires to see if any were flat when another car came around the corner and lost control and hit the car. He was not in the car and in absolutely the safest place he could have been standing when the car was hit. We are amazed he is safe. We are without a car but we have enough cars to be OK. I say again how lucky he was to be where he was when that car came around that corner. So we are counting our blessings and will hopefully start to feel some relief soon in other areas as well.

Wonderful things have happened even though I am whining about my health again and some of the challenges seem so much smaller now.

Here is to 2010 making 2009 disappear because of it's greatness.

Merry Christmas Everyone!!

The good news is....

2009-12-13T20:18:00.002-07:00

All I wanted for Christmas was good news. And it has finally come. We had good news regarding our house payment, I may be able to get a discount on our phones because I work for the school and Lee Joe finally has A JOB!! It was felt like almost a year at least of struggling and the last six months have been hard. When I heard he got the job with Simplot I think I wasn't ready to believe it yet until I heard more. But he starts tomorrow. We went out this weekend and we both could feel the relief. We sighed great big sighs of relief over and over.

I have been grateful that I have a job. Weeks like last week are pretty rough. It was below 0 or like 3 or 4 degrees in the morning every day last week. Even though the kids can come in, I still have to be outside for the crosswalk in the morning. Our principal was wonderful and spelled me off so I wasn't out that long. Inside recess all week is a big pain in the month of December to make even more so. I have this cold now. I get it every December. I have a really soft voice but then you give me a case of laryngitis and it is ridiculous. I was SO frustrated. I can't talk loud enough to be heard. I feel like yelling sounds like a whisper. Everyone told me to stay home on Friday so I did. Even though I have been inside all weekend I am not much better. Oh well. We have this big stake choir thing though. I thought for sure I couldn't sing and would have to just mouth the words. I was pleasantly surprised that I could sing. We sang the Hallelujah chorus in the end and then I started coughing after that and had no voice for Silent Night but was able to sing everything else. Amazing!

I am happy to report- and why I am so silly excited over this, I don't know- But I went to the dentist for the first time in several years and my teeth are healthy, no cavities. They went ahead and cleaned my teeth and my gums were healthy too. I liked that good news.

We are getting ready for Christmas with a big sigh of relief thank goodness. I am very happy about that. One more week of school and I am off too. I like that as well. We have had snow and it has finally warmed up. I hope we can send the kids out at the school to have fun in the snow.

I like good news.

All I want for Christmas....

2009-11-27T22:32:00.002-07:00

I decided earlier this week if anyone were to ask me what I wanted for Christmas that I was going to tell them that All I want for Christmas is Good News. From a pukey flu, sore throat thing, to one thing after another and then someone stole my husbands identity and then applied for credit. It looks like they have new teeth for the trouble they are causing us. I thought my stress level couldn't get any higher. But I have found some great ways to manage. So when I came home from work on Friday I finally got some good news. It is a start. I am not going to divulge here but it finally felt good for once. It felt like Heavenly Father gave me a hug.

I have gone into Thanksgiving with great thanks for good news and how much I have really missed hearing something good come my way.

We had a very nice dinner here with my kids and my mom. Who knows if Amber will want to be around us all next year.

Here is to good news and yes I would still like to hear good news-That is Good news that is meant for me and my house.

I love my house and all it's imperfections.

Good news?

2009-11-05T17:53:00.002-07:00

Yeah, I am not blogging the way I use to and Yeah, I need to find my positive energy. I wish there was great news. I guess it's great that in spite of all the hard things our family is struggling with, my kids have had some good reports from their teachers. And that is blessing. But we have been slammed with Swine flu's aftermath with one kid, infected toes and cysts in embarrassing locations on other children. The recession and joblessness still reigns and the cars are beginning to come up with their own afflictions and well, I am ready for the turn for the worst to end and the turn for the better to show up on my roadmap. So this and all past blogs are dreary enough.

October curse

2009-10-23T19:57:00.003-06:00

By the way this week went, I think this October is cursed. The whole month has been rough. It has been a very rough week. I felt like it was Friday on Thursday and didn't think I could make it through Friday and it was one grand finale day.

I print the awards at the school for student of the month and personal best. I print 42 individual awards, 3 class awards and a volunteer award every month. you would have thought this was the first time I ever printed awards with how many times I messed it up and how much paper I wasted in the process. Then two were put in the shredder box with all my mess ups and they were good awards. Thank goodness that stuff waits to get sent to the shredder. And then even the teachers acted like they didn't know how the process worked. By some feat of super human diligence all the awards were ready at 9:00 this morning for the 9:15 awards assembly. That was it's own struggle along with double activities a few days this week. Two concerts on the same night at 2 different schools meant I missed one. But thank goodness Lee Joe made one of them.

Kelsea is dealing with another heavy duty round of illness. She was taken to the doctor Monday. They said it was a cold. She still went downhill all week. She went back today and they said it was probably some sort of secondary bacterial infection that set in because she was weakened by the H1N1 virus. NOW she is on antibiotics and she has missed 8 days of school in 3 weeks. Lee Joe has taken several of the girls in to the doctor these past 3 weeks. Today Lee Joe finally got a good dose of trying to deal with 3 kids visiting the doctor at once and it was all pretty serious stuff. Kelsea had her blood drawn and was tested for strep again. She doesn't handle needles well at all. Amber had some serious pain in her tailbone that got really bad over the course of 3 days. She had a cyst. I guess it was a really big one. So she was cut open and grossness took place and she is draining I guess. She has to go in again to see a doctor tomorrow to change the packing and again on Monday. Autumn went in a couple weeks ago with an infected toenail. She was on antibiotics and now it is much worse so she had parts of both big toenails removed today. They said they were in really deep. So we left the doctor with 6 prescriptions today. I showed up at the end of their visit to get the prescriptions so I could get them filled while Lee Joe took all the sick and sliced children home. Autumn's toes are wrapped. Amber prefers to lay on her stomach and Kelsea had to leave the clinic with a face mask. Visiting my doctors office was disturbing. I have gone to the same clinic since I was pregnant with Kylee. They had plastic shields covering the gaps in the glass for all the ladies at the sign in desk and there were people all over the waiting room with masks on. I really felt like I was entering into a danger zone. But I am around 500 kids all day and so many of them have had this I am not too disturbed about it and I am pretty sure I had it first anyway. But man, it is really bad here. But in our house this weekend I suppose we are calling it Recovery weekend.

So good news-Kylee tried out for honor band and made it. She is proud of herself and I am so happy for her. Only 3 kids from our jr high are in it. We know people who made it so a car pool may take place and I love that!

More bad news-Kelsea has been doing Color guard with the band all season. She missed all week because of her crud and they changed all the choreography this week, so she can't perform for DIII this weekend. She feels like she has wasted her time and I am so bummed.

Lee Joe is trying to find work. I am struggling with all this stuff. I am waiting for it to let up. I have had a sense of humor about it all and had some good laughs but I seemed to have misplaced it right now. I keep teasing Amber that she was trying to grow a tail but she doesn't think that is as funny as I think it is.

Blechyville

2009-10-14T22:24:00.002-06:00

That sick piggy thing made a pit stop at our house and decided to stick around awhile. Kelsea has had and recovered from it. We got her into the dr right away and they gave her Tamiflu so she was sick but not in the worst way. I was concerned because her lungs are still compromised from pneumonia this past spring and I heard how someone's neice was in ICU after just 3 days and she came down with pneumonia. Kelsea had a good day on Saturday-plus she was determined to go to homecoming. She made it to Homecoming but came home early. Party the date and partly that flu. She missed 3 days of school with the weekend in between. Of course Monday child number 2 was hit. Autumn started running a fever. We got her in right away. No Tamiflu for her or cough medicine with codeine and she is my croupy cougher. I guess Kelsea was considered high risk. Lee Joe took them in so I am not sure if they told him that and he didn't remember or what. Autumn has run a really high fever for 3 days now. I called the dr this morning because she couldn't breathe this morning and I wanted some cough medicine at least for her but they never called me back until after 5. Good thing she felt a little better. Not much though. So they called in the prescription but the pharmacy wouldn't fill it because they wanted an actual signature from the dr. She has no voice from the congestion. her throat is killing her and she has the most wicked cough that hurts her throat more. I could go on more about my headache with that but I just hope she doesn't have to go to the ER. She looked a smidgen better just now going to bed. So I hope that means she is turning around. And the PA I talked to said "You know they just feel really bad." She is telling this to a mom of 5 trying to care for number 4. Yeah, I know.

So then last night I thought I was getting sick with a cold. I was coughing and my nose was miserable. My chest was hurting and I couldn't breathe. Before bed I thought I would treat it like allergies so maybe I could breathe. Then everything felt much better within a half an hour except my eyes were hurting and bothering me. I thought something was in one of my eyes and it wouldn't stop. Then my eyes kept sealing shut and My right eye got really swollen. I looked pretty scary. I had to call a sub and no one picked up my job. I went to the doctor. Tried to get my wonderful nasal spray refilled. Ran into problems with that. My insurance doesn't want to cover it. Veramyst is absolutely the best allergy spray EVER!! My doctor offered to give me a sample to get by until we figure out if the insurance will cover it so that was a trip on the other side of town. But it was worth it. That is the stuff that calmed everything down last night.

I am rambling. But basically I remember the days when a doctor visit was maybe 30 dollars without insurance. And medications maybe cost 50 dollars for an expensive one. And now everything is ridiculously high priced and so are the doctor's visits because of all the people they have to hire to go back and forth with insurance companies. In the end the insurance company is who wins out everytime. When I didn't have insurance I would get shafted with extra fees the doctors office was making up from their contractual obligations to insurance companies and now I am shafted by the insurance company and I am still paying for what they have decided is pre-existing conditions. I don't think Obama has it figured out. But I think everyone would be better off without insurance companies dictating everything. That is where the problem is. Insurance. I am stepping off my soapbox now. Goodnight.

Week of the run over

2009-10-07T20:19:00.002-06:00

This is one of those weeks that run you over. Yeah, so 4 kids to the dentist one day ( two with cavities that I have to schedule appts for and a wisdom tooth consult to schedule too.), my dr's appt the next and figure out how 2 kids are getting home at different times and then there is one more appt to finish the week with. One has started elementary basketball, and honor choir this week. there is the school carnival. On top of one in tennis (thank goodness she can walk to and from the jr high) one in color guard and playing in the homecoming powder puff football game and the performance at the game on Fri and the dance on sat and now she is coming down with a sickness. She says it is starting like her pneumonia did. Ugh. SO yeah, I am complaining like I do so well but it really is no surprise yet the bonus is having enough cars so enough of them can drive. That's good.

There is my week and yet I have a little time in the evenings to decompress some. But I am ready to schedule myself a mental health day but I will wait until things settle down some so it's worth it.

Wait, so I have to share today. We had a 911 emergency that was weird with an adult on the sidewalk outside the school. Then another person- a friend, had a passing out episode of some sort and we almost had to call 911 again. Kids were given these little strobe light whistle things for walking to school. Having about 50 kids blowing these things on the playground at once is like some sort human torture device. NERVE WRACKING!! and then Amber's boyfriend's mom is the PTO president and she is organizing the school carnival. She calls the office and says "Hi, this is ---- I am stuck in the attic." I laugh. But I don't know where the attic is. She tells me so I find her. She is scared of heights and doesn't want to climb down the ladder without help. But she really did need another person there to hold it but she also didn't know where the light switch was so I turned on the light and saved her. Ok not really all that heroic but after our day any little boost counts right? That was almost like a week full of little crisis rolled into one and it isn't even a full moon anymore.

Nough said!!

Birthdays and flus

2009-09-26T21:29:00.002-06:00

So I should mention first of all that today is Kylee's birthday. My middle child is 13 years old. She has been one of my easiest at times of my kids. She is really laid back-almost too much at times. She goes with the flow. She just had a great day with her grandma and was spoiled beyond belief but she had a great day. We were both treated to lunch at the Olive Garden by my mom as well. My favorite place EVER!! So she got all the Teen girly girl stuff. Make-up, nail polish, some clothes, jewelry and a DS game. She was very excited.

Then my mom threw in my birthday tonight and I got a Wii fit. I like it a bunch.

I think I might have been hit with the H1N1 virus last week. I had the symptoms and was down for 4 days. I didn't know that is what it was when I started to feel it coming on Saturday morning as I was away from home. I had a very nice weekend in spite of being sick, in Jordan Utah at a time out for women event. I had one of the best dinner's out at a mexican restaurant before I parted ways with Devanie and Her in-laws. I have still been feeling not quite myself all week so I hope this thing doesn't rebound. blech....

Music

2009-09-15T22:06:00.002-06:00

So I am really liking some music right now. Why I am posting it- well I feel like sharing somewhere. I don't want to do a music link on the side so you will have to chesk it out.

I am so liking this one funky song-- It is "Say Hey (I love you)" By Michael Franti. It is such a fun song.

I just got two more songs that are totally different and LOVE them. They are By Priscilla Ahn and they are "Dream" and "In a Tree" That one is currently on some car commercial and that is what led me to both so there you go.

Just watch the biggest looser while riding a stationary bike-- Motivating!!!! There is woman on the show that lost her hubby and two kids in a car accident. Breaks yout heart completely but she is there for herself. And then there is the biggest woman ever on the show that grew up in foster care and is a social worker now. Gotta love her. You want them all to stay so much longer than they ever let any of them stay.

So in the coming week or two I complain about everyone being sick- it should be no surprise. More than half the 6th grade was sick yesterday. Today we were sending kids home that had fevers but didn't look sick. No nurse in the afternoon. I was the nurse. YUCK!! I washed and washed my hands.

I need to be doing something else somewhere else. Just wanted to throw some random tidbits out there.

Where did I go?

2009-09-12T00:44:00.002-06:00

Yes, life has become hectic again. I have been more loyal to Facebook than blogging. But I guess mainly because of exhaustion. Even though this week would be considered a short one it was a rough one to get through all the way around. It feels like we have been back over a month but it has only been two weeks.

Amber is adjusting to college life just fine but she keeps to herself mostly and she kid just spend a week with her boyfriend's family watching his 4 younger brothers while he was in Utah and his parents were on an Alaskan cruise. She was given a little trinket box from Russia and I said "Why did they give you something from Russia when they went to Alaska?" And she says "I can see Russia from my house" With her Tina Fey acting like Sarh Palin voice. It was funny to me but I might have just been hysterically tired. One little mishap which I also find funny. The cable on their suburban decided to break when she drove it to our house with the boys. Since we couldn't release it, the suburban had to stay here overnight. They have personalized plates so every who knows them that decides to drive by our house- on the busy street we live on- would know who's car that was. Lee Joe was able to release it later Sunday. But as soon as the mom and dad got home, they made the mistake of pushing the brake in and got stuck in their driveway and the red car had a flat. That was one welcome home for them.

Kelsea is not liking high school so much but that's because it is school. She is flag waving in band. Alright, she is doing color guard.

Kylee has transformed into a very social jr high kid. It is like she grew up all of a sudden. Kind of funny to watch the change because it is dramatic.

It is just Autumn and Hannah and I going to the elementary school. Autumn is starting to play the flute this year. Hannah has a wonderful teacher and most of the students in her class are great with the exception of one. They have had to evacuate the class a couple times and he has an behavior interventionist and he has been sent home several times and we just finished the second week of school. I am not happy about this at all. Especially since Hannah's class has strict criteria to be in it and someone has bulldozed their way around and through it at the expense of many. So I will leave that there.

We are here. And life is not going to slow down for some time. I am just trying to get use to it again.

At work again

2009-08-27T21:38:00.002-06:00

Ummm.. Vacation in over for me. I am sad and wishing for the good old days. But what is fun with the lack of schedule with no kids is I have gone out to lunch a few times with friends from school that I normally don't get to have lunch with. The kids start on Monday. But Amber started this week too. I am exhausted every day. Oh well.

Lee Joe is trying to find work. There has been very little and a lot of waiting without good news.

Such as it is. I wish I had good things to report. It's Friday eve. There's the good. One more day to go before the weekend.

pictures promised

2009-08-10T17:07:00.005-06:00

Here are my pictures. Not sure the order. I am still getting the computer jargon when the pictures upload and I am tolazy to preview. I know there is one of my tile job. Two of Hannah's cute glasses. The rest are of our hike from our little daytrip to Twin falls to Jared's house. We met Janika and had time to hang out for lunch and go on a couple of really short hikes with all the kids and take some pictures and then we had to come home so the 2 oldest could go see all the kids about to leave for college. So far the biggest event of our summer.

I am here

2009-08-08T23:07:00.002-06:00

I haven't gone far. Just to Twin Falls and back today but other than that I have been sitting here at home. Not doing much. Kidney stones have calmed down only to make for a migraine battle. But I have been very successful in fighting those off. here is my rejoicing in that--Hooray!! YAY!! WOOHOO!!! The weather is crazy cool but that's nice, but probably the source of my headaches. So the days are ticking to when school and work starts for me again. I am trying to make everyday last as long as I can. Well, going to bed a 2am most days is not the best way to make summer last but the freedom is great.

My next post will need a bunch of pictures but I am not posting those yet.

Kidney Stone

2009-07-27T23:47:00.003-06:00

Something has been a brewing. I just didn't realize it until it was too late. Devanie has felt my pain. And yes it is THE worst. As if migraines themselves weren't enough of an affliction. But I have a stone causing me some misery all of sudden. I haven't had one do this for a while. Yep, lack of water, too much sitting and writing on my laptop and too much soda and maybe some of the new medications causing a flare up. I hope it feels better tomorrow.

I have pictures of Hannah in her new glasses to post and my nice little tile job. I will post them later.

Waiting.....

2009-07-21T19:10:00.003-06:00

And Waiting...I seem to be waiting so much for all sorts of things that UGH summer is slipping away.

So Hannah's super cute glasses should be in by now but are not. I was waiting for something that help us out tons here and that took almost 2 weeks when they said a few days. We wait for every check Lee Joe is suppose to get until we are almost at our wits end. As of Friday it is one month until I have to be back at work and things will be picking up with things to do with the kids.

Lee Joe keeps applying for every job he can find and every job gets inundated with applicants. 150-200! people applying for one job. He is getting bits and pieces here and there but those are the things we have wait forever for.

The good things-The 3 little girls did summer reading and got a bunch of free stuff for it. They got to do the first thing today and go to the Discovery Center. I didn't go so no pictures. Lee Joe has never been there so he took the girls for a little while and Amber hung out with them until they were ready to come home. I am fixing my mom's laundry closet door for some extra money. So I got that started. I was able to do some serious grocery shopping. The house is stocked for the first time this summer. Good feeling there.

It is nice to be so low key with out much to do. I will be very reluctant to shift gears when school starts. It is super hot so you really don't want to go far or do much. Hopefully though we can find some more pool time. I will try to get some more projects finished and a garage sale in the works so more good to come I guess. I have been writing. Staying up ridiculous hours doing it but I am so into it that it's so cool. I am finishing up Aurora's doll right now. She has been kind of finished but just needs a couple of little things. I just love it. She looks like a little Anne of Green Gables doll. Pictures will be coming of that. Oh yeah, I finally grouted some tile that has been unfinished for 2 years this summer. I needed to caulk around the counter top back splash but the caulk spent too much time in the garage and was more like nasty vaseline so now I have to clean that up and redo it and THEN I can sand and paint the walls so I will post pictures of that home improvement task here soon. I love the tile. So on that positive note I end this burble.

Harry Potter

2009-07-15T12:54:00.004-06:00

Kelsea was SOOOO excited for this Harry Potter movie to come out. She looked up when movies were playing it for the midnight premiere and bought us tickets several weeks ago. She knows I read the books and enjoy it so she bought me one to and I got to hang out with all her teenager friends. The movies theater we went to downtown didn't have any movies playing that night except for Harry Potter in all 8 theaters. She left at 9 and panicked and told me I should come because there were so many people there. Even if you had a ticket for a certain time, they told everyone to just pick a theater. So for the time leading up to the movie we saw all the people dressed up like characters from the movie or just Harry Potter excitement all over them. Kelsea dressed up like Ginny. She made herself a wand which I did not get a picture of, days earlier. She wore Amber's graduation gown and went to savers to get a clip on tie. One of the radio stations took a picture of Kelsea. We are waiting still to see if they post it. It was like 95% teenagers at the midnight showing. I waited in the theater with all the teenagers- Kelsea had a huge group of friends-from like 10 until the movie started at 12. It let out at 3am. And it was sold out so all the theaters were packed. The movie was well done and is like the lead in to last movie or movies- one of the kids said they are making the last book into 2 movies. They probably should. When it ended everyone was like "Uh, the end?" it was a good ending spot but you are kind of like wanting more. I need to reread the last 2 books now.

New glasses

2009-07-11T11:40:00.002-06:00

The best news is that Hannah was overdue for a new eyeglass prescription. The even better news is that she doesn't have to wear a foil on her lens anymore. She really was kind of tired of it anyways. That's why she didn't wear her glasses all the time. I have insurance that I could all the girls on for eye care. Medicaid gives you little selection. So we were excited to shop for the really cute glasses. There are the absolute cutest Disney Princess eyeglasses they have out now. We bought a pair a few years ago when we had some eye care insurance and I loved them. Hannah picked out the CUTEST pair on Thursday. Check this out. Her pair is purple and pink. I will post pictures of her when we get them. She is so excited to get them!
http://www.bestbuyeyeglasses.com/disney-princess-giselle/298336.html

What the foil has done--- She sees about 20/25-to 20/30 with glasses on with the eye that has the persistent pupillary membrane. She was 20/40 with glasses on when we started. That is pretty good improvement. The other eye does a REALLY good job of seeing and that is why we had to put the foil on. It really was a little piece of clear looking plastic film that obscured the vision in her good eye. Check out those glasses, they are super cute.

Yesterday I spent the entire day at Boise State University at Orientation. Ugh. I didn't realize I needed to be there until Thursday night. But I learned a lot about things I needed to know to get Amber prepared even though she is going to be doing most of this herself. We got a free lunch and free dinner while we were there. I came home with a migraine. Too much sitting I guess. A lot to take in. I was suppose to go back this morning for at least half the day but there wasn't much more I needed to do. Amber was signing herself up for her classes anyway without my help. I did meet some parents from around the country. I met a nice lady from Chicago and a couple people from Los Angeles. It was fun to hear other parents from around the country ask questions about Boise and Idaho, about weather and driving laws and just other little funny things you take for granted living here. Amber went on a tour of the campus and she has been in and around it so much in her high school years that it was more like revisiting places she had been. The neat thing I came away with was a new perspective on the university and how it is settled in a really neat location where the kids can have really fantastic college experience. I guess you have to know Boise and what it has to offer and what is down town to really appreciate it. The lady from LA really likes it here and that has the city feel but not overwhelmingly so. They make a really big deal about it being one of the top 5 bike friendly cities in the nation. So yeah, I like this place and I just appreciate it more and I am glad Amber is sticking around to go to school. We are maybe 10 minutes away from the university and that is mostly just waiting for stoplights. She could ride her bike on the greenbelt and get there in 15 or 20 minutes. And yeah, I am burbling on.

A mystery....

2009-07-04T19:29:00.004-06:00

What? Two blogs in one day? Due to the pictures coming into my blog in computer jargon I will post two. But this one should be on it's own anyway.

This is all we can find of Hannah's glasses. It has been several weeks and still this all we can find. I asked her to go get her glasses and put them on and she came back with this. I know they were on a little table between the recliner and the giant beanbag we have. There are no lenses and no other bits of metal. I have looked in and beside and under the recliner. Under the bean bag. No evidence. It is still a lingering mystery as to what happened to Hannah's glasses. I am baffled. Perhaps one of the girls broke them and has not fessed up and threw away all the bits they found to cover up the accident. But I still don't know.

What's up?

2009-07-04T19:00:00.012-06:00

Oh I don't know. But then I remember what since today is the first day all week I am not grieved by an incredible sunburn. We went to Roaring Springs waterpark. The 3 youngest earned free tickets to go but they weren't as good of a deal in July and August so we went on the last day of the month. I wasn't as diligent as I made the kids about wearing sunscreen. But I put it on myself and them many times. We go at least once a summer and have come home sunburn free. So don't ever buy Equate sunscreen from Wal-mart. Banana Boat is the best. Kylee is allergic to Coppertone. With that lesson learned:
By the way, I would caption these but for some reason in Edit mode my pictures are a bunch of computer jargon. I need to figure out how to fix that.
Here is fun in the sun later to be captioned too much fun in the sun.

Lee Joe's birthday

2009-06-29T15:27:00.003-06:00

Well.... Lee Joe had a birthday. He is getting old and crusty. Haha. I get to live the old part up for 3 months until I am right there with him. Sunday birthdays are tough. They wind up being uneventful but this one didn't have potential at this moment to be eventful. So for his birthday I made Jell-o. I don't make it very often, it's not hard just I don't know why so it really is a treat. And that was his birthday. The girls made tacos. He made homemade tortillas for them and there you have it. Not my usual birthday celebration at all. He left to go to Burley for a job. Leaving for a job here is a good thing. Just for Monday though.

So these migraines are taking a complete toll on my mental capacities. It is that or extreme stress-the stress can cause migraines so maybe it is both. I mentioned the pancake almost fiasco ordeal. I have had a hard time following simple instructions for recipes lately. I have done it several times in the past few weeks. I have never been like this. I messed up Jell-o. But not in a bad way. I forgot to add 2 more cups of cold water so it was almost jiggler consistency. It was still good so not the end of the world. I am having a hard time keeping my train of thought straight. I will say things totally messed up from what I was saying and have no clue what I just said. The kids are always wondering what I am talking about. I hate it. I read a about a study that was done and it said that it is possible that migraines cause some damage to the brain. If I could remember what I read I could explain it better and now I can't find it. That might explain some of this, I don't know. I am not old enough to be having this much trouble.

Some fun is in store. Lee Joe has worked all this past week. The little girls all earned free tickets to the water park here. We need to use them by tomorrow and it is finally in the 90's so we are going to play in the water tomorrow. I enjoy going there a ton even if I don't go on all the slides.

I am sewing and writing on the laptop and trying to do what I enjoy at home and I like the fact that June took it's time even with all the added yuck. Amber's been renting movies since she is 18 and can have her own account and has the money to do it. So we are enjoying those bennies from her. I hope things will keep a slow pace for the rest of the summer. But it might not. I applied for a job that would be temporary until I start back at the school. I am pretty indifferent about it. If it happens it is helpful. If not I can still do my at home projects.

Oh and one more thing. Kelsea was asked on 2 dates this weekend. She is so funny. She doesn't enjoy it much. She is totally like super excited for the new Harry Potter movie.

My girls have planned their first road trip. They are headed to Utah for the 4th of July still. I think I already mentioned that. Oh well. Got keep my brain working.

Yeah, Ok, that is life up here in my neck of the woods.

Dolls

2009-06-25T21:27:00.002-06:00

I suppose this is about to be a doll making summer. This is my latest and many more are to come. I would like to try and sell a couple on Etsy. It was suggested to me from some friends on Facebook. I am working on an assembly line now that I have refreshed my memory. We will see how ambitious I get and how this turns out. But my girls are about to get theirs. 3 really want one. One may help me with hers. Amber is completely indifferent about it so I will wait and see if she has girls and make some for them.

What a change

2009-06-22T01:50:00.002-06:00

Yep, life has changed. Some of it right now could be better. And some things I think are nice, like teenagers with licenses and spending money. I couldn't do much for Lee Joe for Father's Day but since two of the girls have been earning money, they all went shopping for their dad. Too Cute. And someone special helped too..(SHHH my mom helped with the coolest most enormous balloon, some flowers in a baseball looking vase and watermelon) Amber made her dad jell-o and the girls got him some WWII DVDs and cowboy hat he wanted. Why a cowboy hat, I don't know. I think a fedora would be much better. But I prefer to see him in baseball caps.

I still had a gift card to Cafe Ole so we went to dinner Sat night. I suppose that could be a pre-anniverssary dinner since our anniversary is Tuesday. And his birthday is next Sunday. Busy week but then not really because there is nothing we can do about any of it. So there you go.

I have been busy doing projects I have been meaning to finish and other ones I have been meaning to start. So maybe this is the summer to get things done. And the weather is nuts, but it isn't bothering me much because the temp is perfectly pleasant and cool. I haven't missed the pool because it hasn't been hot enough to swim anyway. I don't mind driving in this pleasant weather at all. It is still raining a little more than usual but not as bad as it was a couple weeks ago.

Kelsea had summer basketball and that just finished. It wasn't as hard as last summer and she still needed help getting to the Nampa tournament and to the one in Pocatello. This weekend's tournament was here at her school. I got to go to a few games and watch her play. She was playing Point Guard and was making 13 or more points on a few games but man, 3 games in one day!! Holy Cow. She played in 2 on Saturday. Now it's over so it was about right. She got a lot of experience. Much more confidence.

My poor oldest girls are having a little trouble adjusting. Amber is, I think, suppose to attend the singles branch that meets right in our church. Her friend wasn't there and her boyfriend is officially at BYU now so she came home early today. Kelsea has lost Amber and isn't adjusting well to the new YW president and that is a bumpy ride for her. This is interesting. Those two are pretty dependent on each other whether they admit it or not. I am just glad Amber will be here when she starts school. I don't think anyone is ready for that change to happen--the one where she moves out. Amber and Kelsea are planning a trip to Utah together with Amber's friend. Amber wants to see the BF and Kelsea wants to check out hot LDS college guys at BYU(not sure how I feel about that) She talks the boy crazy talk but doesn't act it when the guys like her so it's OK. The friend is a lot like Kelsea so it should be one nutty trip.

Autumn had a way awesome dream. I wish it was my dream or maybe it just being real would such the coolest thing. But she dreamed that I (me) got a check in the mail for a half million dollars..... EWWWEEEEE, yep, that would be super duper awesome!!!

Bummed

2009-06-17T18:30:00.003-06:00

This stupid recession thing can go away now. I am sick of it. Lee Joe was so close to getting a job. Went through 2 interviews and a driving test, got his hazmat on his CDL and cleared the backround check and they decided he didn't have enough experience driving hazardous materials--well Duh, he just jumped through all the hoops and they knew what he was doing so several weeks of it looking like he was in and he's not and there has been nothing here for months. His work has dried up along with all the other people in town. He is getting stuff here and there. So anyways, I have been positive and hopeful for a turn around for months and months and months now and I feel like- well- just miserable. So there you have it, we have joined half of america in the misery of nothing. You look for work and even in all the states around us there is very little and this is when Lee Joe's work is always hopping. So along with half of the Lay family we are in need of prayers. Amber and Kelsea are making more than Lee Joe it seems like with their little jobs they have. I am still getting a check but if he can't figure it out I will be calling people around here and looking for something for the next 2 months.

One crazy lady

2009-06-14T23:23:00.002-06:00

That's me. Lee Joe, Kelsea, Kylee and Hannah went to Pocatello this weekend for Kelsea's summer basketball tournament. She played 3 games on Friday and 2 on Saturday. They stayed at Kim and Gwen's and visited Grandma Leavitt on her birthday on Saturday with Jared and his family. I was home with 2 kids and Autumn spent the night at her friends house on Friday and Amber went to babysit. So I was home ALONE for awhile. I decided it was a great opportunity to tackle Autumn and Hannah's room while they were gone. I bagged up 3 bags of trash. Washed all their sheets and made thier beds. As a result of that cleaning frenzy that also involved the kitchen too, I was until 4AM. I can't remember when I did that last, It has been a long time. But since Autumn was back home at 10am the next day I didn't get enough sleep and it was gloomy and rainy so I got nothing done on Saturday. It wasn't a big deal though. I got some time with Amber and then some time Autumn on Saturday evening. It was pleasant. Everyone is home today back to all their squabbles.

Good news on migraines- the weather has been toying with me and I have successfully headed off 2 migraines this weekend with my new meds and knowledge. That is progress. I am ready for my favorite dry Idaho air. I really don't care if it warms up. We have been having Texas like weather lately.

I am sure everyone else out there hasn't felt the pain from the DTV transition. But we have. We do have a ridiculous amount of TVs in this house but we don't have cable and only one of the TVs we have was ready for it. We were able to get two converter boxes with the coupons but we still need two more boxes at least. I like to watch TV in my office and we get one spanish channel on it now. Amber's TV doesn't have any thing she can watch either. The other obnoxious thing is the remotes we need for the TV and the converter box. The stupid box doesn't have any buttons you can push on it so you have use a remote to watch TV. I don't mind the manual way of doing things--unlike men. The cool thing is we have 13 channels we can watch without paying for it so we feel a little more like we have cable. I am kind of silly because I like the company I guess of a TV even if I am not watching it, I have it on.

So I am rambling about nothing now...

Pancakes

2009-06-10T19:38:00.002-06:00

Lets see. I thought I was going to have something fun for dinner. We had for dinner. I have this great, usually simple recipe for pancakes. First batch I mixed turned out OK. It was taking forever for the electric skillet to warm up. It took so long for the first side to cook. I flipped them and suddenly they were cooking so hot. I burned half the pancakes. SO I needed to make more batter, and Amber was bringing a friend. So I mixed up a new batch. So I thought. Then I put too much baking powder in it so I thought I would double it. As I went through the rest of the ingredients I added 4 eggs. I only needed 2. Ugh. So I tripled the recipe even though we are short on both flour and sugar. Still too much egg and slightly thin. I cooked many many more pancakes. And to finish the fiasco I dropped one nicely cooked pancake on the floor. So there were 5 burned ones, 4 really runny cooked pancakes, and one dropped one all made it to the garbage. I wanted to make cookies and it was delayed several days because I needed eggs, once I got them I was too busy or tired to make them. And then while making the mess of pancakes I discovered our lack of brown sugar and then the lack of regular white sugar and flour was low. I have some food storage that was given to us recently but I don't dare try using it yet because it is 11 years old. We will sample on something smaller and after tonight's very messy pancake making disaster--and the kitchen is a complete disaster, I dare not make cookies today. Maybe I will stick to scrapbooking tonight.

I went to the neurologist today. He gave some more ideas on medications to use with my headaches and variations of meds to try so I feel a little better prepared. I hope it will help with the next one and I hope it won't last 3 days. Other than 3 dr visits in 3 days there has not been much going on and I need some motivation to get busy on something. Well I say not much, it is AMAZING what freedom having 2 licensed drivers brings to me. And I was able to call them and tell them to get sugar, brown sugar, and flour at the store. Yippee!!!

Adjective Alley

2009-06-07T01:31:00.002-06:00

The middle of the night title was about to be Frustrated but there was too much of a theme with my last title. Here I am in the middle of the night for the 2nd night in a row. I woke up with this torturous headache 2 days in a row. I had more success Friday kicking it with some migraine meds but they left me weak, thoughtless and listless--but pain free. Today was not so good. I took one pain medicine in the morning. I guess it took the edge off. I didn't have any more of the migraine meds I had yesterday so I had to wait until 24 hours had passed to try some new stuff. I was really bad by then, shaking and sick to my stomach and trying to get back to bed after eating for the first time at 1pm. I took the meds and waited 2 hours to take the next. They didn't work and my tolerance for these headaches is getting very low so I have been getting very distressed. This one if I had to gauge the pain was about a 9 when up and 7-8 while lieing completely still. I was slurring and my left side was a little weaker than the right. I took a different pill. It eased up with that and a hot pad after everyone hunted high and low for it. Then I woke up to stomach cramps so I took ibuprofren and at 8 I was pain free. And now it is 1:30am I still have some pain but now I am awake. So what the heck!!!! I really hope that 2days of headache is all I get. I was really close to going to the ER today. I think I will try to go to bed now. Hopefully, if I have a pain free day here soon, I will post some pictures of Amber's graduation.

Bewildered

2009-06-04T23:42:00.002-06:00

That is a fun word. And that describes how I feel at this moment. Bewildered... At having a daughter that no longer attends public school. To have a full time job that I get to spend my summer home with the kids and it starts tomorrow--after lunch at McGrath's fish house with the staff at the school. And very bewildered about something else......Not that Amber's graduation should be over shadowed too much. She was one in 27 students with over a 4.0 for at least 7 semesters out of 450 kids. Ok, that is an accomplishment with the classes she took.

I am bewildered by something today and this whole story is weird. I came back from my lunch on the last day of school with seeing something that looked like and emergency. A man was laying on the ground. They had an umbrella shading this guys face from the sun and my doctor and the principal were standing there over this guy with the school nurse leaning on the ground talking to him. They had called 911 so an ambulance was on the way---2nd time in the past month. He was a dad that had an issue with medication and he was diabetic I guess. I am saying hello to our doctor-Amber's boyfriend's dad. He asks me if someone has called me and I say no. And he tells me that he was wondering if I would be interested in being a patient representative to a committee that the governor is forming for health care reform. I was like Ok... Lee Joe has been on about his rational national party so I was confused. But our daughter's boyfriend's father/friend/doctor said they wanted someone on the committee that had experience with no insurance and he felt I was very articulate. I say much more in writing than what comes out of my mouth. And sometimes what comes out of my mouth is inarticulate. I have to call someone at my doctor's office tomorrow to find out more. So, yes, I am bewildered. I was asked out of the blue to have a voice in a committee on health care reform formed by the governor for the state of Idaho. We will see where this goes. Yep, bewildered.....Oh and by the way, the ambulance showed up, the guy was OK but got in the ambulance to be taken to the hospital. It was all very strange. I am still bewildered...

Graduating child of mine

2009-06-02T23:20:00.003-06:00

I seem to always fall short when it comes to getting information out and trying to think ahead. It happens when the kids are baptised and all other grand events in their little lives. I get a little wrapped up in a thousand other things and details and then later I realize what I should have or could have done. There is so much worry involved it overrides the creativity it takes to something right. So I am trying to get word out-yes it is a little late, about a little plan I have. I can't really afford to throw a party right now. I didn't get enough invitations to send to everyone I know. Then it was too late to do something economical. So I have an idea. For one was to use Facebook to announce this. And now my blog.

I want to throw a sort of "Snail Mail celebration" for Amber and just ask everyone to mail Amber something-a little card or whatever to congratulate her for accomplishing so much.

She is graduating with a class of 450. I thought was more like 600 but I guess that was couple years ago. She has been in the top 10% of her class. She has worked hard so I hope that everyone might want give her a well deserved pat on the back.

She will be attending Boise State University in the fall. She wants to major in chemical engineering and is being awarded over $5000.00 in scholarships her first semester.

To snail mail Amber: our address is 7109 Northview St. You should know what city and state. 83704. She will be required to reply to anything sent to her.

Amber's graduation is Thursday June 4. 7pm at the Taco Bell arena. Anyone who can or wants to come can.

She just graduated from seminary on Sunday. I want to say more but I have to work just 1 1/2 more days!!! So I still need some sleep I guess.

hmm...ummmm...

2009-05-26T18:11:00.003-06:00

These are the kind of things my 16 year old daughter does just because. So here is a good laugh because I need one.

First off I want to say that I miss my sister. So here is a shout out to her!! And we don't get to talk enough and I hopefully I will be able to call long distance on my home phone sometime this week.

This weekend was great. Beautiful weather. We didn't do much and for us sometimes that is just a fantastic thing. The kids were off in all sorts of directions between helping my mom get ready and have a yard sale to other things.

I scrapbooked for the first time in years this weekend. I did Amber's little prom story into a scrapbook. It was so much fun and I loved how it turned out. It has been a long time since I made something and then enjoyed doing it so much.

We still have problem with Amber's senior pictures. We have been waiting for them for 2 weeks now and and now her announcements will be going out late. But I don't think too many people are coming for it anyway. I wish I could do more for her, she is so deserving. I don't know.

I had to take our big dog Buddy into the vet. He is growing all kinds of cysts all over and one is on the inside of his eyelid. The vet seemed not too concerned at the moment and that is a good thing. She was more concerned about a few of his other cysts. His quality of life is good and we are going to keep an eye on them. He is around 11 or 12 years old now. He is 94 pounds!! The car and vet trip was so stressful that he laid on the floor and panted for over an hour. We know he is very elderly, poor guy. Our little dog is 10 now but she barky and bouncy as always. Little dogs don't age as rapidly as big ones do. The vet trip didn't cost that much and I had them trim his nails too.

Today, at work, was a blended Monday Tuesday and it was a bit of a crappy day. It was a little frustrating but it will be OK. Friday will be here one day sooner. Summer vacation is 6 1/2 school days away. A mom and grandma are kind of out to get me still. Today was easier to deal with because some good things are going to happen I am sure by the end of the week. I am going to positive think it into action.

You know what the tooth fairy brought me?

2009-05-21T17:31:00.003-06:00

I think everyone is now facebook addicted and no one reads blogs anymore. But I like more filler. So I will try to be the ever faithful blogger.

The point to this blog has to do with Hannah. She has a horrible time loosing her teeth. But she finally lost the tooth next to her top front tooth. She did it on her own. First of all that was exciting. And then it was dramatically sad when she was washing it off on our kitchen sink, with a bunch of dirty dishes in it, and she dropped it. Big tears and drama. But it fell in a bowl. We found it. All was well. She was excited all over again. She tells her dad that she doesn't want the tooth fairy to take it because she wanted to show everyone at school. OK. In the morning she asks her sisters "You know what the tooth fairy brought me" The girls ask her "what?" "Absolutely NOTHING!" She was pretty disgusted. I tell her "Hannah, Your dad said that you didn't want the tooth fairy to take the tooth isn't that true?" "I knid of did but kind of didn't." She replies. "Well dad had to keep the tooth fairy from taking your tooth last night." "Oh that is what all that noise was about." (he went on about health insurance kind of heatedly that night) . She showed off her tooth and the tooth fairy came last night and all was well once again.

Someone wrote their first piece of hate mail to the principal about me :( But all was made somewhat well again today. Within the same half hour the most difficult child in the school told his teacher that I was the duty that was the most fair. That like nearly floored me with shock. I would have never expected him to say that about me. So I took that as very high praise from him and managed to cope with the hate mail--a little better today. Not so great yesterday.

I wanted to tell a story that I have been meaning to share I can't give too many details. But I did work for the school several years ago for about a month. During that time there was a little that was very difficult. But it was so sad because we found out when he was really late for school that he had gotten himself up and walked himself to school down 2 busy intersections to be there. He was really too little to be doing that in his own. Somedays he had the same clothes on as the day before and his hands were so dirty like they hadn't been washed for days. We would get his hands cleaned up and find him some breakfast. One day I walked by his lunch tray and saw something on his tray. They were actual bullets for a gun. I stopped and walked back and went whoa!! I picked them up quietly and told him those were not things to bring to school and brought them to the principal. Before the end of the year he was in foster care. He was able to come back before the last day of school and he was so clean and looked so much better. He is still there. His circumstances are better, grandma takes care of him now and mom is still around. His younger sister is there now too. What I am getting at and how I am so touched is they had "adminisrtrative assistants day" And his class made some cards for the secretary and I. I was very emotional when I read his and this is what he said "Dear Mrs. Lay, I love it how you help evry body around the school. I bet you nobody appricates it more than I do you are one of my favriot actully you are my favoriot I appriciate it when you say the announcements you do a really good job" (Nothing beats little kid spelling) Anyways, when you know this boy's story, even though you don't know it as well as I do, These kind of moments, I think, can be the most meaningful. When you touch a kids life in a positive way, it may be one of the few moments that that child may have in their life. You never know. I try to remember that with the job that I do, even when all the kids do is drive me nuts. I am the adult here, I can handle it , I think........

Happily ever after Prom

2009-05-16T23:06:00.016-06:00

Once Upon a time..... About a week ago.....There was a young maiden who waited and watched out the window for her young man to arrive so he could take her to his house to watch the Office and then go to a play. She waited and waited and was almost ready to give up, so she took herself to her room to rest.

(forgive me young daughter, I could not resist this pic)

Like I said, the wait was long, she was resting and everyone in the house was busying themselves with various activities when out on the lawn a trumpet sounded. It sounded as if it was announcing the arrival of royalty. Everyone was quite puzzled. So everyone had to come see what all the noise was about.

At the frontdoor stood a footman of sorts and he began to read his proclamation....
"Hear ye, Hear ye...
By the order of the Prince of Richland, all fair maidens, are requested to come forward and try on the royal shoe! The maiden who matches the royal shoe will please accompany the Prince to Live--slashed out Live---dance Happily Ever After......

Everyone was puzzled and then quite excited to try on this royal shoe. The house was full of young maidens and their mother, and a visting little boy. One by one the maidens lined up on the bench. The shoe was presented to each young lady--with the exception of one young maiden that could rival the future wearer of that coveted shoe.

For the first young maiden it was way too big, the second was a closer fit and yet it was still too big. For the 3rd young maiden, it ALMOST fit but yet still too big.

Before the last young maiden could try on the shoe, the other daughters told the mother She should try it on. It was a tempting offer and she jumped on it before her last daughter tried it on. The opportunity to possibly escape all the fair young maidens for a night was almost a dream come true. Besides, her Prince Charming was not as young as he use to be :) Alas, it did not fit the mother either, it was too small.

Finally, the oldest daughter had her chance to try on the shoe and it was just right. The father was turned into a hard hat when he tried to protest.

The shoe fit so now it was time to prepare for the Prom......As the footman and Prince were about to leave the rival wearer of the shoe showed up but it was too late. The Friendly woodland creatures witnessed the event and approved with much quacking.

The Fair Maiden, wearer of the shoe, was prepared for the dance by her Goofy Real Sister. Unfortunate for the Fair maiden because yes, they are related. Instead of singing a silly song and creating magic with a wand she worked her magic with a montage of very silly faces.

Besides the hair the Goofy Real sister also did the fingernails and toenails. Those fancy toenails are fake. The Fair maiden lost both of her toenails from a pair of past ill fitting shoes.

Goofy Real Sister was not alone in her preparation of the Fair Maiden, instead of mice working on her dress, The Bestest Mommy in the Whole Wide World added fabric to the back and sleeves and hand sewed 6 sets of appliqued flowers to her dress. The best magic was the back of dress was not attached with thread. It is a separate piece connected to the dress with adhesive velcro.....oooooooooh

So the fair maiden was beautified beautifully. She also had a little help with Auntie Devvy Cookie Lee. Those crazy eyelashes are not fake. They are hers.

So fair maiden was ready for the Arrival of Prince Rich. (his last name is Rich, okay)

He arrived and was still preparing for the magical night with another Prince.

The royal exchanging of the flowers commenced.

Properly flowered up, many pictures were taken by all. The paparazzi-otherwise known as The Bestest Mommy in the Whole Wide World, King Rich, Queen Rich and 2 of the younger fair maidens-kept taking pictures...Exhausting them before they left to take more pictures in the park to begin their night.

And Hopefully they pictured, ate and danced Happily Ever After at the Happily Ever After Prom....

They arrived very promptly before the curfew they were given. They ate great food, had fun at the dance and Amber did not loose her shoe at the dance but she did loose a fake toenail. It was too gross for the Prince to attempt to find and recover. Hopefully that does not arrive by another Prince on a pillow in the future. EWWWWW

They had a happy night.

The End....

Look who's driving now!

2009-05-09T23:25:00.002-06:00

I haven't taken any pictures but now I realize I should have. Ms. Sassy britches passed her driving test and written test with flying colors! She is a licensed 16 year old driver and boy was she ever driven to get it. She made her own appointment with the guy that she had to test with and just took care of business. Now I don't have to drive with her anymore but I sure do fret when she is out. Ugh. She has been very possessive over Senor Fuego Nada Peso. She has groomed the car inside and out. The car has a smell but in every other way it is 100 times better than the KIA or otherwise known as Asco. I don't get why Amber thought she had to keep that car. The KIA does have air conditioning and Senor Fuego Nada Peso does not. Only drawback so far.

Lee Joe informed me later last night that he was going to Seattle this morning. He is assembling something and could be gone all week. That meant he wasn't here to take the kids shopping but guess what? Teenagers with a license and jobs can take of things themselves now. I don't have to drive them there and sit in the car like I did one year. So we will see what tomorrow brings.

On Friday we heard a trumpet in our front lawn like you would hear to announce the arrival of royalty and then there was a knock at the door. At the door was a footman of sorts announcing the arrival of a prince (This is a true story-I am serious) And he had a shoe that he needed to try on every fair maiden in the house. The girls lined up on our bench outside-Kelsea was off on her own adventures so missed out- (Lucky Kelsea wasn't there, she wears the same size) the girls told me I had to try it on. Amber was the one that fit the shoe and she was asked to the Happily Ever After Prom. She accepted. Her boyfriend had her shoe on a pink pillow. I gave the shoe to them, then they gave Amber the pillow. He was dressed in a prince costume and his younger brother was the Footman announcing the trying on of the shoe and his dad(our doctor) played the trumpet. Pretty cute and funny. I have pictures!! I will post them later. I am not going to post them on Facebook. He asked us not to. I have been altering a dress for Amber to wear to prom. It is such a pretty dress!

I had something else to say but I don't remember and I have piles of clean laundry on my bed still.

The naming of a car

2009-05-06T21:41:00.002-06:00

One of the funniest parts of the trip home was the naming of the new car. Amber named our KIA Asco or Osco-(Spanish I don't know how to spell it) Which is Spanish for disgusting. The new car's name was discussed with much humor on the way home. Many laughs were shared between the 2 oldest and Lee Joe and I had to put in our two cents-mine was more like a peso. So the car is now newly named "Senor Fuego Nada Peso AHHHHHHHHHH" The ahh part is Kelsea's bit, you have to hear her say it and she said it has to spelled with 10 H's. Pretty silly but the Senor Fuego Nada Peso is sure fun to say :)

Here is couple of Miscellaneous bits--

I went to my sinus doctor and the neurologist yesterday. The sinus doctor felt some things were looking better even though my temp was over 100 and I was still having sinus pain and residual head pain from the headaches I had this weekend. I am using some famtastic allergy sinus spray. It works so good. Everything is in bloom and I can breathe and I barely sneeze. That stuff is called Veramyst. I went to the neurologist. He says it sounds like I am having some migraines that are kind of overreactive as he put it "we need to put out the fires because you are having some serious inflammation going on" So he put me on an antidepressant that also works for chronic pain. Then he is putting me Prednisone again for a week and on a high dose-7 pills in one day to 1 pill the last. I will wait for Saturday to start that. And then he gave me several samples of some designer drugs for my headaches. My sister takes one of them and I think it works for her so I hope something will work. He wanted to do an MRI as well. I found out my insurance still may not cover it. I might have to wait until December. That just ticks me off. Maybe if I had gone to the ER they would cover it.

A Friend of mine at the school had a pretty bad accident on Monday. She was putting one of the cafeteria tables up into the wall and it didn't latch and the two tables fell on her. She had turned around and didn't know it was coming and totally knocked her to the ground unconcious for few seconds. I came into the school from the crosswalk and the principal and the secretary were running into the gym and I went in there and she was on the floor. An ambulance was called. Her daughter is Autumn's age and she was brought in to see mom. We told my friend not to move. I was the one that was going to take her to the hospital but instead at the last minute she went to the hospital in the ambulance and her daughter got to go with her. Everyone was worried about head trauma. She found out today she has a broken arm. She is so bruised. It was very scary. But she is OK.

I have found my Dad's family on Facebook. I am excited because now I am friends with 3 of my Aunts and 4 of my cousins. 2 of them I haven't seen since I was 4 but one of them remembers me. I found out through my Aunts that my dad moved to Wisconsin. So you think I heard about it from him? No. I have no idea how long they have been there. My step mom is a piece of work. But I looked them up on the internet and I am pretty sure I have found their address and phone number. HA HA HA HA HA!!! She can't get rid of me that easy! But I am pretty sad about it really. But I will get over it like I have gotten over the past 30 something years. It is getting better-or at least a little easier to understand. I just know it will always be like this and I have had some good moments and that is all they are- are moments with my dad I will have to come to peace with that and I think I can.

So on that sad note--say out loud "Senor Fuego Nada Peso" (you can say the AHHHHHHHHHH if you want to)

Safely Home

2009-05-03T19:40:00.013-06:00

First of all, I made a promise to post a picture of my office in what I consider a clean state. Yes that is clean. Here is the reminder that it can be that way and I enjoy being here more when it is that way. Now that I have gotten that off my chest...onward to this past weekend

This week was a crazy nutty week. It was tough at work everyday and the evenings were not much better until I took Friday off and took it easy while I cleaned. Yes, I was able to do both. It was great. The big finale concert of the year took place Friday night. We almost had 4 kids in the concert but there were no Bass clarinet parts for Amber in any of the pieces that the High School orchestra played and sophomores were not required to play so Kelsea opted out. Kylee and Autumn were it. In the Elementary Honor Choir together.

We have been attending this concert every year since Amber was in 5th grade and in the Elementary Honor Choir as well. It was a big switch to have Amber and Kelsea sitting with me along with Hannah. They remided me of the days when they were 4 and 2. Seriously obnoxious!!!! Hannah was completely well behaved and I threaten those two over and over. The crazy part was Kelsea had played 10 tennis matches that day--Yes TEN . I like Yes today. Apparently either playing 10 tennis matches didn't phaze her or she was hysterically over tired.

This is the huge amount of kids that performed in the concert Friday. By the way--This is where Amber's graduation will be held.

We drove to Utah on Saturday morning. We left a little late but we have NEVER traveled anywhere here where it rained the entire trip. That is what it did. Rained and POURED and rained and rained. My car has more and more issues. The passenger side window has decided it doesn't work anymore. WHen it quit it was not quite up all the way. There was a sliver of window open. Just enough to make it quite noisy while traveling and every now and then get splashed with water. And the left blinker still doesn't like to work all the time. Blah. So because of the rain and I also had another really horrible headache. Talk about torture. We almost ran out of gas because Lee Joe thought Snowville was closer than it was so we made a couple more stops than we would have made. Then we took the wrong exit so went the long to the church. We missed the baptisms. But the girls and Lee Joe heard part of one confimation and all of the other and he was able to give the closing prayer even though nobody was in their Sunday clothes for it. It was take us as we are kind of thing. I was in the car trying to cope with my headache some more.

We made it to the temple on time. That was the first time I have been in the Salt Lake Temple. The beautiful part was when Molly and Allan came out of the temple it stopped raining. And it was beautiful and you would have never known that it had been raining only minutes before so I got some good pictures. Devanie took many more than I did and hopefully she will get a chance to post some.

Clearing skies finally for some great pictures!!! Molly and her family

All the girls in the Tabernacle. Amber and Kelsea super posing. The bench was super wet. I loved how all the trees were in bloom and there were tulips everywhere. I just love tulips.

Autumn and Hailey.....Sierra's back

I played with these two pictures on Picasa

I liked this picture except you can't quite get away from the construction of all the new high rises they are putting up.

So our ride home it was calm for awhile. Then we hit a pretty nasty storm. Then it would clear up and then every storm we would hit got worse and worse with pretty sunny spells inbetween. I put my sunglasses on and took them off over and over. The most intense storm seem to be the one hitting Boise as we got back to town. Or maybe I felt that way because I was the one driving. The wind was incredibly bad and the rain fell like it does in Texas. Like someone just unzipped a cloud. But we are home and the sky is pretty here once again. After waking with the headache again this morning I am now headache free and that is a beautiful thing!!!

ack ugh and blah

2009-04-29T22:06:00.002-06:00

I went to the chiropractor yesterday. My neck is starting to feel like flesh and my back included was starting to feel less like an exoskeleton and more like some relaxed muscle but I think I undid all that in two days. Two crazy days at work and I have a neck spasm but I also have tendonitis in my shoulder that flares up in the morning when I wake up with fury. In the past two days we had a grandma threaten to sue the school because we had to send the granddaughter home for the 2nd time with head lice. Grandma says "she doesn't have headlice" and the evidence is more than 7 bugs taped to the paper. We had the most volatile child in the school ready to explode yesterday and he really did it today. The child should be suspended but they just put with him " you should expel everybody on the playground over there or I am going to kill them all" from the mouth of a 4th grader. Today he punched a girl several times because she pinched him for not listening to her telling him to stop harrassing another student. On and On and to finish the day some kid put a bead in his ear. He tells us there is something in there but he really doesn't know how it got there because he didn't do it. HE DIDN'T DO IT REALLY--he says. Some gal I work with won't leave my desk and computer alone. And yeah it goes on and on. With the PE teacher almost running me down in the crosswalk to end the day. I hope tomorrow is better, I am taking Friday off. Someone said there is only 5 weeks left so vacation sounds great!! At least I get one. That is the light that I will chase. To bed I go. I was headed there 30 minutes ago.

picture montage

2009-04-28T18:11:00.004-06:00

I should be making dinner...

This kind of sums up how things were when I picked the girls up on Sunday. Amber caught in the middle and her boyfriend being highly ticked at her sister.

This one was just was too cute of the two of them. This is at the Santa Monica pier.

Kelsea had to hold these poses for a long time to get these pics. I laugh so hard every time I see them. Top one is California Screamin at California adventure. The bottom--well I am sure you can read :)

Internet down!!!

2009-04-25T10:05:00.003-06:00

I was without internet since Thursday night. You would have thought that the outside world disappeared. But it is only Saturday morning and after the quest guy came I am hooked up again before 10 am. That put me in a long overdue cleaning frenzy-even after a long week and how tired I already was. I WILL post pics and I might need to take one to print and hang in the office to show how it should look. But I cheated. The paper trail is now in one box and I still need to go through it. anyways.......

My oldest 2 are having a blast in California. I wish every time I talk to them that I could have gone. But it is really good for them to have that time with friends. Before Kelsea left she was kissed on the cheek by a boy. And at Disneyland another one tried real hard to hold her hand and then she ditched him for that and then the Quiznos guy told her she had nice eyes and that was in a 24 hour period. Amber has been with her boyfriends nonstop. His parents are chaperones so no worries there. There was a Hugh Jackman sighting. But my girls were not the ones to spot him and I guess he just got his handprints in the whatever place that is and Amber at least saw the freshly imprinted cement. They went to the Santa Monica pier and walked on the beach. I think there was an attempt at Kelsea double dating with a boy on the trip with Amber and her boyfriend. They are back at Disneyland today all day until 10 and then they make their way home.

Now I need to get off this balsted computer and finish all the awesomeness I started last night.

TOMORROW

2009-04-21T11:27:00.002-06:00

The sun is already out so we are OK there. But Amber and Kelsea are off to Disneyland tomorrow. Yes, I want to stow away and go too---for free---because it cost enough to get them on this trip and enough to make sure they are nourished and have a little fun too. Amber has her spending money. Kelsea has had a harder time. But she will have some. I have to go back to work.....But I'm wishing.....Wishing.... for a trip away....to somewhere.....somewhere....lots of fun!!!

The ups and downs

2009-04-15T18:07:00.002-06:00

Here is a mixed feeling item: Amber got her graduation announcements today. If I make her responsible they might get sent out. BUT that means the end is near that my first born will be done with school and out in the real world but that real world will still be at home. We aren't sending her away the way her boyfriend's family is sending him almost the minute he finishes school. Anyways they are nice and I still have to pay for her senior pictures. I have the proofs I just need to order our copies but it will happen soon.

I am fighting that stupid thing I that afficts me way too often. I have missed the past 2 days of work from it. I am frustrated and have done nothing but sleep. I get rid of it only to have it come back at 4 in the morning. The sinus doctor isn't helping much. I am waiting to see the neurologist on the 5th and I was fed up still yet again and went to a chiropractor that is also an acupuncturist. She was amazed at how tense all my back muscles and neck muscles are and says that my sinuses are really bad but of course it can't all get resolved in one visit. Hence the headache revisiting today. My back and neck feel better. She said it is like a sinus migraine flu and that describes what I feel perfectly. Add a little anemia and you wind up feeling like a beat up puny little pile of sleepy mush. I am desperate for pain relief and am frustrated with the lack of help in that department. I should cry and make more noise about it I guess at the doctor's office. Hopefully I will be better tomorrow. I feel better now but that didn't make a difference last night leading into today. So I will stop complaining--

On to the other up---My grandfather's visit was great. He is so funny. Only he can come from a trip from Alaska and have a near miss with a buffalo herd in Canada and hit a snowbank with his car. His car was in the shop while he was here getting a paint job. But he offered us this other car he has in Washington. I guess it is a 96 Dodge Neon. We just need to go pick it up when the snow melts a little more. Kelsea can get her driver's license now so it is perfect timing. Can't beat a free car. He was so excited to give it to us. He is so good about remembering birthdays. It is crazy his memory. He has been calling all the kids and me on our birthdays. And there are so many besides us. Someone asks him why he doesn't write it down and he says it he would just loose the thing he would write it down on.

Easter was nice. Grandpa and my mom were over for dinner. We still miss my sister and her family. It is always so quiet. But it was a very laid back day otherwise and the weather was beautiful. Grandpa brought his dog Bitsy. She was very attached to grandpa and he was attached to that dog too. We know where get all our pet lovin from.

Other than that--Amber and Kelsea go to Ananhiem next week for their music department trip. I wish I could go.....

random pics

2009-04-08T22:14:00.003-06:00

Blogger is having issues while I try upload a few more pictures. Anyways, I took pictures at the girls tennis matches on Tuesday. I was so impressed with my camera-finally. It seems to get better at picture taking the more I use it. I am pretty sure it is not just me. I took great pictures with Melissa's camera that is the same brand and now this one is starting to behave like hers. What I was trying to show was that the coolest part in this pic is seeing the tennis ball so clearly. So I will to post more pics a little later. Amber's movement is not blurry either. Hooray for great action shots!

The drawback of the girls being on Varsity tennis is the coaches(all guys) I guess, pick the uniforms for the year. This year the dress barely covered Amber and Kelsea's butts and they have "cleavage" whether or not they have any. Ridiculous. My girls are funny. Amber wore her guy shorts under her dress and Kelsea wore long spandex shorts. And they usually wear some sort of under tank top underneath. By the way-Amber won her singles match. It lasted so long and she was so tired. She wins with consistency even she practically hits it back to her opponent everytime. Eventually they will mess up and that is how she won. Kelsea won her doubles match this day.

This is near dowtown Boise. I love the skyline pictures too.
I totally love the town we live in!

Fun on the tramp

Icing on the grumpy cake

2009-04-07T21:59:00.002-06:00

Here is the icing on that grumpy thing I have going on about and may sum up my frustration and why I resist going on and on about the source of my grumpiness. It takes A LOT to make me loose it. But I shall NOT restrain myself no more! This morning, my husband, The grown man of the house! was dumping his boots on the front door mat just outside the front door. Why he couldn't reach one foot over and dump it in the rocks just off the front porch is beyond reason. And WHY he sees NOTHING wrong in this practice and WHY he thinks I am UNREASONABLE to ask him not to do such a thing when the wood floor is already ruined and covered in sandy dirt all the time-yes he makes a living that way and yes I show restraint in expressing my frustration at this. But PUHLEEESEEEE-who is being unreasonable. He never cleans up any of the dirt unless it is an obvious trail of large dirt clods from one end of the house to the other. I don't even have a decent vacuum and somebody tell me who hid the stinking BROOM!!!! Ok don't anybody comment defending on his behalf. If I piled HIS random stuff I find everywhere, which amounts to more than the 3 oldest leave around here-but in competition with the youngest, it would amount to a mountain. I am glad he is making money even though I never know when I can pay anything. All I can say is the Lay family ability to clean does not exist. I am not sure if I can take it anymore. OK I can breathe again-for right now. until I find that last straw, or sock, or shoes. I shall carry on, with my basket of his abandoned items. Have you seen my muscles lately? I hope I didn't harm your hearing(or eye sight) with my rant.

Sunny yet grumpy

2009-04-06T21:23:00.002-06:00

I am seriously grumpy. Could be the weird night sleep, Monday and a bunch of other stress getting to me. I could be much more positive and say "hey, I am so seriously thankful for 3 days of great weather after the blizzard misery that was Friday." I would have enjoyed being home looking out the window and saying "Man, look at that." But I was outside during the worst of it blowing me and all the poor little kids outside. I guess we could of said go in because no one was prepared for winter, it WAS suppose to rain. I was dressed for rain. The wind chill was 24 degrees ---not at the school(it had to be colder). The kids were huddling in corners with their ice creams-silly kids-and their popcorn-the school sells that on Fridays. We did let the last two grades go in but I was done being outside by then. But I am thankful for my paycheck because that has saved us the past few months and for the insurance. I am also thankful for the laptop I just got from cleaning a storage closet. I was told I could have it because it had been in there so long. I almost shook from containing the disbelief and excitement because I have been wanting a laptop for SOOO long. It works great even though it has all the school software on it and the battery is shot. Those things, I hope, can be fixed and I can still live with it in the meantime.

Somehow we scrounged up $900 for the 2 oldest to go on their Anahiem trip with the music department. It took rolling coins-about $48 worth and pulling out some unused lunch money from their lunch accounts-about $50. Amber has worked a bunch and Kelsea has babysat, grandma helped and the other grandma let Kelsea do a bunch of chores. I had to come up with $230.00 in the end and now we need to find money for them to eat and do whatever with when they go on the 22nd. Amber might have more paychecks and she has $75.00 coming for talking about fries for 2 hours. I would have done that! Kelsea will probably get to babysit a few times before she goes. Anyways, they will get to go now with their buddies. Going to Disneyland with my friends in high school is one of my favorite high school memories.

Yeah, I have spring fever. I want to be home doing something else all week. Oh well.

Spring Break is over.

2009-03-30T17:59:00.002-06:00

So we are back into the swing of things like it or not. I like it not. I liked it at home. But the weather was pretty crappy all week. So not much happened. And of course it was sunny today but very chilly with the wind. We had a rather nasty storm blow in Saturday night and the wind howled all day Sunday. My mom's patio umbrella blew away to who knows where. I was afraid my gazebo would blow into into my family room window but it didn't.

We had company last night. Thomas and Randa came over. My kids were somewhat obnoxious-aftermath of being home all week together.

Since Janika asked-I read a book called "The Help" It takes place in Mississippi in the 60s it was a pretty Ok book. It was well written. But the books I love to read are by Maeve Binchy. She is from Ireland and I read and love anything by her. The latest book I read called Heart and Soul linked a bunch of characters together from her other books and I loved that. Now I want to go back and read her other books again So I can remember all the other stories. One of her books Tara Road was and Oprah book club pick but I was reading her books long before that. Some of her other books are Quentins, Scarlet Feather, Circle of Friends-that was a movie with Minnie Driver and Chris O'Donnell. There is so much by her I can't remember them all. I can't think of one I didn't like.

I haven't posted pictures here yet but I did put some on Facebook. I will try to get this updated soon. I have been a little out of it even though I was home for a week. I didn't get much accomplished. My back had issues for 3 days. I did visit a friend with all the kids and they all played. That was nice. I invited Amber's boyfriends family to the zoo with us and she(the mom) invited someone else and her kids along and I came home wishing we went on our own instead. Long story I don't care to revisit right here now. Little of my social phobia showing itself. I found out my brother has been in jail for a month and my mom isn't doing that great health wise. She is OK just not great. It was an interesting week and I still have a moutain of clean laundry in my downstairs bathroom and a broken handle on the toilet upstairs. I guess I should go to Home Depot tonight so we can flush the toilet like a normal family with indoor plumbing. Ahh the little things. It is time for me to write my own book :)

Happy and other...

2009-03-24T18:17:00.002-06:00

The best news came today!! We knew a week or 2 ago that Amber got into to Boise State University. But we kind of figured that would happen. I was waiting for scholarship and grant news. We got that today. She got $500.00 scholarship for the school year-a $3000 scholarship for the school year and $2010 scholarship for the school year from the engineering school. And she got over $5300.00 in pell grant money. They look like they can be renewable for each year she is there. We will have to find out about that. There could be more still. Those were just from BSU. I need to talk to my sister and see how much that might cover for the year since she just graduated from BSU last year.

I went back to my sinus doctor today and he has referred me to a neurologist for my headaches. The bad news there is that I will have to wait until May before I can get in but that might help me not have to wait until Dec like the sinus doctor is trying to do so my insurance will cover it. So it could be helpful. I just want to do something now and not go through another month of this headache crap while trying to work.

I am miserable. I have been so stressed that my left shoulder blade is in a serious spasm. I can barely move and it hurts to breathe but I got to read a book yesterday but it is killing my get busy time during spring break. But that is a typical issue I have been having with time off. Oh well. I have actually read 2 books in a week. That is amazing for me. That is some good down time for myself. I guess I will take it. I am ready for that hot pad again.